The Ominous Omnibus

My client has the worst case.

Anything incriminating you can imagine, this case has it. Fingerprints, DNA, video, eyewitnesses, written confession, videotaped confession, incriminating evidence in his pockets, in his home, in his red hands... you name it, they've got it.

Yet he's turned down offer after offer. He insists he wants to go to trial.

Yesterday, I went to see him. I don't want to force him into a plea, but he's going to regret passing up this final offer.

"No," he kept saying, "Let's go. I want my ominous hearing. Let's do my ominous hearing. When is my ominous hearing? Tell them I want my ominious hearing."

And all I can think is, "Damn right this hearing is going to be ominous."


  1. Sometimes I can see myself as a PD....and sometimes I can see myself in jail for strangling some future client. How do you not totally flip out on someone like that?

  2. Jeeze! For a minute there, I thought you were talking about ME! (Hee hee hee!!!)

  3. Even without legal training, somepeople seem incredibly astute about the law. They realize it is the prosecutors burden to prove them guilty beyond a reasonable doubt; they remain quite. Others take the Edopus path trying to clear their conscience and take reasponsibity. Some just want to be the police's friend and help them, so they hope the police will be nice back. When people ask me what to do; I say, "remain quite and ask for a lawyer." At least the Sup Ct hasn't taken that right away yet!

  4. I've been there. Just wait until he blames you for his long sentence!

    I often say that my clients are the bane of my life, and yet the people I live for.

  5. "This job would be great if it weren't for the f**king customers."

    Applicable to clients as well.