Saw It on the Internet

I got a weird call a few days ago from a totally random client, one who has never before called me with crazy talk.

He called and said, "I think I just need to go to court as soon as possible and plead guilty."

"We have a few weeks before we have to go to court, and you have a good case, why would you want to plead guilty now?"

"With everything going on, I think it's the right thing to do. I don't want to put anyone through anything more."

"What everything going on? What's going on?"

"You know, the news."

"Your case was in the news?"

"No, about Virginia Tech."

"Oh... because you're Asian?"

"Not just Asian. I'm Korean. He's Korean. I don't want the judge to be mad at me. I don't want to be a bother to anyone. I just need to plead guilty."

I finally talked him out of pleading guilty because he's Korean. But I was glad I had read THB's April 19th post so that I finally figured out where this was going.

Who says blog reading can't help you with your practice?

(And congrats to THB on her engagement!)

This I Know

I went to church this morning, and learned, to my great surprise, that I've had the lyrics to "Jesus Loves Me" wrong for about 25 years now.

I always thought that the song went:
Jesus Loves Me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so.
Little Ones who Hymn below,
they are weak but he is strong.

What does "who hymn below" mean? You know, that the kids are down on earth, singing and praising Him in Heaven.

But today, the little Sunday School kids sang
Jesus Loves Me, this I know
And the Bible tells me so.
Little Ones to Him belong,
They are weak but he is strong.

I looked it up in the Hymnal (yes, it was in the Hymnal, I was surprised too) and it read, "Little ones to Him belong." So I was wrong. I was, however, right about "for the Bible," it isn't "and the Bible tells me so."

Now I wonder weather someone taught me wrong, or whether I misheard the words all those times.

I also learned something about forgiveness, blah blah blah, so I guess I'm going to have to call my friend from the previous post and at least clear the air. I think that if I'm going to decide that she's not worthy of my friendship, that's fine, but it's not going to be over this one comment. Not that I'm in any rush to do it.

I spoke to my mother today, and told her the story, and she said, "Oh, you have to just call her and talk it out." And I said, "Well, yeah, I guess I just don't really feel like it." My mother said, "Then don't, screw her. You don't need her."

I had to laugh. You think, based on that, my mother forced me to go to school when I didn't "feel like it?"

Friends Don't Let Friends Be Bitches

A friend of mine said something really hurtful to me today. I wish I could tell you exactly what she said, because I know you would say, "Oooh, girl, she said that!?!" but it's impossible to give the whole set-up, but suffice it to say that she wasn't trying to be mean, she was being... thoughtless, probably... and anyone else, ever, who heard it would say, "I cannot believe she just said that." And she just kept blabbing on.

So, the way I see it, I have the choice of about 3 different courses of action.

1. Ignore it; pretend either I didn't hear it or it didn't bother me. And, in my head, write it off to, "She just didn't realize," or "She was just being insensitive."

2. Confront it. In whatever way. I could say something then and there, I could confront her privately later, I could write an email saying, "I was hurt when you said..."

or

3. I could just be mad, and not be her friend either (a) until I'm not mad anymore or (b) forever. Just, cut off ties.

So, what did I do?

Right then and there, as she said it, I said really calmly, "No, I don't think so," and got no further than that (and, truthfully, I was really trying to just wrap my head around what she had just said), and she just kept going, "No, it's true because..." So, um, no arguing with that, right?

I removed myself from the situation pretty quickly. I just didn't want to deal with it right then and there.

And, now, the more that I think about it, the more I feel like maybe I just don't want to deal with it ever. I confront people and argue for a living. Sometimes I just want a little peace in my life.

And I think, "Well, that's just her own issues that she's taking out on me, and that's just her own insensitivity." And then I think, "I just don't care."

I keep thinking, I have so many friends that I don't get to see enough, that I don't get to talk to enough, that I wish I had more time for, should I really put in such an effort to salvage a friendship with someone who can be so insensitive and just outright bitchy to me?

I guess I don't need to make a decision today. It's not like I'm going to call her tonight and say, "I'm not your friend anymore." Unless that's what y'all vote I should do. Let's hear it.

Bashful Lo Mein

In honor of THB's bravely revealing post, I'll share a vaguely embarrassing moment of my own.

I was interviewing a client today who is a delivery boy for a Chinese restaurant. It was key to the case that I understood where everything took place... where the restaurant was that he left from, where he had stopped to make deliveries, where he was headed with his next delivery, where he was stopped by the police, and where he was arrested.

At first, my delivery boy client was telling me the address of each thing. "I left from 1624 Main Street. My first delivery was at 6802 First St..."

I was trying my best to visualize where everything happened, but I just wasn't getting it. I told him, "I think I know the area, but I need you to give me some landmarks."

So, he was describing, "There's a pizza place, then there's a nail salon..."

All of the sudden, I got it. "Oh, is there a doctor's office right there?"

"Yeah," he told me, "Do you know it?"

"Sure," I told him, "I know that whole area. That's where I go to the doctor's."

"Oh yeah," he said, "That gynecologist's office. I deliver lunch there like once a week. Good tippers. So, that's where you go to the gynecologist?"

Um, what the heck was I supposed to say to that?

"Um, yeah." I'm positive that my face must have been bright red.

"That's good, they're nice. You should totally come for Chinese the next time you go to the gynecologist. I'll hook you up."

Um, yeah, totally. Because I really need to associate my yearly exam with my client and Chinese food.

I'm laughing just thinking about showing up at the Chinese restaurant saying, "Hey, is my client here? Can you tell him his lawyer is here? Oh, hey there, I just stopped by for some Kung Pao Chicken after my pap smear."

Women's Bracket Update

Well, the women's bracket season is over, and I finished 2nd. (Out of only 4 teams.)

Milbarge finished first, and it came down to the final game. Very exciting.

That's Not What Spiderman Says

It's going to sound crazy, but one of my favorite parts of the job is the mentally ill clients. No, seriously.

Sometimes their bizarre stories amuse me or brighten my day. I'm not saying that I sit and laugh at them, that would be insensitive, but it can be a nice little break from the usual client interview. And, most of the time, they don't have anyone to listen to them (and there are some lawyers who shut them up as soon as they get picture that the person is crazy), so I let them talk a little. And sometimes I think that it might help me uncover something about their mental illness or their crime. For example, a client who denies any mental health history might "accidentally" mention a doctor, or a hospital stay.

Every mentally ill client is different, every story is different, every delusion is different. But I love hearing them all.

One of my favorite things is that clients have these ideas, that they think are just so novel. Things that it must have really taken them some time to figure out.

Like a client today who took the time to explain to me, very carefully:

You have to be careful out here. There's a lot of dangerous things to watch out for. For example, let's say you're on the third floor of one building. And they tell you that you have to go the third floor of the building across the street. To get your medicine. Or for anything really. You would think it would be inefficient to go downstairs, then cross the street, then go back up the stairs. Inefficient means like wasting time. That doesn't make any sense. But you didn't know that you can't just jump across the street. It's too far. You saw it on the movies, people jumping on the buildings and across the street. But, in real life, you shouldn't even try. At least, I don't think so. Maybe if it was a close building. On a small street. Like a little one way street. And probably not from the window. You'd probably have to go up to the roof. But then you're climbing up more stairs, and then climbing down more stairs. So, that might be inefficient too. So you might need to jump from the window. I'm not sure...

Yeah, I love that.

I Got Sunshine, In a Bag.

Sooo... things have been a little weird here lately. About a week ago, I was feeling really unhappy. Like really unhappy. A lot of it seemed to be work unhappiness, but I couldn't decide whether I was just kind of generally unhappy and I was directing most of it toward work (since that takes up the majority of my life), or whether I was really unhappy with work. I had one case in particular that was causing so much anxiety I couldn't even sleep.

Then, this past week, the sun came out, spring started to spring, I won the case that was causing all of my anxiety. And then I won another case. And then I took the long way home around this beautiful lake. And I got some good news about someone I was worried about. And two of my friends had babies. And things seemed better.

Baseball season is here. Fantasy baseball is up and running. I'm planning my summer vacation. So, I'm doing good. I'm smiling.

I'm so happy, in fact, that I'm not even stressing about my overdrawn bank account. And I gave my last $2 away to a homeless man on the train yesterday. His shoes didn't fit, so he had to wear them with his heels sticking out the back. So, despite my overdrawn account, I knew he needed it more than I did. And I really respected the fact that he was collecting cans and not begging for money - it's hard work (and he was an old man), and it's good for the environment too.

Now I'm going to have a bring-my-own-PB&J-and-no-lattes week. Could be worse.

I'm useless, but not for long;
The future is coming on.