Christmas Buying Guide

There are a lot of blogs that feature holiday gift guides. They scouring the internet for great finds, and categorize them as "great gifts for your boss," or "for your roommate that you secretly don't really like" and "for the guy you just started dating, and you're not sure if it's going anywhere, and you're not sure if it's even worth it to get him a gift, but maybe you should have something on hand, in case he gives you something and you want to avoid an awkward moment..."

But I think they're all overlooking what is going to be one of the hottest gifts on everybody's wish list this year. I know it's on mine...

The book is called The 2007-2012 World Outlook for Bathroom Soap Dishes by Philip M. Parker.

It's only $795 and you can learn about soap dishes from around the world. For the next five years.

And it's paperback. So, it's portable. And, it's only 187 pages. So, it's a quick read.

And, that comes to only about $4.25 per page to learn about soap dishes from around the world. And five years into the future.

It's practically like buying a time machine. That can only bring you into the next five years. And only to look at soap dishes.

What more could you ask for?

(I seriously wonder if this could maybe be code for something. You know, like "I have the perfect cover business for our cocaine sales. We'll sell it as a book about... I don't know... soap dishes. No one would buy that. So, next time you want another $800 of cocaine, you just order that book of")

Don't forget to check out some of Phil's other publications...

The 2007-2012 World Outlook for Sailboats More Than 9.0 M (29.53 Ft) and Less Than 12.0 M (39.03 Ft) in Length with Auxiliary Motor Excluding Military and Commercial Sailboats, only $795 at,


The 2007-2012 World Outlook for Glace, Candied, and Crystallized Fruits, Fruit Peels, Nuts, Marshmallow Cream, Cough Drops Excluding Pharmaceutical Type, and Other Confectionery-Type Products (Paperback)
, also $795.

Or, for a real bargain, check out The 2007 Import and Export Market for Wine Made from Fresh Grapes or Grape Must in Poland for only $96, and only $2 used. (Who are these people? I actually considered buying the $2 used copy just to see if I could glean from it who the previous owner was, or why it was purchased in the first place.)

In summary, Santa, I'd like one of Philip M. Parker's bestsellers, or Elmo TMX eXtra Special Edition. Even though I can never figure out what he's saying.


  1. We got Elmo TMX for our 2.5 year old nieces last year. Supposedly during Christmas Day they got so freaked out by the things they got hidden away in the closet. Seems now they're into Elmo, so they're getting them as a gift all over again. Love short memories.

  2. I can just see some innocent soap-dish collector being so excited about the book and being dissapointed when the cocaine arrives. :-)