Gee, Thanks.

Judge, to my client, as part of the plea colloquy: And are you satisfied with the representation you have received from your lawyer?

Asshole client, who has wasted a ton of my time being an asshole client:  Well, I mean, I have some critiques to offer her...


  1. The question of "are you satisfied" always makes me cringe. What does satisfied mean? I sometimes run the Stones "satisfaction" in my head as the question is being asked.

  2. Whenever that question was asked, I would cross my arms, raise one eyebrow, and give the dude the biggest side-eye you've ever seen. It was kind of like, "Don't you dare bring our home life into this courtroom!"