Know It All

I have a casual acquaintance who is, for lack of a better term, a know-it-all. In the worst possible way.

She's planning on going to law school in the fall. Which is appropriate.

Every law school class needs a few people like her. I wonder if there's a special box she checked on her law school application so that the schools could easily evaluate her and say, "Oh good, the ultimate know-it-all. We need one more if we want one for each small section."

I only wish that she could have started law school with Russ and Mike because I'd love to see her profiled in one of their "The People You Meet In Law School" posts. (I think she's almost a "Lucy," but more like a less intelligent Lucy wannabe; she's almost a gunner, but probably much less helpful.)

Because the worst thing about all of the things she knows is that she's almost always wrong.

Every time I see her she tells me all about law school. She tells me which schools are most prestigious. (As if I need to her to recite to me the listings she's memorized from U.S. News.)

She tells me how law school is going to be really easy for her, because she went to a really prestigious undergrad. (Yes, just keeping telling that to your classmates. They'll love to hear about that almost as much as they'll love hearing about your LSAT score. And your SATs.)

A few nights ago, she decided to tell me which schools are "really good" in public interest. And there's no way to tell her she's wrong.

I tried to explain, "Well, I work in public interest, I know a lot of people in public interest, and I don't really know anyone who went to that school. I'm not saying that you can't go there and do public interest, I'm just saying it's probably a stretch to call them 'really good in public interest.' If you're really interested in public interest, what about (naming some of the schools my colleagues went to)... "

"No, they are really good. It said so on their website."

What could I really say besides, "Oh, ok, well if it says it on their website?"

I was frustrated with her, and I just gave up. There's just no telling her anything.

But then, yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me. The perfect legal job for the know-it-all. She'd fit in perfectly at the prosecutor's office.


  1. So what schools would you say are good for public interest?

    I am currently looking at schools, so I would be interested in what you think.

  2. Do you ever catch yourself acting like "Prosecuter Patty" in the post? Not intentionally. You just share your thoughts on something you read, or whatever. Not meaning to be uppity about it or anything. You get a "conspiracy theorist" look and realize that right then at that very moment, someone is considering you "out there?" Is the reasonable thing to just ask, "Doesn't anyone read anymore?"

    Then there are us mere mortals who just get downright giddy to be considered by a school, any law school. Some are destined for life to perpetually get in the way. One likes to think in spite of it all advocacy triumphs.

    Now that you've waded through the set-up, ask yourself if you've been giving out more than your share of "conspiracy theorist" glares lately? Maybe you should curl up with a book next wknd. Not necessarioy a good book. Just a book.

    Maybe not.

    Angel Factor

    soon to be found at the blog known as: but not very soon.

  3. I hated those law school know-it-all's. There was one in my class who would quote the Federalist papers at length. It was supremely nauseating. Lucky for us our professors were experts at shooting down know-it-all's.

    And yes, sounds just like a prosecutor to me. ;)

  4. they talk a lot first semester but mysteriously shut up the second after grades come out....hmm....interesting, dontcha think?

  5. According to the blog quiz (and who dares dispute THE BLOG QUIZ
    ;- ) "know-it-alls" are my pet peeve.
    Law school know-it-alls have to rank at the top of that heap. Sounds like she is ready to climb.

  6. Not that you are bitter or anything. ;)