Who Needs A Pick-Up Line When You Have a Big Mac?

I was asked on a date yesterday. By a 3-year-old.

"Excuse me," he said, with near perfect delivery, "Would you like to have a date? We could go to the movies."

Really, how could I say no to that? He's got a better approach than most grown men I know. "Hmmm, I guess we'll have to ask your mom if it's ok. But what movie could we see?"

"NO SCARY MOVIES!" he pretty much shouted. (Ok, the shouting thing is going to be a problem if this relationship gets serious.) But he immediately made a suggestion, "How about... Curious George?"

(Guys, take a hint from this 3-year-old. No girl wants to go on the "I don't know, what do you want to do?" date.)

"Curious George sounds good. We'll have to find out if it's still playing anywhere. Do you know how to use that Fandango thing?"

He just stared at me blankly. Obviously 3-year-olds are not Fandango's target audience, despite their little paper bag puppet customers ads. "Mommy said McDonalds is bad, but I can have it if we go on a date."

I started to worry that maybe this kid was a little too much of a Momma's boy for me. Do I really want to date someone who lets his "mommy" choose where we go to eat?

I saw his mother a few minutes later and let her know, "Your son asked me on a date."

"Oh, yeah, he's looking for a date. He went on a date with a little girl from his preschool class. They saw a movie and went to McDonalds. I won't take him to McDonalds but now he thinks if he can get another date, he can go back to McDonalds."

I've never felt so used before.

11 comments:

  1. Great post.

    AS a father of a 7 year old and a 4 year old, I know what it going on.

    My kids saw Supersize Me. We only have to remind them of the movie and they do not want McDonalds or another fast food place, because it "makes them fat."

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  2. Fabulous post. Sorry you felt used by a 3 yr old male, but I suppose he is getting his practice in now. Not that that excuses him in anyway...

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  3. OMG! Sooo cute. Great insight into the male mind- "ok, if I get a date, I can have McDonalds..." Of course, when he's 16 and trying to have sex, its not going to be so cute... but still. Great story.

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  4. McDonald's, sex, what's the diff? I do give the little guy props because he had a plan and was willing to stick to it.

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  5. Hmmm..that's the trouble with today's youth. All trying to grow up way too fast!

    "When I was 3 years old...all I was worried about was eating my Legos...and that's the way it was! And we liked it!!"

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  6. You been played like a fiddle. You tripped and sang like a canary to his mother. Shame on you for ratting out a playa. How's that gonna look when his homies find out about it? His life in preschool is done.

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  7. Sounds kind of fishy. Lot of similarities with that incident involing the Florida teacher and the 14 year old kid. Hmmmm??

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  8. Hmmm . . . Y'know, I knew there was some reason to go on dates and spend money on women - I can eat fast food without feeling guilty. Of course, my question is does this only apply to blonde women?

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  9. Truly one of the best posts I have ever read. Thanks Blondie it was just the laugh I needed.

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  10. good reading. nice to be back here.

    Interpreter.

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  11. Okay, it's pathetic, but most of the men I've dated in the past 6 years could learn a thing or two from this little guy!

    1. Ask politely and directly.

    2. Have a plan.

    3. Expect nothing more than dinner and a movie.

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