I was just wondering, do you remember what you did after your high school graduation? (I mean that night "after," not ever since "after.")
My school had some stupid rule that, in order to walk in graduation, you had to go to this all night anti-drinking after graduation party. And I know what you're thinking, how could they enforce that, since you had already graduated? They said they wouldn't release your diploma or your transcripts unless you went and stayed. Anyway, I'm concerned now because I don't really remember it at all. I just remember not liking it too much.
Maybe somebody spiked the punch. Don't look at me.
And I also remember that it was on a boat. And the only reason for that was probably so that we couldn't leave early. You'd have to be a really good swimmer. They probably just saved money on putting armed guards outside.
And, I could be wrong, but I think it was a relatively new thing, back then, that they were making grads go to these lame all-night parties. This was about 10 years ago. So I don't know if, before that, there was all sorts of after-graduation craziness going on. Drunk driving accidents or something. Probably not in my town. Cow tipping, maybe. I don't know.
When my little cousin graduated from high school, I bought him goldschlager. The gold flakes make it look kind of celebratory. And it seemed more appropriate for a guy that champagne, which can kind of seem girly. (Don't tell that to all the rap guys drinking Cristal.) Not that I advocate buying liquor for minors. You don't know, maybe he was 21. Some people take a long time to get through high school.
A few months ago, I went to my college roommate's bachelorette party. Her little sister, who was like my little sister all through college, said to me, "I remember when you used to buy me alcohol." I said, "I did?" (Don't worry, you can keep reading, the statute of limitations has passed.)
And she said, "Yeah, and you always told me, 'Some day, you can buy alcohol for someone else, just like someone else bought it for me.'"
And I knew she was right, because that's totally something I would say.
So, I had to ask, "Well, did you?" And she assured me that she did, complete with the pay-it-forward message I had given to her. See, it's just like I have my own little Haley Joel Osment thing going on.
And what good have you done for society lately?