My New Distraction

Sometimes, in court, I like to play "What's (s)he here for?"

You know, sometimes it's funny because it's obvious: You see a humongous body-builder guy, acne scars and all, and you think to yourself, "Steroids." And you feel a little rewarded when they call his case and, sure enough, you've guessed right.

Pretty little white girls are usually shoplifters. Skateboarding and graffiti punks are two often confused groups. And, in fact, the two sometimes go together, which can lead to even greater confusion.

You can be thrown off by the middle-aged white couple waiting in the courtroom... did one glass of wine too many lead to a DWI? No, no, that's their punk son charged with marijuana possession.

Sometimes, you've got to think ahead to the collateral crimes. You see a guy all pimped out - fur coat, fur hat, crocodile shoes, cane, the whole nine yards... and you think "too easy, pimping."

But no, the prosecutor reads the charges, "Defendant assaulted the victim, slapping her across the face while saying 'Where my money, ho?'"

Sometimes when you hear hoofbeats, you've got to think zebras.

If you've followed this at all, you're going to appreciate my new find: Guess My Crime!

Everyone looks pretty homogeneous so these "mugshots" are either coming from some totally white neighborhood. I've also considered the possibility that the blogger just took pictures of his friend and co-workers and made up the crimes. But that won't stop me from playing. I just wish they were a little more "colorful," and I don't mean just racially.


  1. Yes! I do this a lot when I'm at the jail picking up book-in sheets. You're right on that pretty girls are usually busted for shoplifting lip balm.

  2. We play this game in my office (I'm an appellate defender), though with the defendants' DOC photos. I'm with you on the site needing a bit more color -- those have to be from a small, white suburb (because really, where are the armed robberies and murders?). Thanks for sharing the link!

  3. Love it! As a municipal court prosecutor I found this hilarious. Sometimes they are so obvious, but then I had this 75 year old guy in nice pants, and a sweater vest, with a collared shirt. I thought for sure I would be dealing with a suspended license, but no, it was for defacating in public (and he had a doctor's note indicating based on his medical condition it was impossible!).

  4. Sparky, I would love to know what medical condition makes it impossible to defecate in public.

    Sometimes when you got to go, you got to go.

  5. I certainly have my fair collection of these photos as well. This is a fun game either way. Thanks for posting.

    Western Justice

  6. Additionally, I like to play, "Guess which juror will be the foreperson!" I am rarely right.

  7. Wow. those people all look entirely too happy to be getting mugshots taken. Then again, since I don't do criminal, most of my mug shots come from celebrity crimes or things I see in TV dramas.

  8. Really interesting post.

    And I went to that Guess My Crime site, and about hours of amusement...

  9. Heh, heh this cracks me up. I've done this too. What used to freak me out though was when the accused was on a murder charge and you'd never have guessed.