I got together with a few of my cousins this past weekend. (We're all girls, there are no boys to "carry on the family name.")
One of my cousins is 35. We'll call her "Nelly." Nelly got married about 2 years ago, and had a baby about a year ago.
What's the nicest way to say this about Nelly . . . She's immature. (Yes, that's the nicest way to say it.) She married this guy that everyone in our family hates (and I think she might hate him too), because she was in a hurry to have a baby. Why? Because her older sister (let's call her "Kerry") has a baby, and Nelly was upset that Kerry and her baby were getting so much attention. So, I guess Nelly decided that she needed to have a baby too. (Yes, a good reason, I know.)
So Nelly married this guy, who has been her underachieving boyfriend for years. Underacheiving is a bit of an understatement. The best thing I can say about him is probably that he can drink a lot of beer. If you ever have trouble finishing a keg after a party, he's your man. Hey, but you have to have things to be proud of, right?
And he just looks worse in comparison. When Kerry met her husband, we all hated him. There's nothing particularly bad about him, he just doesn't have much of a personality, so we thought Kerry could do better. Now that Nelly married a total loser, we all find ourselves saying things like, "Wow, we used to hate Kerry's husband - but at least he has a job!"
So, I got together with a bunch of my cousins this weekend, including Nelly. Nelly brought a giant envelope full of hundreds of pictures of the baby. (FYI, the baby was there. It wasn't like we needed pictures to see what he looks like or anything.)
Everyone took a turn flipping through the photos and saying "Oooh, he's so cute." (I don't get it! He's right there! If you want to see him be cute, turn towards him and pay attention to him!) Finally, it was my turn.
I started flipping through the photos, and it only took me a few seconds to realize... hey, there's something weird about these photos...
The first one, baby in a little baby chair thing. In the background, a case of Coors Light.
Next picture, baby on a beach. In the background, a case of Budweiser.
Next picture, my cousin's husband that we all hate, baby in one hand, Corona in the other.
Next picture, baby in the pool with Mommy, Mommy holding a Molson.
This continued for 100 photos.
Are babies the newest drinking accessory? Do they maybe think they can submit these photos somewhere, and get the kid a job in beer ads? Or, is parenting really so bad, they always need a drink?
But, most importantly, how hard is it to do what people have done for centuries (or, ok, at least decades) and hold the beer bottle behind your back - or even behind your kid - when the camera points your way? I mean, seriously, frat boys hold their beers up to the camera, mommies and daddies don't.