Facebook Weirdness

So, I joined facebook a few months ago. It was all well and good until...

In the past few days, I've run into a few things on facebook that just make me feel... weird. There's no other word for it.

First, someone I didn't know at all added me as a friend. I checked her profile, and I went to high school with her. Except I don't remember her at all. Even after I've seen her picture. Maybe if she listed her maiden name I'd remember... but I've got nothing. I accepted her friend request because she's "friends" with a few of my other high school friends, so she's not a spammer or anything, but I have no memory of her whatsoever.

Weird, right, how some people from high school are so memorable, and others are so forgettable? It made me wonder if I was memorable or forgettable. Quite a few of my high school friends have added me as "friends," despite the fact that I haven't seen or spoken to any of them in about a decade, so I think that might mean I'm at least somewhat memorable.

Ok, so that was the first weird thing. Just a little bit weird.

Then, second. There was this girl that I was somewhat friendly with in high school. We certainly weren't close friends. And I've never spoken a word to her since graduation. But I liked her a lot in high school. I guess I would say she was almost the opposite of the first girl I mentioned - she was extremely memorable. She was incredibly outgoing, kind of the star of every situation. Strangely, I remember that towards the end of high school, there were some rumors that she was involved with some serious drugs (my high school was kind of a pot and beer atmosphere, at worst), and eventually I think I heard that she had dropped out of college. So I kind of never knew what became of her. It seemed like a shame, she had a ton of potential.

Anyway, I noticed her on facebook a few months ago when I joined. I could see her little mini picture without adding her as a friend, and she looked good and healthy and had some crazy outgoing (but typical for her, as I remembered her) picture. But I didn't add her as a friend because I kind of thought that she might not remember me - like I said, we weren't tight, and maybe I only remembered her because she was so outgoing, but maybe she wouldn't remember me.

So the weird thing that happened was that she added me as a friend on facebook, and, first, she looks COMPLETELY different, even from her picture a few months ago. There's no way I would have recognized her. And, second, she's a singer under a different name with some moderate success. And there was a link to a few of her songs, and she sounds really good. I would have never known. I always thought she had the ability to do anything, I could have totally seen her growing up to be an actress or something, but I didn't know anything about her as a singer.

But it got me thinking about how you don't really know what people are going to be when they "grow up." And how if I had gone to one of the bars she sings at with her band, I would have ever known that she was the girl that I went to high school with.

Finally, today, came the weirdest thing. I saw that one of my friends had found a new friend, and it said that my friend found this other person using "classmate search." So I clicked on classmate search. And guess who is on there...

Remember this friend? The one who stopped speaking to me after this terrible date?

Yup, she's on facebook. Weird, weird, weird, right? After all this time that I've wondered what ever happened to her, she looks exactly the same in her little picture and, from what I can see, it looks like she still lives in the same "region" where we grew up. As of right now, we don't have any mutual facebook friends, she hasn't added any of our other high school friends as friends.

That's all I know - I couldn't see her whole profile without adding her as a friend, and her inviting me as a friend.

Which I decided not to do. At least not right now. I think I'd be too upset if she didn't accept. And it would just be weird. And I hate feeling weird.

On the other hand, I think if she added me as a friend on facebook (without me friending her first), and she had a phone number on her profile, I'd probably pick up the phone and call her immediately. But I feel like she needs to make the first move.

In the meantime I'm feeling some real facebook weirdness. ugh.


  1. Facebook is totally weird. Similar things have happened to me. It just introduces this strange new dynamic into relationships I thought were in the past.

    I wouldn't contact the friend either. Maybe she'll find you the same way and make the first move. (But wouldn't it be weird if she were married to the Reader?)

  2. After I read this post and the post about how it was her birthday I was going to say that you should just friend her and let by gones be bygones, and if you miss her, wouldn't it be worthwhile to make the first move.

    And then I read the post about the date with the reader. And, um...I think she is probably not someone you want in your life. She should have at least given you a chance toe explain - you guys were BFF, for Pete's sake. Also, clearly the kind of person who cannot allow herself to be attracted to someone unless she thinks someone else might want him, too. So, I'd say, let sleeping dogs lie and stay far away.

  3. I totally remember that post you did on her! Yup, let her make the first move.

    I'm starting to feel a little bit more love to Facebook as I get comfortable with it.

    I wasn't %100 sure i was cool with people being able to see photos of me in my personal life but I wanted to share with my friends and people I've gotten to know.

    I've gotten to the point where I don't just use it for work anymore.

  4. Yeah, on the social networking sites, "friend" is kind of a loose concept that bears only a superficial relationship to actual friends. They really need levels of friends---actual friends, people I know online, people who don't know me but liked my profile page...

    You also need at least two identities, one for work life and one for personal life. And maybe a third one for that secret blogger identity...

  5. I had to come back here and say this, because I don't want to write it on my own blog -- the guy I had a crush on all through high school, and basically threw myself at, and was so embarrassed years later that when I saw him on the street (he didn't see me -- I hope) I literally turned around and ran, just "friended" me.

    Talk about weird. I haven't decided whether to accept. I guess so.

  6. Facebook is totally weird. Now I keep my profile private only to my friends, and my picture is not one where you can see my face. So you have to be my friend in order to see my face. Which is fine since I have an eminently google-able name so most of the friend requests I get are in fact from my friends.

    But I have had a couple friend requests from people whom I just have NO relation to. Names and pictures aren't familiar, and we are different ages so there's no way we went to school together. And we have no friends in common. It is just weird. So those friend requests just languish...

    I wouldn't contact the friend either; let her make the first move. She should have believed you, her BFF, over the reader, even though she must have wanted to believe the reader because she wanted to go out with him.

    I'm actually more mystified that she noticed the reading thing but didn't find it annoying!


  7. By the way, if Facebook makes you feel weird, check out MySpace sometime. I have a page there just to give my blog a presence, and there are all kinds of strange things going on.