More Tech Advice Needed

Does anyone have one of those Palm Treos or a similar all-in-one phone device? I'm thinking about getting one the next time I upgrade my phone, since I carry around a phone and a Palm pilot already... and I thought the main drawback was that I wouldn't want to have to hold something that big under my ear, but in reality, I could just a headset or earpiece...

And I like being organized, and emailing and all of that.

And, I thought I wanted to blackberry, but I think maybe the Treo would be better.

So, anyone have any thoughts? Otherwise, I'll probably just go with the pink razr.

Lawyer Says He's Anna Nicole's Baby Daddy

I may be busy, but I'm not too busy to comment on the fact that Anna Nicole's Lawyer Says He's The Baby Daddy.

According to TMZ:
Attorney Howard K. Stern said on "Larry King Live" that he's the father of Anna Nicole's newborn baby.

The revelation sets up a potentially nasty paternity battle. Stern appeared Tuesday night on "Larry King Live" disclosing his belief that he is the father. The statement is in sharp contrast to comments by Larry Birkhead who has told TMZ in the past that he is the father. Birkhead has asked for a paternity test and it is unclear whether Anna Nicole will oblige.

Stern said on King's show that he has been in love with Anna Nicole for along [sic]time and hopes the feeling is mutual.

I'll admit, I used to watch the Anna Nicole show on E!.

And, as I watched it, I thought, "Well, for the lawyer, he sure spends a lot of time with her. I'm glad I don't spend that much time with my clients." But I thought maybe he was just one of those people who wants to be around celebrities. You know, like those sadistic people who sign up to be Naomi Campbell's personal assistant.

And, watching the show, there were times that I thought maybe he liked her. There were a few episodes where she was really sick or drugged or out of it, and he seemed to really care for her.

But, I also thought that if he was smart enough to be a lawyer, he was probably smart enough to see that she's a little mentally off-balance. (I suspect she's just a drug addict, but whatever the cause, she's definitely a little weird.)

Call me naive, but I never really thought he was shtupping the client.

And, as we all know, shtupping the client is the second biggest sin a lawyer can commit, just after stealing from his client.

Couldn't he have at least recused himself first? Referred her to another lawyer?

This whole thing is just too bizarre for me to wrap my head around.

In The Weeds

This may very well be the busiest week I've ever had in my little professional career. I am so exhausted, and I can't sleep because I have a constant to do list running through my head.

When the hell will the weekend get here???

Where'd Everybody Go?

Some weird things are going on around the internet. It's like I go on one very long Labor Day weekend extended vacation, and come back to find that the blawgosphere has gone nuts.

Audacity has moved, Alaskablawg is back, Monica of buzzwords and Fresh Pepper have packed it in, and Lammers of CrimLaw has apprently moved and started a new job, and it looks as though it may be... gasp... prosecutorial?

I hope to update my blogroll over the next few days. I've found a few good blogs to add, and there are some abandoned ones I need to take down (I have a one month rule).

If you want to send me any blogs or blawgs (legal or otherwise) that I may have been missing, I will gladly take them into consideration.

Sex Advice from . . .

I had been asked if I would participate in this article on Nerve.com - Sex Advice from . . . Public Defenders. Unfortunately it required a real name and photo, and when I out myself it's going to be a little more dramatic than that.

But, you should check out the article, which answers such burning questions as, "How can I pick up a Public Defender?"

...And (I have a feeling I'm going to regret this), if you have a burning question that you really need answered by Blonde Justice, go ahead and leave a comment or email me. I may decide to answer all of your questions. Or, I may decide to just read them and laugh at you. We'll see.

Gingerbread Condominium

not martha recently mentioned a display of gingerbread houses made by architects.

I have a group of friends that together every Christmas to make gingerbread houses. When I first heard about it, I thought "Gee, that will be fun." So, I went. And I was amazed at the array of building materials that they had assembled.

I sat down and started working on my gingerbread house. After an hour or so, I was pretty happy with the milk-carton-shaped house I had assembled and covered with pink gumdrops and pink frosting. I even made a pretty pink peppermint pathway leading up to the house.

Then I glanced up at my friends' gingerbread houses... or, um, actually, everything but houses. Eiffel towers, Frank Lloyd Wright designs with waterfalls running through them, Golden Gate bridges. Even the kids had designed beachfront luxury resorts that would make Paris Hilton jealous.

One of the women looked at my milk carton house, looked at me, and then said, with the straightest face, "Oh. We're all architects."

Um, yeah. Thanks for telling me now.

That was 2 years ago. A week or two later I was inspired (again by not martha) to someday make a gingerbread courtroom.

Yesterday I got my first Christmas catalog of the season in the mail. So, I'm thinking now is the time to start the blueprint phase of my gingerbread courtroom that is going to kick all of the architects' buttresses. (Me? Competitive? No, never.)

I'm picturing a "courtroom in Miracle on 34th Street (the original version)" theme.

Anyone know anything about architecture? Or blue prints? Or building? Or anything? You can leave the gumdrop sorting to me.

Best Search Terms

Some of my favorite search terms from Friday...

  • "Buying prostitutes avoid arrested" - I think they probably prefer the word "hiring." And the best way to avoid arrested is not to do it. C'mon, there's lots of nasty diseases (and worse) out there.

  • "Defense lawyer kills own client" - It's ok, I'm sure every defense lawyer has had those days.
  • "80's fashion, jellies shoes" - Maybe for a little kid, but no adult should be wearing jelly shoes. You know, "If you wore a trend the first time around, you shouldn't wear it the second time it comes back into style."
  • t - so glad to see my blog comes up in this important search.
  • "what does a police prosecutor do" - put people in jail (see next search term)
  • "tips to face da interview" - this is the most important search because I see that it didn't bring you to the post I had in mind. If you want my take on a DA interview, you should read this post. I only wish Legally Blonde still had the interview questions up. If anyone can remember them, or find a cached copy, let me know and maybe I can add them in the comments or something.
  • "parole 'girlfriends'" - this is just a weird search, I have no idea what you had in mind. Yes, people on parole can have girlfriends, but it would probably be best to limit the drama to one girlfriend per parolee. And don't hit them. Because that would probably just land you back in prison.
  • Fresh Pepper?

    Fresh Pepper has been abandoned. Maybe even Dooced.

    But, he's working on a book.

    Aaah, I love blogger book deals. It gives me hope that maybe someday I can make money off of this and quit my day job. Although, I probably wouldn't quit. But maybe I could at least pay off my student loans.

    A girl can dream.

    Brady Filing System

    I had to take one of my clients to the prosecutor's office today. That's right, he's snitching. But that's a subject for another day.

    My client and I arrived exactly on time for our meeting, and the prosecutor, in what I thought to be a possible power play, made us sit and wait over a half-hour to see him.

    I was thinking about when I was younger and I went on a tour of some big palace, where there was a grand, ostentatious entrance. The tour guide said that the purpose of the making the entrance so large and beautiful (even where the rest of the palace was not as ornate) was to humble visitors, and to show the wealth and power of the person living in the palace.

    I thought that if the prosecutor really wanted to seem important, he could have made us wait somewhere nicer than a dirty cramped little hall, just a few feet from the copy room.

    In fact, immediately next to the bench where my client and I sat was a very large shredder.

    But the half-hour wait proved to be just a little too short. Because it didn't give me enough time to decide between writing:

    "BRADY MACHINE" in the style of the copy room sign

    or, the less formal "BRADY GOES HERE" (with an arrow downward)


    on the wall above the Brady machine... uh, I mean, the shredder.

    One More Thing...

    Can I just tell you how happy I am that Fresh Pepper is back?

    Ok, now back to my day (or two, or weekend) off from blogging...

    (And feel free to continue to comment on this previous post. I am thinking about a possible follow-up next week.)

    Blonde Joke

    I'm taking a day off from blogging, so all you get from me today is a little blonde joke:

    A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section.

    The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

    The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot.

    The copilot comes over to the blonde and whispers in her ear. The blonde immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

    Bad Prosecutors Will Be Violated

    I have a lot to say about prosecutors today. If you read this blog, you know that I have mixed feelings about prosecutors. I'm friendly with some of them, I think they're good people, and I think we can respect each other in the sense of "I know you have a job to do, I have a job to do, let's see how we can both do our jobs to accomplish something good." And other prosecutors are dirty, they lie, they're all about the conviction at any cost, they have no concern for justice.

    In particular, one of the issues I struggle with is, especially with a prosecutor I don't know, how much to tell them about my case. Especially where my client has a good defense.

    Let me give you an example. Let's say a woman gets robbed. She's walking down the street and a man runs past and rips her iPod from her neck. She doesn't really get a chance to chase after him, and the robber gets away with her iPod.

    A week later, she's on the same street, when she sees a man and she is *positive* this is the man who stole her iPod. The police come and arrest him, right there on the street. He doesn't have an iPod on him, and the iPod is never recovered.

    I represent the accused robber, who swears he never robbed anyone. My investigator and I go out and speak to the victim. She tells me and my investigator that, at the time she called the police, she was positive that he was the right guy, but, now that she thought about it more, maybe she was just nervous being back on that same dangerous street, and maybe she was wrong. And, also, she says, "I'm almost positive that the robber had a scar over his left eye." My client most definitely does not have a scar on either eye.

    Now, if I know the prosecutor, and trust him or her, I could probably call and say, "Hey, listen, why don't you speak to your victim again. Take a look at it, investigate whatever you need to, and let me know what you think." Maybe I would even add, "Ask her about the eye scar." And I would trust that the prosecutor would look into it (by at least questioning the complainant more thoroughly), and if everything I have said adds up, would dismiss the case.

    I'm not saying that every case where my client has some sort of story should just be dismissed. But I think it is reasonable to expect a prosecutor to call his witness, ask some questions, and make an objective decision.

    On the other end of the spectrum, there are bad prosecutors. What would a bad prosecutor do? A bad prosecutor might say, "Oh, really, do you have proof that your client didn't have plastic surgery to repair a scar the week before he was arrested? Maybe that's what he did with the money he got from selling the stolen iPod."

    And then, an hour later, I'd get a call from the complainant saying things like, "The prosecutor said that if I called the police when I wasn't sure it was the right guy, I can be arrested for making a false report. He said I'd better say it was your client, unless I want to go to jail."

    Legal? Moral? Ethical? Maybe he's just seeing how well the complainant will stick to her story, judging her veracity. Maybe he's a prick, trying to intimidate an honest witness.

    If I don't know a prosecutor's reputation, I'll ask my colleagues what their experience has been with that particular prosecutor before I share any info. Prosecutors generally only get one shot at any kind of dishonesty or trickery with the lawyers in my office, so I hope that they think first and use it wisely.

    But what are the consequences, you might ask. I mean, how does it hurt a prosecutor to be distrusted by the public defender's office? So what if public defenders don't make deals with a prosecutor - isn't that a good thing? Doesn't that mean our clients sit and jail and the prosecutor gets a lot of trial experience?

    Sort of. But it also means that when we do come up with that gem on an investigation (like the unsure witness), he will never get a courtesy call. And then it comes out at the trial, in front of the jury - with absolutely no warning to the prosecutor. I've seen that happen a few times, and each time it was a very humbling experience for a very arrogant prosecutor.

    But it is sort of fun to watch. They don't see it coming and then BAM! it's like a train wreck! And who doesn't love a good BAM! moment in a trial?