Idio... Matic

Today's annoying client phone call came from a young woman who had a serious problem with her idioms.

"I'm just not going to go into court with my hands crossed, you know what I mean?"

"Um, no. Why would you cross your hands?"

"You know. I'm not going to go into this with my hands crossed. You know, my hands crossed."

"Um, ok, so anyway..."

Then later in the conversation:

"I didn't lie. I'm not going to bite my tongue. She's the one who is lying. She's going to have to bite her tongue."

"Um, no, I'm sure you're not lying, but..."

"Are you going to make her bite her tongue? She's lying. You're going to have to make her bite her tongue."

The conversation was full of these. I was so lost.

I tried so hard to stay in the conversation, but all I could think was, "No, lady, you bite your tongue when you try to hold back from saying something. You don't bite your tongue because you got caught lying."

And I have no idea what crossing your hands means. Maybe it means someone is talking about you. Oh, no, that's when your hands burn. Nevermind.

17 comments:

  1. Hands tied?

    Tongue-crossed is more like it!

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  2. I thought your ears burend when someone was talking about you.

    As for hands tied--you got me! Bondage/s&M maybe?

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  3. Hands tied or maybe fingers crossed (ya' know, behind her back, meaning she was lying)?

    But at least if there are any problems down the line you can honestly say that you could not communicate effectively with your client!

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  4. I had a client who didn't understand the purpose of metaphor.

    He said, "It's like this. It's like I'm a cookie. And the cookie doesn't want to be blind sided. You understand?"

    I said, "I think so."

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  5. well, not exactly a problem with idioms, but I had a woman come in the other day and say she could pay us when her son's 'suitcase' came in. She said he's actually got two 'suitcases'. I was wondering why she would be so upfront with the fact that her son has suitcases of money and where are these suitcases that she is so certain someone will bring them when they've got money in them.

    She meant lawsuits.

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  6. I have a crisp 5 DOLLAR BILL with your name on it IF you can manage to get whoever she is to bit her tongue. I have some change floating around too, just to sweeten the deal for you.

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  7. Ummm...I know it's bite and not bit. Big fingers, small keyboard.

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  8. I thought she meant she wasn't going into the courtroom with her fingers crossed. I didn't interpret it to mean she was lying with her fingers crossed, only that she wasn't going to court hoping for the best (and hence, crossing her fingers). If she was going to be lying while in court, she'd have a hard time doing that while biting her tongue.

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  9. May she thinks the settlements will come in big suitcases.

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  10. That's so funny :) I look forward to reading those line's in Blondie's novel.

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  11. I think she is going to go into court with her fingers crossed that things will go well!

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  12. I thought hands tied/crossed meant hands tied behind her back.

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  13. Tough one! Good posting though.

    Miss H

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  14. Ow! I just bit my tongue because my hands were crossed behind my back. I hate it when that happens.... .

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  15. How's this? My client's mom called her an "escape goat."

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  16. Oh my god, I love escape goat! Fantastic!

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  17. Maybe she wanted to take some action, not just sit on her hands. Or maybe she was worried that she didn't ahve very many options, and didn't want to go to court with her hands tied...

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