Legally Blonde on Broadway

Are you ready for Legally Blonde on Broadway? You can check out the very pink costumes here in a video on the costume design.

Well, The Truth Is...

If you didn't yet read my previous post, 4 Things You Don't Know About Me, you should probably start there before reading this.

Done? Ok, then here's the truth to 4 Things You Don't Know About Me:

1. I broke my right wrist in 2nd grade, when I fell off the see-saw (or teeter-totter, whichever you prefer.)
Absolutely true. Some girl that was twice my size jumped off her end of the see-saw and I fell down and broke my wrist trying to brace my fall. The girl didn't even stick around to see if I was ok, and I had to walk all the way home, crying. It was 4th of July weekend. The thing that really pissed me off? A few weeks later, I was at the same playground, wearing my cast on my wrist, and she came over to me, real friendly, and said, "What happened to your wrist?"
Not one single commenter guessed that this was false. I guess you all already recognized the hidden dangers of see-saws.

2. I have never seen any Rocky movie.
Sure, I've seen the same clip a few hundred times (Someone in a bed saying something like "Do something for me - win," because they show it on the big screen at other sporting events, in an attempt to rally the fans), but I've never seen any more than that. No particular interest to, either.
Six commenters guessed incorrectly that this was false.

3. I am allergic to newsprint. It makes my fingertips itch and burns my throat and nose.
As strange as it may sound, this is absolutely true. All through school we'd have current events classes where we had to read the newspaper, and I always got special accommodations (usually, the teacher would have to photocopy the article for me). The worst thing is if I'm in an enclosed space, like a bus or something, and the person next to me starts reading a newspaper. Yuck. As a result, I'm more of a magazine reader, and I get all of my news online or from tv/radio.
Four commenters guessed incorrectly that this was false.

4. I don't know how to swim.
Blatantly untrue. I learned how to swim before I learned how to walk. I swam on swim teams, I've swam in every pond, lake, river, and ocean I could find. And, not only that, but I've mentioned swimming on the blog here and here.
Four commenters guessed correctly that this was the lie. And being able to know when someone is lying to you is an important trait. Congratulations to you.

5. I have eaten (and enjoyed) frog legs, escargot, and alligator. But not at the same time.
I may be telling a little too much about myself here, but one time, I was at the lake in my town (swimming, probably), when my father and I heard a big frog croaking. We went looking for it in the grass and finally found it. My father caught it under a bucket, and we took it home and took it straight to the porch where my father barbecued the frog legs. And I remember, clear as day, that we ate them right there on the porch, next to the grill. We didn't even wait to get them inside and onto a plate. And it was delicious. I also forgot to mention that I've also eaten grasshoppers. The actual insect, not just grasshopper brand cookies.
Not one commenter guessed that this was false. You all give me much more credit as an adventurous eater than I probably deserve.

So, there you have it. I hope you had as much fun with this as I did. Thank you to That Lawyer Dude (who still hasn't posted his answers!) for the inspiration. If you had so much fun that you want to do it again, check unblague's version or pseudostoops all-food version.

A Bias Crime

I have a client, who is... um... how should we say... "easily fired-up?" Today, I only had a minute to talk to him before we walked into the courtroom, so I said to him, "Listen. The judge is going to dismiss your case today. That's it, the case is going to be over. I just need you to come in, we'll see the judge, she'll say 'dismissed' and that will be it. All done. So, let's go."

My client really wanted to explain something more to me about the case. He just kept talking. And, I'm sorry, but the case was getting dismissed, so it really just didn't matter to me.

"Ok, ok, I got it. But your case is being dismissed. Let's just go get it done, and then if you have questions, you can ask me afterward."

And with that, I walked in to court, and let the judge know we were ready.

The entire procedure took about 3 seconds. The judge looked at me, looked at my client, looked down at the file, and said, "This case is dismissed with prejudice."

My client FLIPPED OUT.

"Prejudice? She saying I'm a racist? Prejudice? Are you serious? I've never been racist on no one! You can ask anyone who knows me! This judge be crazy!"

And there was nothing, nothing, nothing I could say to get him to stop so that I could explain what "with prejudice" means.

But, I'll admit, it was kind of fun to watch.

4 Things You Don't Know About Me

A meme (blame That Lawyer Dude) in which I post 5 things you don't know about me, but only 4 are true, and 1 is false. You guess which is false in the comments below. Then, if you choose to do the same on your blog, let me know and I will take a guess as to which is true or false on your blog.

Here goes...

1. I broke my right wrist in 2nd grade, when I fell off the see-saw (or teeter-totter, whichever you prefer.)

2. I have never seen any Rocky movie.

3. I am allergic to newsprint. It makes my fingertips itch and burns my throat and nose.

4. I don't know how to swim.

5. I have eaten (and enjoyed) frog legs, escargot, and alligator. But not at the same time.

In Malaysia

Dear Intern,

When I was in high school, there was a girl in my class who went on a trip through Girl Scouts to Malaysia. I think that her family struggled financially, and I'm sure that the trip was really an event-of-a-lifetime for her. I could imagine that she saw things that were so different, so enlightening for her, that she wanted to share everything that she had learned with everyone she met.

Which was why no one was surprised when she brought Malaysia up in conversation. But eventually it got annoying when every sentence, in every class, all day long, began with, "In Malaysia..."

It was a shame, because this poor girl was really never very popular to begin with, but eventually everyone was mocking her "in Malaysia."

And it's not like anyone had anything against Malaysia. None of us had ever even been there. But, I guess really no one wants to hear so much about any one place.

I mention this because... well, I hate to say it, but... no one really cares what you did when you "interned at the prosecutors office."

And, believe me, like the poor girl who went to Malaysia, I'm sure you saw some very different things when you "interned at the prosecutors office." But, um, I think some people are starting to get sick of hearing about when you "interned at the prosecutors office." Including me.

And it's not because I have anything against the prosecutors office. Just like I didn't have anything against Malaysia. Ok, well, maybe I have a little something against the prosecutors office. But, really, that's neither here nor there. Just stop saying it.

So, um, hope this helps.

Blonde Justice
(who interned at the public defenders office)

PDs: Bang For Your Buck?

Here's an interesting Op-Ed from the New York Times, Free-Market Justice.

Morris B. Hoffman is a Colorado state trial judge who cooperated with two economists to analyze whether defendants represented by private attorneys fare better than those represented by public defenders.

Are the results surprising? I guess you can decide for yourself.

Another conclusion was that criminal defendants are more likely to retain private attorneys when facing more serious charges. The economists conclude that defendants perform a cost-benefit analysis, and decide that it is worthwhile to hire an attorney when they are facing a long prison sentence, but not worth the money when they are facing probation or a relatively short sentence.

Interesting article, and I'd be interested in reading the full study. Check it out.

(Registration required. Or you could check out bugmenot.)

The envelope please...

And The Winners Are...

Thank you to everyone who voted for me in the 2006 Public Defender Blogger Awards "The Rodneys."

I truly feel honored to be voted "Best Blog By A Female Public Defender," "Best Personality," "Ms. Congeniality," and receive an Editor's Choice Award.

I know you can't see it from there, but right now, I'm doing that thing where I try not to cry by fanning at my eyes, and using the same hand to cover my mouth as I do the "I can't believe it!" face, just like I've been studying on the Miss America pageant for years.

This is even more special to me than when I was recently named Time's Person of the Year.

I promise to wear my sashes, tiaras and "World Peace" smile with pride, and not entangle myself in any naked-photo scandals.

Next year, I just hope the winners will be announced a little later in the day so that we can all get together pre-show and evaluate the red carpet outfits.

John David Has A Big Ol'...

Today I pretended that I knew something about football and talked to guys about the game.

"How about that guy Booty?" I asked.

"Yeah, he was good."

"Did the announcers say 'Booty is wide open?'"

"Um... no."

"Maybe they did, right? Maybe they said, 'Booty is wide open,' right? You don't know everything they said, do you?"

"Well, that wouldn't make any sense. Booty is a quarterback, he wouldn't be wide open."

"So, what you're saying is Booty was never wide open?"

"Ugh, just stop."

I also spent a lot of time thinking about women who might marry Booty and hyphenate their name. Let's see... do you think Jason Biggs has a sister?

Tell Me This Isn't Funny

I watched the Rose Bowl today. It turns out that, unlike the Rose Parade, the Rose Bowl has no roses. Not even anything rose colored.

Anyway, I watched the first few minutes, thinking that it might get rosier.

So in the beginning they had, interspersed with the game I guess, little clips of different players speaking about different things - where they're from, their interests, I don't know, whatever they wanted I guess.

One of the players was named John David Booty. Ok, first of all, "Booty" is just funny. I predict that his wife will never take his name. Matter of fact, the name "Booty" almost made it worth it to watch the game. You just have to use your imagination - the announcers were full of quotes like "Booty looking for the tight end." You can't beat that.

Then to make it even better, they had the little 30-second clip of Booty talking about himself. (Booty on Booty, right?) I'm paraphrasing but his clip went like this:

I'm John David Booty. I'm from Louisiana. My parents call me John David. My father's name is John. My name is John. It would've got confusing if my parents called us both John. Because we're both named John. So my parents call me John David. Because that's my name. My first name is John and my middle name is John David. So my parents call me John David. So that's what people call me. That's my name.

I watched a little longer, and whenever they mentioned John David Booty (which was a lot, apparently he's the major player), I kept thinking, "Gee, I wonder why they call him that. I wonder if they could get him to explain that a little further. Do they call him that because it's his name? I'm confused."

I was cracking myself up.

Ok, maybe you had to be there.