Life Lessons

Important lessons I've learned from The Secret Life of the American Teenager, from ABC Family...

1. If you have sex before you get married, your father will die. Immediately. And, moreover, the better the sex, the more tragic and horrible the death will die. Good sex = plane crash. That's what happened to Grace. And she was religious. Also, for the rest of your life, you will have to live not only with the knowledge that you killed your father through sex, but also that he was mad at you when he went down in the fiery crash.

2. If you have sex, even with sixty forms of protection, you will get pregnant. No matter what. That's what happened to Amy. And her mother.

3. If you have sex with enough random people, there's a good chance that one of them will end up being your step- or half-brother. That's what happened to Adrien.

Ok, that's all I've learned so far. But I'm going to have to keep watching.