Reading Woman of the Law's two most recent posts (here and here), I was reminded of a recent arraignment experience...
Not too long ago, I interviewed a client who had been arrested for driving while intoxicated. Sometimes the drunk driving clients are either still a little drunk or a little hungover when I first meet them. On top of that, English wasn't his first language, but he insisted that he did not need an interpreter. It wasn't much of a language barrier, but when taken together with a little bit of slurred speech, it made it that much more difficult to get through my usual questions:
"Where were you coming from?"
"A family event... A party. Dinner. Dinner."
"How many drinks did you have?"
"Two. Maybe three. Three."
"What kind of drinks did you have?"
"Um... you know... you know... what you drink with... you know... fish."
Really? Not only am I providing free legal services now, I also have to provide food and wine pairings?
"Hi, I'm Blonde Justice, I'm a lawyer from the public defenders office. I'm going to be your lawyer and sommelier today... would you like me to suggest a wine to go with your complimentary bologna sandwich?"
I was in too good of a mood. I had to play along.
"Maybe a Sauvignon blanc? But I guess it really depends... what type of fish? Salmon? Tuna? Swordfish? It's hard to go wrong with a Riesling. How was it prepared? Fried? Grilled? In any type of sauce? Because that's going to effect my recommendation..."
I don't even know if my client was listening or not, but suddenly he interrupted, "Wine! That's right! Wine. Wine. That's what it's called."