I have a casual acquaintance who is, for lack of a better term, a know-it-all. In the worst possible way.
She's planning on going to law school in the fall. Which is appropriate.
Every law school class needs a few people like her. I wonder if there's a special box she checked on her law school application so that the schools could easily evaluate her and say, "Oh good, the ultimate know-it-all. We need one more if we want one for each small section."
I only wish that she could have started law school with Russ and Mike because I'd love to see her profiled in one of their "The People You Meet In Law School" posts. (I think she's almost a "Lucy," but more like a less intelligent Lucy wannabe; she's almost a gunner, but probably much less helpful.)
Because the worst thing about all of the things she knows is that she's almost always wrong.
Every time I see her she tells me all about law school. She tells me which schools are most prestigious. (As if I need to her to recite to me the listings she's memorized from U.S. News.)
She tells me how law school is going to be really easy for her, because she went to a really prestigious undergrad. (Yes, just keeping telling that to your classmates. They'll love to hear about that almost as much as they'll love hearing about your LSAT score. And your SATs.)
A few nights ago, she decided to tell me which schools are "really good" in public interest. And there's no way to tell her she's wrong.
I tried to explain, "Well, I work in public interest, I know a lot of people in public interest, and I don't really know anyone who went to that school. I'm not saying that you can't go there and do public interest, I'm just saying it's probably a stretch to call them 'really good in public interest.' If you're really interested in public interest, what about (naming some of the schools my colleagues went to)... "
"No, they are really good. It said so on their website."
What could I really say besides, "Oh, ok, well if it says it on their website?"
I was frustrated with her, and I just gave up. There's just no telling her anything.
But then, yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me. The perfect legal job for the know-it-all. She'd fit in perfectly at the prosecutor's office.