The Bag Says It All

I found this great bag via Inter Alia.

Wow, it's like all of the sudden, Cafe Press is everywhere. But I thought this bag was particularly relevant.

Google SMS

I'm sorry, but I cannot emphasize just how useful Google SMS is going to be.

No more calling my boyfriend from the backseat of a cab that can't find my house, in the middle of the night, on a really sketchy street and saying, "If I read you the names of the next street intersection, could you google it and give the cab driver directions home?"

Wow, that will be fantastic. Thank you Chelsea Peretti for showing me the (new) way. This may just be the piece of technology that changes my life.

Friday Spies

As usual, brought to you on a Saturday, by the boys of BTQ.

1. What five things should you never buy used? Underwear, a diaphragm, condoms, bubble gum, and... hmmm... one more... toilet paper. Yuck!

2. Sony BMG just ended a payola investigation by settling with New York Attorney General Elliot Spitzer. So let's engage in some reverse payola: What song or artist would you pay to never have to hear again, and how much would it be worth to you? I'd pay to never have to hear any song by Avril Levine again. And, as broke as I am, I think I'd part with $50 pretty easily.

3. In honor of the new Bad News Bears: Did you ever play little league, or other organized youth sports? Not little league, but I played "Munchkin' League Soccer." All that I can really remember of it, is that I think that maybe one time I kicked the ball into the wrong goal. I never really did get the hang of switching sides of the field halfway through the game.

4. What was your biggest fashion faux pas? Well, as a child of the '80s, I'm sure there were many. But the one that comes to mind is that I really wanted those so cool sweatshirts that hang off your shoulder, ala Footloose. I was too young to buy my own clothes, and not gusty enough to cut up my own sweatshirts, so I remember walking around one day with a regular sweatshirt pulled down on one shoulder. It wasn't just me, all of my friends did that. Not that that mitigates my behavior or anything.

5. In honor of all our readers who took the Bar Exam this week: What was the hardest test you ever took? The bar, of course. And I will never ever have to take another test as hard as that again. Isn't that a great thing to be able to say?

The Law Firm

A few people have asked whether I'm going to watch The Law Firm, whether I'm going to recap The Law Firm, etc.

I did miss the first episode on Thursday night, but it looks like Bravo (aka the NBC rerun network) will be showing it again almost every day this week. So, I will get to see it.

And then I'll decide what I think and whether I want to recap it. I'm not sure that I'll like it. First, I don't really like The Apprentice, and I'm afraid that it will be like The Apprentice for Lawyers. And, also, I know this is going to sound bad, and I'm sorry, but I don't really like lawyers. No, seriously. Well, I like criminal defense lawyers, of course. But I feel like we're a whole different breed of lawyer. And I guess I probably like most public interest lawyers in general. And I have a few friends that are lawyers, and I like them as friends but I probably wouldn't want to watch a TV show about their work. For example, people who could spend all day with people who are quibbling about what they get to keep in the divorce? Not to knock divorce lawyers, but that holds no interest for me. That's not "the law." I mean, when was the last time the Supreme Court reviewed a divorce case? Never. Know why? Because even they appreciate that there are just no interesting issues there. Same goes with contracts disputes. And slip and falls. And even most car accidents.

(Unless, of course, drunk driving was a suspected cause. Then it gets interesting.)

I'll give you another example. A year or two ago, I went to a thing (let's just leave it at "a thing") where there were a lot of young lawyers. It didn't take me long to realize that they were all probably horrible people. Or, even if they were alright people, they were certainly not people I'd want to be friends with. They were all bragging about their billable hours and using their cell phones to call and shout at their paralegals. Yick. I looked around and tried to find another criminal defense lawyer - or even a prosecutor, at least we'd be in the same tax bracket and have something in common to talk about - but there were none there. In the end, I felt pretty ashamed of our crappy profession and just, well, embarassed for these young people who were so young and already so arrogant. They were so arrogant and they had probably never even met one single client of their firm, because they probably spend all day doing document review or something, let alone help someone. It was sad.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, The Law Firm. Ok, I'm not saying I have to like a show to recap it. Because, it was weird, I sort of liked Beauty & The Geek, but it was also sort of the It's-terrible-but-I-can't-look-away-phenomenon, like driving past a car wreck. But, there's a difference between that and just downright annoyance.

Point is, I'll watch an episode of The Law Firm, but I can't promise anything more than that. Good? Good.

Jury Duty Boredom

Chelsea Peretti's posts about jury duty had me cracking up.

(Pre-duty, Thursday, and Monday)

Then a desk guy got on the mic and started listing off information. Never have I so wished I'd been convicted of a prior felony (INSTANT DQ, FELONS! WAY TO THINK AHEAD.).

Oh man, you have to read this. (Not to boss you around, or anything, of course.)

Podcast Recommendations, Anyone?

That's right. I am now entering the digital age. Or the MP3 age. Or whatever you want to call it.

Point is, I figured out something about podcasts. I downloaded iPodder, and now I'm trying to fill up my little player.

So, now, does anyone have any good suggestions of podcasts to which I should subscribe?

Don't worry, I already set it up to download AmbImb and E.Spat's podcasts. That was the first order of business! (Although it just says "Queued" not "Downloading," what's up with that???)

Any other suggestions?

Blawgers: Consent to Bag Search?

It's all over the news (and even on Crimlaw), so I think that we might as well open it up for discussion.

If your route to work involved a bag search, would you consent to the search?

I certainly think there's something to be said for saying no and doing your little part to preserve the Constitution.

But, on the other hand, like everyone else, I care about safety too. I mean, personally, I'd feel more comfortable flying if we had the kind of security that El Al has (and has had for a long time).

If my daily commute were to put me at risk for a bag search, I still wouldn't worry too much... I don't think too many young, blonde women are going to be searched. But, if they are, I would expect that it's just a cover so that the suspicious or minority person behind her can be searched too. And, would I want to be used like that?

In law school, I did a street law program, where the number two thing we tried to teach the kids was "DON'T CONSENT TO SEARCHES!" (Number one was, of course, "DON'T TALK TO THE POLICE!"). Does that not matter anymore?

And, as far as the argument of "If you don't have anything to hide, there's nothing wrong with it," I hope that I don't even have to try to explain the slippery slope argument that is opened up by this.

So, anyone else want to weigh in? How about all of you law students? Would you hand over your bag? What if your other alternative is just... well... not going to work? Or being hours late? (Although, seriously, I think that, at least at a public defender's office, you should be able to call in sick-of-having-my-civil-liberties-violated.)

Hungry Eyes

As a kid, I was a big Dirty Dancing fan. As were most girls my age, I suspect.

And to you yungins out there, I'm talking about the REAL Dirty Dancing, with Baby and Johnny, not any of that Havana Nights crap.

Believe it or not, it wasn't until years later that I realized that I just hadn't gotten so many things in that movie. I remember re-watching it in college (on one of the millions of times it aired on TBS or TNT or whatever), and then running into a friend's dorm room during a commercial break and saying, "Did you know there was an abortion in Dirty Dancing?" Yeah, I guess I was a naive kid.

But I was mostly watching it for the dancing. Seriously.

When I was a kid, it was also very important to have the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. (On a cassette, so you could listen to it on the bus, of course.)

One girl, who was REALLY cool, actually had the tape called More Dirty Dancing. I'll admit, I wasn't cool enough to have that tape, but I was friends with her, so at least I got to borrow it.

But the original soundtrack was better anyway.

Where was I going with this? Oh, I know. Tonight, I happened to hear the song "Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen (which was on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, of course).

And, all of the sudden, I clearly remembered a conversation in which I asked my aunt, "What does that mean... Hungry Eyes? How can your eyes be hungry?"

And instead of making up some bullshit answer, she gave me the, "I'll explain it when you get older." Which, of course, only made me more curious. (She just should've been glad I didn't ask what the whole abortion scene was about!)

I remember that I spent the whole day thinking about how your eyes could be hungry. I remembered that sometimes my eyes got dry from swimming so much and I had to get eye drops. Could that have something to do with it? Like, his eyes were hungry for eyedrops? Nah, that'd be more like "Thirsty Eyes," right? Or, maybe it had something to do with what my mother would sometimes say about "Her eyes are bigger than her stomach?" I swear, I spent a whole day thinking about it.

And then, just as my aunt probably hoped, I forgot all about it. Until tonight.

How funny would it be if I called her right now and said, "Remember when you told me that someday you'd explain what 'Hungry Eyes' meant? I'm ready to hear it." Ha!

But I won't. Because she probably wouldn't even remember what I was talking about. Or, maybe she'd say, "Ok, while we're on the subject of things that happened when you were a kid, how about when I caught you drawing on my walls?" and then I'd probably get stuck repainting her house or some crap. So, nevermind.

Scholarships For Virgins

Did anyone else catch this news story?

Uganda Lawmaker Offers Scholarships To Virgin Girls

Interesting. The article says the scholarship offer will help to prevent the spread of AIDS and promote education.

But, I wonder... why only girls? Are they solely responsible for the spread of AIDS?

And, I worry about this part:
Girls who want to take advantage of the virginity scholarships will have to agree to medical exams to confirm their chaste status.

That's pretty invasive, just to qualify for a scholarship, isn't it? Whatever happened to essay contests?

Also, I seem to remember something from sex ed or something that it's impossible to know definitively if a girl is a virgin just by a medical exam. And, what about rape and incest victims, they're not entitled to this offer? And born again virgins?

So, obviously, there are a few a kinks to work out... but it's an interesting offer to be sure.

Gone Fishing

It was a hot summer day when two blonde friends decided to head down to the lake to cool off.

At the lake, they found a man renting little fishing boats and everything else they'd need to get started... reels, rods, and selling bait and beer.

So, the blondes rented a boat, and putted out into the middle of the lake. They fished for a while, but didn't get so much as a nibble.

They decided that maybe they should try another spot on the lake. So they putted in this direction, and fished a little longer. Still, nothing.

They putted over in another direction, and fished a while longer. Still, nothing.

Finally, in the fourth spot, it all came together. The blondes each caught a fish of their own, and really started to have a good time.

Dusk was approaching, so they decided, eventually, to call it a day. But they thought that maybe, since they'd had so much fun, they'd like to come back out tomorrow and do it again.

"But how will we find our lucky spot again?" one blonde asked.

"Easy," the other blonde responded. And, with that, she got out a pen and drew an X on the boat where each woman had caught their fish.

"Perfect!" the first blonde said, "Now, we just have to make sure we get the same boat!"

Friday Spies

Quick, while it's still Saturday. As always, brought to you by the boys of BTQ.

1. Why did you start blogging? I've actually had a blog or 2 before this one. (1 was way before the word "blog" was even invented.) And, I guess the point was so that my friends could know what was going on in my life. Kind of a "keeping in touch" thing, in place of sending out bulk emails that said "I got into law school!" or whatever else was going on. At some point, I realized I wanted to blog about my job the most, but didn't think I could really do it on a non-anonymous blog. So, I created Blonde Justice. Aren't ya' glad?

2. Are the reasons you blog now the same as when you started? If not, what's changed? Well, no. Pretty much none of my friends know about this blog. So, keeping in touch is definitely not the reason I blog now. Now, it's sort of venting, and it keeps me entertained. Lately, I haven't felt too entertaining, so I've been kind of slacking, but my intent is to at least keep posting somewhat regularly and see if I feel more into it in a few weeks. And my other reason for blogging is that I enjoy writing it and I hope that it keeps some other people entertained too.

3. What would make blogging better for you? Blogging would be better if I could stop worrying about staying anonymous. There are a lot of times when I think, "Oh, I need to blog about..." but there's just no way for it to be anonymous enough. Like, If I'm on trial. You might notice a decline in posts. But you don't know if it's because I'm on vacation, or I'm sick, or what. And, I guess I could write "Yeah, I'm on trial, drug sale, blah blah blah..." and I wouldn't worry that any of my regular readers would think, "Ok, how I can use this to narrow it down? How many young blonde lawyers in big cities were on trial with drug sales this week? And now her imood says she's happy, so maybe she won?" I'm not worried about my readers stalking me, I'm more worried that either a colleague or an adversary stumbles upon this and says, "Hey, I know someone who won a drug sale trial last week... and, hey... what's it say for this week? She's on vacation? Hey, the person that I know who won the drug sale trial last week is on vacation this week! Hey, I think I know who this is!" Whatever, maybe I'm just paranoid. But better safe than sorry.

4. Do you have comments on your blog? Why or why not? Do you comment on other blogs? What motivates you to post a comment? I have comments on my blog. Sometimes I think about removing them or at least getting rid of anonymous commenting. I'm in favor of an open discussion in the comments but I know that sometimes people leave flame-type comments just for the sake of being an asshole, and that bugs me. I suppose I could delete them, but then I wonder if that gives them some additional satisfaction.

I do comment on other people's blogs. Why? Because I have something to say, or I just want them to know someone relates, or read what they wrote, or whatever. But usually just when I have something to say.

5. What is your philosophy of the blogroll? Eh. I try to make it blogs I want to read the most. On that list of 40 blogs, there's maybe 10 I check on a daily or near-daily basis. The rest I check maybe weekly or every-other-week. I guess, theoretically, I could edit it down to the top 10, but there are times when I want to check out the others. A few times people have emailed me or specifically asked for a link. I don't usually do it just because someone asked or because someone linked to me. Generally, I have to like to read what I'm linking. But, on the other hand, I don't want to be "mean" and not link to someone who asked for it.

I also have a folder in my favorites of blogs that I've found that link to me. My intention is that I'll keep an eye on these blogs for a few weeks, and if I like them, maybe I'll add a link. It's hard, though, because I don't update my blogroll as much as I should, and sometimes people start a blog and abandon it before I even get around to adding the link.

And, finally, on that note, I try to have a one-month rule. If you haven't updated your blog in a month, you're kicked off my blogroll (or, at least, you will be, the next time I update it.) If and when you return, I'll re-add you. But, if the point of a blogroll is to have a list of blogs that I read, I don't want to keep clicking on a blog that hasn't been updated in forever. And, although the * next to newly updated blogs sometimes work, it doesn't always.

Beauty & The Geek: The Aftermath

And, without further ado, my final B&TG recap. I tried to put it off for as long as possible, but it's finally time, so here we go...

The set is a kind of like the Real World reunion shows, if you've ever seen one of those. 2 big sofas for the cast, a big screen for showing clips, and an audience on bleachers all around them.

In the introduction, the host says that "Tonight, we'll get the true story from the 7 beautiful women, and the 7 brilliant men who were part of television's greatest social experiment." Are you ready? And then they introduce the cast...

Cheryl
Erica & Joe
Krystal & Brad
Lauren & Bill
Scarlet & Shawn
Mindi & Richard
and the winners...
Caitilin & Chuck

Wait a minute, let me go back and count. 7 beautiful women? Yup. 7 brilliant men? Wait. I only count 6. Who's missing? Eric, the computer programmer. Well, let's watch, maybe they'll tell us where he is.

So, the host, Brian Seacrest or whatever his name is, asks a question to each cast member. Like, "Caitilin, did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?" and "Lauren, party girl, do you chew bubblegum 24/7?"

And Lauren responds, "I know, I'm like Seacrest out, and I'm like 'Peace Love and Bubblegum' because I chew bubblegum a lot." Um, don't really know what she said, but ok. The host guy doesn't get it either, so she repeats it. Still... um, ok.

Let me say now that this "Aftermath" show is going to be hard to recap because there's not any sort of plot to it, and I don't want to just end up writing a transcript of the show, because it's going to end up long enough as it is. But I'll try to give you a few final highlights to wrap it all up.

We see a few of the castmembers in their interview tapes. Krystal: "Well, I like everything that is expensive." Lauren: "I'd say my IQ is probably about 500."

We see clips of the castmembers first introducing themselves to each other.

Clips of the castmembers choosing their rooms. (And the excitement or disappointment of finding out they'll be sharing beds.)

Clips of the big hottub party on the first night. Shawn can't believe his luck.

Clip of Chuck's first nosebleed. Hey, remember when Chuck used to get nosebleeds? Yeah, I had kind of forgotten about that too. Chuck says, "I think its all the smoke in my room, it kind of dried out the mucous..." Hey, now that I think about it, I never saw any of the castmembers smoking, but I assume that he's saying that Caitilin smokes. Interesting.

Mindi trying to show Richard how to give a massage, and Richard shouting "Ouch! That hurts!"

The host talks to Joe, and how cute it is that he blushes so much. The host guy (how did this host get to become such a big focus, and I don't even know his name???) says that the women in his family all love Joe. The audience claps and "Whoo!"s in, presumably, agreement. I gotta admit, I thought Joe was pretty cute. Too cute to be a "geek" anyway.

Host: Erika, why did you choose Joe as your partner?
Erika: He looks like my little brother! He's so cute, it's like, wer'e both blonde, and he's pale, and I was like, this kid is like my little brother.

At this point, Richard chimes in, "I'm sure that exactly what Joe wants to hear!"

And this is the first time we've heard from Richard. But, believe me, it won't be the last. NO ONE WAS TALKING TO YOU!

Joe says, "After we got eliminated, we went out, and at every bar we went to, guys would come and hit on Erika. And she would tell them that we were brother and sister, so every time they bought her a drink, they'd have to buy me a drink too."

At first, I thought he was saying that after they got eliminated, they dated. But I guess not. I wonder if this is one of those things like they couldn't go home after they were eliminated so they all had to hang out together somewhere. Or, maybe they just kept in touch after the show - but for what? So he could tag along when she went to bars to pick up guys (or be picked up by guys)? They don't really explain.

The audience gets to ask questions.

One guy asks, "I got a question for Bill. Um, being the vice president of the Dukes of Hazard fan club, I really want to know how that helps you out with the ladies."

Um, you mean, aside from the fact that Bill, with his new less-hetero look, is now a pretty attractive guy?

Bill responds, "I just got done judging a Daisy Dukes contest."

Well, that answered that, didn't it?

At the commercial breaks, they had these little polls that were nowhere nearly as funny or clever as my polls. For example, the first one asks, "Which would you rather be? Beauty or Geek?" I guess they're presuming it's impossible to be both. Most people choose "Beauty" and I guess it's easier to get around in this world when you're beautiful, and geek implies not just unattractiveness but also a certain social ineptitude that could be a downfall (e.g. Richard). But, whatever, the point is that their polls are dumb, unlike mine. Right? Right. Moving on.

Next topic: Romances. Clips of Richard kissing everyone, but never really getting much more. Chuck and Scarlet's little romance. Erika and Brad's little shortlived romance.

Erika cries. Richard runs over with some yucky little tissue out of his pocket. Once again, NO ONE WAS TALKING TO YOU. Erika says she hasn't seen Brad since they left the mansion, and asks that host guy, "Can I hug him?" Strangely, Brad doesn't say a word. At all. What's next for them? Erika says it's hard to say, they live far apart, blah blah blah, but "I waited for him." Still, Brad doesn't say anything. Brad is asked, "Is it feasible?" and Brad responds, "Certainly." Joe says, "If they get married, I'm going to be the ring bearer." How cute.

Joe is still a virgin, but he says that he's gotten a few phone numbers "and I didn't even have to pretend to be gay." He also says that he'll be putting his virginity up on ebay. Yeah, I'm sure that'll be really fun for some woman.

Richard has not been on a date since the show... although he had lunch with a woman, which she paid for. Sounds like a date. Especially if we use B&TG's standard that the date asker must be the date payer, then it's almost definitely a date. And, thus, Richard's advanced.

Chuck, did you have a real connection with Scarlet, or was she just playing you? Scarlet gasps, looks hurt, and says, "No!" I would've have been inclined to believe her, just like during the season when Chuck says that he thinks she's the prettiest woman in the house and she looks taken aback and innocently asks "Really?" But, I saw what a bitch she was in that camping episode, and nah... I think she's full of shit. But, whatever, Chuck says it was what it was, and it was a good thing at the time.

Lauren says that she would've made out with someone in the house, if she had known that was the trick to staying in the house, and says she'll make out with Richard. Richard takes off his glasses, and Lauren runs over, actually knocks Richard off his feet and kisses him. The whole time, Richard is saying "No, No, No, No, No!"

Eeew, how would you feel if you kissed that geek and he was saying "No" the whole time? Pretty yicky, huh?

Question from the audience: "Hi. Uh, Joe? I fell in love with you during the show. Would you go on a date with me?" Joe blushes, and says yes. If Joe isn't getting any at this point, it's his own fault.

Shawn answers a question and says that he's kept in touch with the one of the girls that he got the phone number of during a challenge. (See, Chuck, maybe it would've paid off to act straight.)

Time to talk to Chuck and Richard about their relationship. Lots of clips of Richard driving Chuck crazy. Chuck's "early 20s" comment. Richard asking Scarlet out, and she replies "Chuck already asked me." Chuck's "You go down with ridicule" comment. Chuck's constant comments to Richard around the campfire. Wow, Chuck was kind of tough on him.

At the aftermath reunion, Chuck seems willing to 'fess up that he was little unfair to Richard, and blames it on his own insecurities. During this, Richard is just cleaning his glasses, and kind of refuses to answer a question about Chuck. The host says they should bury the hatchet, and asks them each to give the other a compliment. Chuck says, with all apparent sincerity, "Richard, I think you're hilarious. You're really funny." Richard thinks of a compliment for Chuck for a minute and finally says, "Well, Chuckaroo, you remind me of Al Gore!" And Chuck says, "That, to me, is a compliment." It seems like now Richard is the one being a dick. And unless Chuck has really done something to him that we just didn't see, Richard should just let it go.

The host says, "I guess it's safe to say that you two will never see eye to eye." "No," says Richard, "Chuck is much taller than me." I guess the truth about Richard is that it's more important for him to get a laugh than to make a connection.

Maybe now would be a good time to mention Chuck's "look." Talk about someone in need of a makeover. He's got some whole scruffy looking thing going, complete with scraggly facial hair. Not geeky, that's for sure, maybe closer to hippie, but worse nonetheless.

An audience member asks Richard if he's for real. Richard's brother is there to say that, yes, he's for real. And, "he's mellowed with age. He used to be very excitable." Interesting, because I wondered the same thing. And also interesting because Richard's brother doesn't really look anything like him. Someone check the mailman, know what I mean?

More clips of the show, this time the girls looking clueless, then the guys looking equally geeky and clueless. But nothing new.

Krystal's geography is tested on a giant U.S. map. And all of the women get a chance to redeem themselves by answering questions they had missed earlier in the season. Krystal can find South Dakota. Scarlet can name 4 states that begin with "New." Lauren still can't add 3 numbers together. Cheryl doesn't know anything more about D-Day, but she shows a history paper that she got an A on. She wrote it in pink. A woman after my own heart.

Shawn is put on the spot when he's asked to give his best pick-up line into the camera. And he says, "Hi, I'm Shawn, what's your name?" Which I think is better than most "lines," so I'd say he is right.

And, finally, Richard is asked if he knows Mindi's middle name. Richard stalls, and Mindi says, "Richard, I'll make out with you if you get it right." And, he gives THE RIGHT ANSWER! Mindi FREAKS OUT! She really had no intention of doing it. She turns bright red, she covers her face, the audience starts chanting "Mindi," and finally Mindi gives Richard a big kiss. Don't know if that counts as "making out," but it was something.

And Mindi's middle name? Nicole. We didn't even guess that one!

The castmembers talk about what they learned from the show. Blah blah blah.

And the castmembers get to ask each other questions.

Mindi asks Shawn, whose hair is spiked up the way it was after the makeover, whether he's been doing his hair like that ever since, or whether it's just for "the aftermath." She probably saw the clip where he looked like a spotted fawn or something and was just as concerned as I was. He assures us that he's been keeping up with it. Good.

Krystal asks Richard, "What was it like, since I was the first girl you kissed?" HERE IT COMES! HERE COMES THE TWIST! HERE'S WHERE SHE SAYS SHE'S NOT REALLY A GIRL! WAIT FOR IT... WAIT FOR IT... Richard says he was glad it was her, and he kisses her again. Wait a minute! WTF? No mention? Well, there's still a few minutes left. Also, I gotta say, if this wasn't the time when she reveals the show's twist, then it sure sounds like she's fishing for a pathetic compliment.

Finally Chuck and Caitilin come up and are congratulated. They're asked what they're going to do with the money. Chuck is going to pay off some tuition bills, Caitilin is going to buy cowboy boots and invest the rest. I'm still trying to figure out whether they're splitting $250,000 or each getting that much. But, there's no giant check, so maybe we'll never know.

And, that's that. Wow, we survived. Someone should pay me $250,000 for watching every minute of this season not once but twice. (I almost always rewatched it to write my recap.) Where's my giant check?

In summary:

Number of times "social experiment" was said: 2 Have I mentioned how much that annoys me? If this is a social experiment, than Amazing Race is a thesis in geography or something.

Number of mentions of Eric, the missing guy: 0. What the heck happened to him? I thought for sure they'd at least say, "Eric couldn't be with us today, he's..." working on something amazing. Maybe he didn't want anything to do with B&TG? Maybe he did something to piss off Ashton? We're left to wonder.

Number of explanations of whether Krystal was really male or female, pre-op or post-op? 0. I guess we'll never know if that was the real "twist" to the show.

And, like I said, if you're one of my readers and you're applying for Season Two, let me know and I promise not to make fun of you... or, at least not too much.

Overheard in Court

I happened to be walking through the lobby of the courthouse this afternoon when I overheard a very irate young man. Not a big surprise, because many of the people entering or exiting the courthouse are irate.

Sometimes, they're really shouting and swearing, maybe punching a wall or something, and it always leaves me wondering, "Gee, you think maybe you have an anger management problem? You think maybe that's why you're here in the first place?"

Anyway, today I couldn't help but overhear (because it was so LOUD!) this little snippet of a conversation between a young man and a woman who was presumably his girlfriend.

"THIS CASE IS ALL F-ED UP! YOU HEAR ME? ALL F-ED UP! YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYIN'? THEY F-ED THIS CASE UP! I WANT A MISTRIAL! THAT'S WHAT THIS CASE NEEDS - A MISTRIAL! THIS IS F-ED UP AND I NEED A MISTRIAL! YOU HEAR ME? YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYIN'? THAT'S WHAT THEY NEED TO DO - A MISTRIAL?"

"I hear you, but I don't know what you sayin'," she replied, "I think mistrials is for people with trials, not people who be pleading guilty."

My Weekend

Oh, I did think of just one thing I wanted to write.

Guess who I met this weekend...

No, c'mon, guess...

Ok, fine, I'll tell you...

JELL-O SHOT KATHY!

That's right. See, I was at the party, and we were chatting for a minute or two when she put her hand out and said, "I'm Kathy."

And, I, being a polite, normal, human-being, shook her hand and said, "I'm Blonde." (Ha ha! No I didn't! I told her my real name. Duh.)

And, she then said to me, "Do you think I should just put these in the fridge?" (Gesturing to a large bag in her other hand.) "I brought Jell-O shots."

"OH! YOU MUST BE JELL-O SHOT KATHY!"

And, boy, was she ever. She had brought 100 Jell-O shots. In at least 4 different colors. At least she lived up to my expectations. And her name.

Checking In

I just wanted to check in and say sorry I haven't written much lately. I just guess I haven't had too much to say. Life, and work, have been very busy lately. But nothing particularly worth writing about.

I'm hoping that this will sort of be like when you take your car to the mechanic and it won't make that noise again... I'll tell you that I just have nothing to say and then I'll be flooded with things to say.

But, in the meantime, I'm not going to make noise just for the sake of making some noise.

Although I will finally write a recap of B&TG: The Aftermath. Soon. (Thanks for reminding me, anonymous commenter somewhere.)

Perfect On A Hot Summer Day

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern

At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent

You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet

Your caffeine addiction level: low

Beauty & The Geek Finale

(As some of you have already commented, the finale episode could've been boiled down from an hour to about to about 15 minutes. As finales go, this one was a little disappointing. So, I hope you're not too disappointed in my recap, but if you are, blame it on Ashton.)

This season on Beauty and the Geek... (Episodes One, Two, Three, Four and Five)

At the beginning of the episode, we're also told, "Tonight, it all comes down to this," and we see the elimination room. I think it's kind of lame that it should come down to questions in the elimination room. I think there should be some better kind of challenge, although I'm not sure what that should be. Well, whatever, we'll see...

Richard & Mindi return from last week's elimination room with a dramatic "We're baaack!" Chuck comments that he misses Scarlet (does anyone remember if she said anything about missing him?), and Chuck tries to burn off his panic by doing a few push-ups and shadow boxing. Complete with Rocky theme music.

Richard and Chuck do a little bonding over martial arts and meditation. It's hard to tell, but it seems like they're getting over their differences, if only a little.

The teams go, yet again, to see the host, who usually tells them the subject of their next challenge. This time, however, he reminds them of the challenges they've already completed, and tells them to enjoy the next days and share their interests with one another before the final elimination. No clue what the elimination will be about - their partners? Their partners' interests?

Chuck takes Caitilin to a martial arts dojo and shows her some moves. At first, Caitilin doesn't seem to be trying too hard. Chuck shows Caitilin how to shout from the core as she throws down some karate chops. Chuck shouts "KEEEEAHHHH!" Caitilin tries it. "Kia?" she says timidly. But, after a little more time in the dojo, it seems like Caitilin has put in a little effort and possibly got something out of the experience, if nothing more than seeing Chuck in his element. And getting to punch him in the chest a few times, which has to be worth something.

Mindi, meanwhile, takes Richard out kayaking. Likewise, Richard seems uncomfortable at first, commenting "I'm not much of an outdoorsman." But, like Caitilin, he puts a little time and effort into it, and soon, Mindi and Richard are gliding along the lake nearly effortlessly. After kayaking, Mindi and Richard enjoy a picnic near the lake. And Richard is amazingly well behaved, compared to his previous date with Lauren, at least.

AND HERE COMES THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF THE WHOLE EPISODE, MAYBE EVEN THE WHOLE SEASON:
Mindi says, "If we win, I'll make out with you... Don't think I won't do it."


Hmmm... would you make out with a geek, or the king of the geeks, for $250,000? Or half of that? Everyone has their price, I guess, and we're seeing what Mindi's is. Or, I suppose you could argue, that she's somehow developed a real attraction for Richard. Nah, then the making out wouldn't be conditioned on winning.

But it has the desired effect of motivating Richard, who comments, "Now I have to win." Because: a) he wants to beat Chuck, b) the money, and c) he'll get to make-out with Mindi. Sounds like motivation enough to me.

That evening, Caitilin teaches Chuck a little bit about cooking, her passion. I'm not quite clear on what she prepared. I see a big stick of cream cheese, and I hear mention of potatos, salmon and honey. And we're never really shown a good plate shot, so I'm not sure. But, more importantly, they seem to get a good opportunity to talk while they cook, and Caitilin shares a little bit about herself, such as the fact that she loves to entertain and that her mother is a phenomenal cook.

Meanwhile, Richard brings Mindi into a romantic scene, complete with rose petals, in front of a grand piano. Richard plays the piano really well, and Mindi really enjoys it. Again, this is a great opportunity to see for Mindi to see her partner is his element, and, as she described it, he was "so at ease." It seems that sometimes Richard might be acting, or uncomfortable and acting out, and this seemed like a great way for them to bond, and that Richard, finally, really had his guard down.

Chuck and Caitilin sit down to dinner and have more time to talk. Chuck talks about some insecurities that he felt in high school, and how this experience has helped him overcome some of those insecurities.

Richard plays a song that he wrote for Mindi, and Mindi accompanies him on the piano. "Mindi, it's windy... when you're not with me." It was cute. Very cute. Maybe Richard is more human than I previously thought.

We are now 25 minutes into the show. If you have TiVo, you can start fast forwarding at this 25-minute mark, or the commercial break before it. Here's what you'll miss: The teams aren't sure what the elimination will be about. Richard is very nervous and drives himself crazy. Mindi works on her tan and reflects on what she's learned. Like, that she should stand up for herself. (Did I miss the Mindi 'standing up for herself' scene?) The time went quickly, but they feel like they've known each other for so long. Chuck gives Richard the names of books on meditation that he might enjoy. The teams want to win, and say their goodbyes to each other. The girls cry, the boys high-5 each other. The teams tell you that, tonight, they will be competing for $250,000. As if you didn't know that. They speculate as to what the challenge will be, and whether or not they'll be ready. They sit around and wait for the challenge to start. Richard is nervously freaking out. Chuck and Caitilin are sitting around, bored, with a ticking clock noise for effect. I'm sure the only thing worse that their boredom with sitting around would be your boredom at watching them sit around. But you don't have to, just keep fast forwarding.

Ok, stop right here. Minute 39. Yup, I just saved you 14 minutes of your life. You can pay me back later. The teams are told that they will "each be asked 10 personal questions about [their] partner." Chuck and Caitilin will go first, and Richard and Mindi leave the room, supposedly separated. The questions include things like their partners' city and state of birth, spelling their partner's name properly, naming where they went to school, where they studied abroad.

Chuck is asked, "What medication is Caitilin allergic to?" The answer is penicillin, and I'm thinking, "If this med student can't at least guess the right answer, one of the most common drug allergies, he does not deserve to win." He gets it right. In total, Chuck and Caitilin get 8 out of 10 questions correctly.

Richard and Mindi are asked similar questions, and get the first 2 wrong. The only way that they will survive is if they answer all 8 of the remaining questions correct... and they do. Surprise, surprise. And we also learn that Mindi has 2 tattoos. Now the tension is so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

Tie-breaker, sudden death round. Ladies go first.
Caitilin is asked Chuck's waist size. 33. Correct.
Mindi is asked what brand of mouthwash gave Richard a hangover. Listerine. Correct. (As if there are so many other brands of mouthwash!)
Because they are both correct, the questions move to the men.

Chuck is asked, "What is Caitilin's middle name?" He answers "Asamo." Whoa, Caitilin's parents may have been on drugs during the baby naming process.
Richard is then asked the same question. And it's obvious that he doesn't know and is going to just have to make a guess.

Here's my advice: If you have to guess a girl's middle name, especially a girl born in the 70s or even early 80s, I think the safest guess is probably "Lynn." That seems to be a lot of girls' middle names, because it's short and goes with so many first names. (Except, of course, "Caitilin." Since "Caitilin Lynn" would sound dumb, you need to go with a middle name like "Asamo" when using a first name like "Caitilin.")

But Richard guesses, "Jackie." Sure, Jackie is a nice name and all, but I don't think it's a common middle name. I doubt the census keeps track of middle names, but it just seems like it'd be uncommon. Especially in the form of "Jackie." Maybe "Jacqueline" or something. Well, anyway, Richard is wrong. AND, NO, THEY NEVER TELL US WHAT MINDI'S MIDDLE NAME IS. SORRY, I know you found this site by googling "Beauty and The Geek Mindi's Middle Name." Sorry.

SO, CHUCK AND CAITILIN WON. And both of the teams learned thing from each other, they're proud of each other, blah blah blah.

THERE WAS NO BIG TWIST. As far as we know, Krystal wasn't a man, none of the women turned out to be Rhodes scholars, and Richard wasn't an actor planted there by the WB.

AND RICHARD AND MINDI DON'T MAKE OUT.

But there will be a reunion or "aftermath" show next week, where we'll find out what happened to all of the contestants. Did their romances survive? Stay tuned for that, which I will also recap.

And in the meantime, take my blogpoll:

Passing The Bar (Part 2)

Oh, crap! For those of you studying for the bar, I just realized tonight that I totally the forgot to give you the second prong of my patented two-part passing the bar secret (that's right, it's patented, so don't try to steal it, BarBri). I know it's getting late and the exam is rapidly approaching, please don't kill me.

Hopefully, you've already been utilizing super-effective-bar-passing-tip-number-one, so here's super-effective-tip-number-two: You have to improve your karma.

So, from this day forward, until you get the good news that you passed, you need to help little old ladies cross the street, buy candy bars to support kids' drug habits basketball teams, donate blood, hold the elevator door open for that slow guy even though you're already running late, give money to that woman who is walking in some walkathon, and get your leftovers to go and give them out to the homeless on the way home.

Sorry, I know we're really getting down to the line here, but I think if you really apply yourself, you can do it.

As of this year, this BarBlondeTM two part bar preparation process has a 100% success rate, and you can't mess with that kind of statistic. (Well, you could mess with it by saying that it's an unreliably low sample size, since it only included, well, me, but, we're lawyers, not statisticians, right?)

And, if you were using tip number one all along and start using tip number two immediately, you shouldn't worry about this but... if by some crazy fluke you don't pass the bar, at least you can feel great about all of those amazingly nice things you did. And this will more than make up for the guilt you feel everytime you see the dumb-as-a-rock-guy whose photo you used in tip number one. Right? Right.

Friday Spies

(As always, brought to you by BTQ)

1. Tropical Storm Cindy and Hurricane Dennis are causing trouble in the Southeast this week. Share a natural disaster story. I think I mentioned this once before, but when I was in college, I got in a car accident. Mainly it was because there was a tape stuck in the tape deck and I was really trying to get it out. (No, I did not go to college that long ago, it was just an ancient car.) Anyway, because I took my eyes off the road to try to pop the tape out of the tape deck, I ended up rear-ending the car in front of me. Coincedentally, there was a little rain, and even a little tornado nearby. When the officer arrived on the scene, I begged and pleaded with him not to give me a ticket even though the accident was very much my fault. (Yes, this is very much contrary to all of the "DON'T TALK TO COPS!" advice I now give my clients). Yes, I know that despite the rain, or, actually because of the rain, I should have allowed more following distance. But the tape was stuck! I started to worry that it would be like my cousin's 80-something Honda Civic which just permanently plays the same Red Hot Chili Peppers tape over and over! Anyway, the nice officer was kind enough to fill in the section titled "Cause of accident:" with the word "TORNADO." Sweet.

And that's really the only natural disaster story I have.

2. What is your favorite work of art? There was a lot of sculpture on my college campus that was really nice. I had a favorite piece - it was a sculpture so big you could sit in it and read or study. It was definitely a favorite place for me, so I think that makes it a favorite piece of art.

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle or the bottom? Absolutely from the bottom. Actually, I use a cute little toothpaste squeezer. Fine, call me neurotic, see if I care.

4. What is your favorite "cult" film? I've never seen a movie about a cult. Ok, fine, I'll say Dude Where's My Car or Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle.

5. Would you go into space if given the chance? Where would you go? No way. I'd be way too claustrophobic and lonely in that little can. Where would I go? Like, instead? Um, I hear Morocco is nice.

Beauty & The Geek Finale Recap Coming Soon

Yes, I know that I owe you a recap of the B&TG Season Finale. It will be here soon. (Tomorrow?)

I did watch it. And I'm so glad I watched it because I knew it would only be a matter of time before someone would comment or email me and mention the winner.

Ok, recap soon. Promise.

That Kathy

The following is taken from an actual conversation. Nothing, not even the names, have been changed, to protect the... uh... innocent.

"So, who else did you invite to the party?"
"Well... Kathy and..."
"Kathy? Do I know Kathy?"
"Kathy from work."
"I don't think I met Kathy."
"No, you know Kathy. She sits upstairs..."
"No, I must not have met Kathy."
"Well, ok, anyway, I put Kathy in charge of making the Jell-o shots for the..."
"Oh! Kathy! You should've just said 'Jell-o Shot Kathy,' then I would have known who you were talking about."

Beauty & The Geek - Episode 5

Hey, wait... wasn't my Episode 4 recap just... like... yesterday? Yeah, but this one is sooo good... And there is just so much to say...

(Last week on Beauty and the Geek - as if you're completely incapable of scrolling down two inches.)

Now, three teams remain - Richard and Mindi, Chuck and Caitilin, and Shawn and Scarlet. Upstairs, Chuck, Caitilin, and Scarlet are sitting around saying "I hope Richard is gone," when Richard and Mindi return to say, yet again, "We're back!"

Richard mentions that he'd like to steal Scarlet away from Chuck and win the money... um, good luck with that. So, Richard begins by referring to Scarlet as "mi amor" and pulling her aside to whisper "Did you hear what Chuck said to me?"

Chuck and Scarlet are seen canoodling in the hot tub. Chuck mentions in a voice over that he doesn't want it to end, because he wants to spend more time with Scarlet. Scarlet mentions that she likes Chuck because "it's different." I don't know that this necessarily bodes well for a blooming romance.

Time to find out the next challenge... teams will be working together to win a joint challenge. That means that the one team that wins will be safe, and the two teams that don't win will go to the elimination room. The teams aren't given too much information about the challenge, but they find backpacks in their rooms and figure out that they'll be camping.

Scarlet asks Shawn, "Have you ever been backpacking?"
Shawn responds, "I'm a boyscout!"
So, it's starting to look like maybe Shawn and Scarlet could finally win a challenge.

The teams have just a few minutes to pack, and the discussions are pretty interesting. Heels? Hair product? What exactly are the necessities for a camping trip? Meanwhile, the other teams also realize that Shawn has an advantage as an Eagle Scout. And Shawn creates a little pressure of his own buy talking trash. "You're going to crash and burn," he tells Chuck.

So, the teams are aboard an RV, where they find books on camping and fishing. A note explains that their challenge will involve following markers through the woods to a pond, where they'll have to... and I quote... "catch a fish," then they'll race to the campsite where they have to set up their tents, and finally, gather wood to start a fire - the first team to toast a marshmallow wins.

Wow, this sounds like a really interesting challenge! Unlikely to involve bikinis, but fun. Hell, these teams could be sitting around all day on the lake, trying to catch their fish. And, if you've ever tried to set up a tent, you know what a challenge that could be. It sounds like this will really be an endurance, team-building kind of challenge. I'm looking forward to it.

And, here, I have to comment on Shawn's hair. It looked pretty cute in the last episode when they highlighted it. And when you highlight hair, you don't put color on the whole head (because then it wouldn't be highlights), you just put it on selected spots on the head. Well, I don't know if it's because Shawn hasn't bothered to keep up the style, or what... but now that his hair is all flat down on his head, he looks really bizarre. Like a spotted bird of some type.

Ok, back to the challenge. The RV pulls up at the... I don't know... park?... where they're going to do this challenge, and all of the teams jump out and take off running.

Whoa, speaking of bad hair, what the heck is on Mindi's head? She looks like Daisy Head Mayzie. Nah, that'd be a compliment. I've got a better one. I never read the book (and this is about to be abundantly obvious), but if I had to draw the cover for the book "The Fountainhead," I'd draw Mindi's head as it looks right now. Wow, I guess no one bothered to do their hair because they're going camping? Or are the geeks rubbing off on her? No one knows.

So, the teams have to run up a hill to the pond (are ponds usually at the tops of hills? I would think ponds are at the bottoms of hills...). Richard carries Mindi's pack, because she has a stomach ache. That's kind of sweet. See, it seems like he can turn off the annoying whining act sometimes, right?

Meanwhile, Shawn has to stop because he doesn't feel good, and actually has to be seen by the medics. And, as Scarlet so eloquently puts it, "He couldn't catch his bref." And he actually pukes, right there on the side of the trail. Did they give them bad food for breakfast or what?

Packless, Mindi falls a little bit, but amazingly, Richard refrains from whining.

And now the first team, Chuck and Caitilin, are arriving at the lake. Here comes the amazing part. Now, I notice that no one appears to be carrying fishing rods, so I assume they'll be at the lake waiting for them. (Although, I think it'd be better if they had to carry everything they would need.) Chuck and Caitilin run down to the lake, grab their poles, and "started hauling the fish in."

Holy Mackeral! They both caught really nice sized fish almost instantly upon arriving at the lake! I've never seen anything like it! Wow, and I thought they'd be sitting around the lake bonding all day. I wonder what kind of bait they used, because that was amazing!!!

Now, they just need to pull their fish off the lines, and they can move on to the next part of the challenge. Now, Richard and Mindi are arriving at the lake. And they're having what I imagine to be pretty normal first-time-fisher problems. "How do you do the reel?" "You have to unlock it." "Wait, is yours all tangled..." "Where's the handle?" Ok, this is starting to sound more like the fishing I know.

Scarlet has arrived at the lake without Shawn. So much for teamwork. As Richard and Mindi try to get their poles straightened out, Scarlet runs back to Shawn. "Shawn!" In an interview, she says "I was not allowed to get both fish. My partner has to get the other fish," as if explaining why she had to run back to get Shawn. "Wow," I think, "pretty presumptuous of you, isn't it, Scarlet? Now, not only are you going to catch one fish, you're going to catch two? Before Shawn even gets there?"

AND THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENS. IT IS UNBELIEVABLE. Shawn arrives at the lake, immediately starts pulling in a fish, and says, in a voiceover, "We had to reel in a fish that was already attached to the line." WHAT WAS THAT? THANK GOD FOR TIVO, LET'S REWIND. "Already attached to the line." NO WAY. ONE MORE TIME. "Already attached to the line."

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT IS NOT FISHING! IN FISHING, THE FISH ARE FREE! THEY ARE SWIMMING ABOUT! AND YOUR GOAL IS TO GET ONE ONTO YOUR LINE AND THEN PULL IT IN! THIS IS NOT A FISHING CONTEST - THIS IS A REELING CONTEST! Forget it, I give up. This show is too ridiculous. No. You cannot stop me. I have given up on this show. Sorry, there will be no more recap, I'm just turning it off.

Ok, fine, I'll continue. Only because I saw on the preview that Chuck would somehow try to put Richard in his place and I want to see that. Not because I endorse this ridiculous non-fishing version of fishing, which is just a waste of my time.

And, further, how frickin' ridiculous is it that Richard and Mindi still haven't "caught" their fish, when all they had to do was pull the line in??? Or, as they put it, "pull the cord." Finally, they catch on to that, and just give up on the reel and pull the line in.

Now, all the teams are at the campsite, putting their tents up. Chuck and Caitilin had arrived first and are making great progress on getting their tent up. But, at this point, who cares? Instead, the boyfriend and I sit there and imagine the voiceovers that we're not hearing:

"Well, the tent was already laid out for us, we just had to..."
"No wait! I've got a better one. The tents were already put up for us, we just had to stake them into the ground!"
And so on and so forth.

Whatever, what you need to know is that Chuck and Caitilin get their tent up first (if it wasn't put up for them already), and Shawn and Scarlet are just a moment behind, but they can't get the rainfly on the tent.

The next part of the challenge is to build a fire and toast a marshmallow. ("The fire was already built..." "No, how about 'The marshmallows were already pre-toasted?'") Chuck is working on the fire.... And honestly, it looks like a firering is already built with some sticks in a tee-pee shape, and it's just a matter of getting a few small sticks to start the fire.

Chuck and Caitilin win. And Scarlet is pissed! Obviously, this is entirely Shawn's fault for getting sick. And the nerve of him, to get sick when he said he was boyscout and could win this one! As Scarlet says, "It's just very fustrating." Scarlet declares that she will not share a tent with Shawn and will sleep outside if she has to. I'm looking forward to that.

Hey, wait, here's a Beauty and the Geek commercial. Ready? "Next Wednesday: the dramatic season finale of Beauty and the Geek. But it doesn't end there. The following week, find out what really happened between Chuck and Richard and Scarlet. Beauty and the Geek: The Aftermath, July 13th." And, um, I'm not going to give anything away her yete, but if you watch this commercial, when they show the clips for the finale, they show you what teams are in the finale. But, no big surprise there, I guess. Especially if you've been following my recaps. Ok, back to the show, where Scarlet is throwing her little tantrum.

At the campsite, Scarlet is pulling each remaining player aside and talking smack about Shawn - how he should have done more, not gotten sick, won the challenge. "I could've done this shit all by myself," she says. She's just "fustrated." Caitilin says that Scarlet is being too mean, and I agree. As Caitilin put it, "Scarlet hasn't won a challenge yet. And he's never once acted mean to her or acted disappointed. I just don't think it was very nice." Right on. Pretty girls, quit being bitches.

Oh, and somehow, around the campfire, Chuck and Shawn share a kiss on the lips. Don't know how that happened. There was some other kissing going around, and there was some joke that Chuck would have to kiss someone, so he kissed Shawn. I don't know.

Now, Richard really starts to act bizarre. He's shouting, he's bored, he's walking around driving everyone crazy. See? They're bored! This is why they should've spent longer fishing! And then they'd be more tired and appreciative of their experience. And, another thing... where did this cooler full of food come from? I didn't see any of them carrying a cooler in!

So, Richard starts getting on everyone's nerves. Richard keeps playing with the fire, which annoys Chuck. Caitilin sides with Richard, though, and says "Why can't you just let him?" I don't know, I'm kind of torn. I can see how he'd drive everyone crazy. But I can see how it's probably just be better to let him be. Now, sitting around the fire, Chuck suggests to Richard that maybe Richard has ADD and has a problem recognizing social cues. Everyone tells Chuck that this is mean, but Chuck stands by his diagnoses. I agree, I think Chuck might be right, he might be wrong - or, most likely, he might be right but just going about things in the wrong way.

Finally, Scarlet pulls Shawn aside to tell him how she feels - that he gave up too easily and didn't try. "I tried. I could've decided to go to the emergency room, but I didn't, I got up." Man, maybe we didn't see the whole thing to know whether he was possibly faking it, but she seems to be pretty harsh if he really was sick.

The next morning, they all pack up and return to the mansion. The teams facing elimination focus their energies on studying. Scarlet is still being a bitch, telling Shawn to look over the stuff. "Because you said you knew everything yesterday, and obviously you didn't." Wait a minute, so puking and being sick means you don't know things? Oh, ok, good to know, bitch.

Here's an interesting part. Mindi gets stuck in the bathroom. She's inside, telling Richard how to open the bathroom door. He's turning the knob, he's pulling and pushing, he can't get the door open. He decides to check out the windows, so he goes out his window and walks over to the bathroom window, knocking on it and telling Mindi she'll have to come out through the window. While Richard is outside, Chuck, his archenemy, comes by and just opens the door. Ha! Mindi comes out in her bath towel (this is probably why she didn't want to come out the window), and Richard shouts about how humiliated he is that he failed her.

Now Mindi is out in the hottub, getting a footrub from Chuck. Once again, not something Richard likes. When Mindi comes back in the house, Richard gets accusatory about the foot massage, "You got a foot massage from the enemy!" When Mindi confronts him about needing to know "when too much is too much," Richard explains that he has compulsion to perform. Yes, he sure does.

After more studying, it's time for the teams to head to the elimination room. Chuck stops by to talk to Richard in what seems to be an almost-apology.

"The more I sort of get to know you, the more I think, you know, early 20s is an awkward time."
"Early 20s? Oh. Oh. Oh."
"You know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
"I think you're really going to come into your own."
"Well, I appreciate that Chuck. And you're... uh... only 27."

Chuck also stops by and gives Shawn a big hug before he heads to the elimination room. A long hug. Kind of too long. Especially give the kiss the night before. He also gives Scarlet a hug.

Chuck in a voiceover: "I knew that if anyone were around, I wouldn't get a goodbye kiss from Scarlet. Even so, the goodbye still felt a little cold."
Scarlet in a voiceover: "It's more about the game now than the relationship. I just don't want to hurt myself, I don't want to hurt him."
Translation: I'm over him, he bored me with his Quaker talk, and now that we're playing head-to-head, there's really no reason for me to keep this thing going on with him.

In the elimination room, the women answer questions first. Mindi, with a previously perfect record in the elimination room, maintains her record and gets all of her answers right. But, once again, I feel like the Richard/Mindi combo got the easier questions. Here's a sample.

Mindi's Question: What do you call it when you hang your food in a bag suspended from a tree so that bears can't get to it?
Mindi's Answer: Um, a bear bag?
Host Guy: That is correct.

Wow, how in the world did she get that one? A bag to keep out bears? Man, I don't know what my guess would have been. Maybe I would've guessed something like "a food storage contraption bag." Maybe that would have also been an acceptable answer? By comparison, we have this:

Scarlet's Question: What blows up the mountain by day and down the mountain by night?
Wait a minute, something blew up the mountain? I didn't even notice that. You'd think it'd be obvious if the mountain blew up! I can't guess this one. I guess I'd go with some kind of explosive that could blow up a mountain. Maybe TNT?
Scarlet's Answer: Uh, a fire?
Host Guy: That is incorrect. The answer is "the wind."
Yeah, dumbass, but the wind would make fire blow in the same direction too, so she's probably also right. At least she didn't think it had something to do with blowing up the mountain, like I did.

Do you really think these questions are fair? But, then again, I don't really feel that bad for Scarlet - I mean, she's so infalliable and it's only Shawn's fault if they don't win, right? I mean, she confuses hyperventilation with hypothermia - maybe she should've paid more attention when the medics were working on Shawn.

Shawn's turn, and he can't name some totally obscure fevers caused by ticks (and meanwhile, Scarlet is in the viewing room saying, "Think Shawn, we can do this, I know we can." Where the heck is she getting "we" from all the sudden?). But then, Richard doesn't know how many leaves are on poison ivy. (C'mon, everyone has heard of "Leaves of three, leave it be.")

Shawn's final question is "What is the most popular game fish in North America?" Shawn guesses bass but the answer trout. Big frickin' difference. Oh well. Shawn and Scarlet are eliminated and Richard and Mindi make it to the finals (which we already knew from the commercial for the finale, which showed Richard playing the piano.)

Stay tuned for next week's dramatic conclusion, where Chuck and Richard, archenemies, will face off. And from the commercial it appears that the final elimination is, once again, a series of questions. Shouldn't it be something more dramatic for a final elimination? Well, tune in and we shall see...

Girls Who Like...

Hey Woman of the Law,

I think someone was looking for your blog and accidently got routed to my blog somehow. If he comes back again, I'll send him your way. Wouldn't it be cute if you turned into some cute little Fever Pitch couple, and it was all because of me?

Who said I'm not a matchmaker? Oh wait... I did. But maybe it's time to turn things around. Let's hope so.

Your friend,
Blonde Justice