Catching Up

There have been quite a few things I've wanted to say in the past few days, but blogger hasn't let me. Grrrr. And now that it's been a few days, it' s harder for me to catch up on all of the things I wanted to say.

For example, first and foremost, Johnny Cochran passed away. But what can I write that hasn't been written in the hundreds of articles I've read today?

Instead, completely random, I will show you this fun website I found. On www.newsmeat.com, you can see which celebrities gave money to which political candidates. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Johnny Cochran donated quite a bit of money to democratic candidates. It's also interesting to do a zipcode search of your hometown and see who is making donations and which way your town is leaning.

Alright, I guess that's all for now. I'll post more once blogger is behaving better (and after I've researched the political donations of every celebrity ever.)

Oh, and after that I'm going to test and retest myself in this "What Dog Are You?" quiz (find it at the bottom right hand corner of the site.)

Members Only

There is a little drug store near my office, where I sometimes stop in for odds and ends on my way to or from work.

Sometimes, under the things I need, there are signs like "Save ten percent with your club card." Or "Regular price, $2.00; Member price, $1.75." I have one of the cards (conveniently located on my keychain), so if I notice one of these signs, I try to remember to show my card when I check out.

The other day, I stopped at the drug store to get a few things on my way back from lunch. I picked up two things, but when I got to the cash register, I realized that I had forgotten to look to see whether I would save by showing my card.

So I told the cashier boy, "I have one of these cards. I don't know if it'll make a difference."

I figured he might know whether any of the items I was buying were on sale.

"Actually, yeah," he responded, "You should give your card every time you buy something. Because we started this new thing. It's gonna be, like, for every dollar you waste here, you get some points, and then you get stuff with the points."

Yes, that's right. He said "waste." Way to market it.

Correspondence

Dear Congress (particularly those of you in the red states),

Remember when you said that marriage was a sacred institution? And not just any two people should get into it? Only heterosexual people, who could really love and care for each other? Because, along with that important bond goes a lot of responsibilities? Like making decisions for one another? Yeah, I remember that too.

Then what makes you (yeah, especially you, Jeb Bush) think that you can make a better decision for a person than her own spouse? Where's your sanctity of marriage now?

Just wondering,
Blonde Justice

_______________________________

Dear notguilty,

Did you see Paris and Nicole tonight? They were in your 'hood! I was wondering if you ever went to that bakery. Also, they've got some criminals working at that bakery. Maybe you could go round up some clients. And cookies. At the same time. That's hot.

Love,
Blonde Justice

______________________________

Dear Woman of the Law,

You inspire me and make me proud. I know you're still in the "gathering unofficial offers" stage of your job hunt, but it'd be an honor to have you on my side of the courtroom.

"She's not delusional" has got to be one of the best comments I've ever received. Someday, I'm going to make a little sidebar like the one on Frolics and Detours, with all of the nice things anyone has ever said about me or my blog, and I'm totally going to include that.

Sincerely,
Blonde Justice

The Blondeness

Me (after the boyfriend teases me about something): I'm totally blogging that.

The Boyfriend: You can't blog that.

Me: Why not? Because everyone will see how mean you are to me?

The Boyfriend: No. Because everyone will see how much blondeness I have to put up with.

Bad Prosecutor

Skelly sometimes posts "Bad PD" stories. Unfortunately, prosecutors don't always get the press they deserve. So, send me your bad prosecutor articles, and, when I've got nothing better to write about, I'll post them.

Here's a good juicy one to get us started:
Drugs Cause Ex-Mo. Prosecutor's Downfall

Tourney Blogging

While I just can't write a "tourney blogging" entry as in depth as some of the other blogs (um, because I don't actually watch the games), I can say that I am totally rocking my March madness bracket thingy.

That's what happens when you pick your teams completely at random.

"Vermont? I went there on vacation. It was pretty. I'll pick that one."
"Bucknell Bison? That's so funny. As if they have bison in Pennsylvania. Does any state still have bison? Ah, that one just sounds funny. I pick that."

And the boyfriend said there's no way my Bison would beat Kansas! Oh yeah? How far did your charts and analysis and college basketball magazines get you this year?

Shake Your Love

My upstairs neighbor subscribes to Playboy. I know this because I sometimes see the conspicuous black-bagged magazine, which probably stands out more than a naked chick would.

Anyway, I just found out that one of my childhood idols posed for this month's Playboy. (That link is not work-safe. Unless Playboy is safe at your work.)

How weird is that? I used to dance on my bed to "Electric Youth," singing into my hairbrush. And right now my upstairs neighbor might be... ugh, I can't even say it... you know... getting lost in her eyes.

In other news of who-gets-what-mail-in-my-building, I have done enough research to declare that the woman living on the bottom floor definitely has a QVC addiction.

And I never see her husband around anymore, so I have a theory that maybe she killed him. And she lives on the bottom floor, so she could've easily buried him in a crawlspace or something. And now she's spending all of his life insurance money on QVC crap. Then, finally, today, she came over to me while I was picking up my mail, and asked if there was any mail for her husband.

Yes, that would have been my perfect opportunity to catch her. I could've at least asked, "Oh, how's your husband doing? Haven't seen him around!" and then stared at her suspiciously. But I didn't.

(Besides, you know that if I did find any proof, it'd be followed by a "Would you report this to the police?" post on this blog.)

Ok, no more detective books for me for a while.

Friday Spies

I'm going to try out this Friday Spies thing, brought to us by the folks at BTQ. So, here goes:

1. Who is an author whose work you've never read, but want to?
J.D. Salinger. Partly because I feel like he's just one of those authors that you're supposed to have read (although I do know enough to be able to say, "Oh, Catcher in the Rye? Yeah, a lot of cursing there.") And partly for a personal reason. You'd have to email me to get that info.

2. Can men and women be friends?
Of course. Obviously, there's a problem if one party is always wishing that the relationship was more. But if both parties know what that it's just a friendship, I don't think it's a problem.

3. If you could choose to live in a different time period, would you?If so, when would live and why?
Nah, I like it here. Also, what are the alternatives? I think that we can all think of the faults with most historical periods. (Slavery? That sucked. No sex before marriage? Nah, not that era. No indoor plumbing? Forget it.) I guess the future would be an option. But how far in the future? The Jetsons thing would be cool for a while, but I feel like there's not enough nature involved. I think it's best to just stay where (or when) I am.

4. Have you ever sold anything, bought anything, or processed anything as a career? Have you ever sold anything bought or processed, or bought anything sold or processed, or repaired anything sold, bought,or processed, as a career?
Yeah, but not as a career, just as a job. Let's see, I worked for Victoria's Secret (selling process panties), and I worked in computer repair (that's repairing something processed). But now, finally, as a career, I don't sell anything, buy anything, or process anything. And I don't sell anything bought or process, or buy anything sold or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. Not as a career, at least.

5. They're going to make a movie about your life. What's the theme song?
This was by far the hardest question. "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants. It's one of my all-time favorite songs, it's cute and cheery, the message is about being helpful and hopeful, and I think it would fit well as the theme song to my life.

Lawyer to the Stars

This just in: Rapper Lil Kim convicted of perjury.

So, here's my advice for all you celebs: Ask your lawyer to venue shop your case to California. As we know, celebrities just can't lose there.

At all costs, avoid Federal Court in NYC.

Unless you want to end up at Camp Cupcake or sporting a new anklet.

There you have it, my legal advice. That'll be $3K. At least. More if you're A-List.

Tax Season

My boyfriend did my taxes tonight.

(Just for the record, I did not go directly from having my mother do my taxes to having my boyfriend do my taxes. I did my own for a few years there. And I got huge rebates those years. Whether that's because I was in college, or because I was doing it all wrong, I'll never know.)

Anyway, when he was all done, he let me know the good news. I'm getting a rebate! $43. Not much, but still. It's better than owing.

Then came the hard part. He asked me, "How do you want that?"

It's funny because sometimes I'll stop by the bank to withdraw $20 so that I'll have some lunch money, and they'll ask me, "How you do want that?" And, ha ha, I'm so funny, I always say, "Hundreds?"

Anyway, the boyfriend asked if I wanted them to mail me a check, or if I wanted to give my bank information and get a deposit...

"Hmm... How about a Starbucks card? Could you get them to send it to me on a Starbucks card?"

"That wasn't one of the options."

My Internet Double

This is really weird, but did you ever start reading someone's blog, just some total random stranger, and then you start thinking "Oh my goodness, I think she lives in the same town as me." And then, "Wait, she's a lawyer? I'm a lawyer!" And then, "Whoa, we went to the same law school?" And the more you read, the more similarities you have? The same hobbies, things that look the same, the same favorite objects...

(Of course I can't link to the blog! Then you would know everything that there is to know about me!)

...and then I sort of have a weird urge to email this person, but what would I say?

"Hi, my name is Blonde Justice. I've been reading your blog, and I just wanted to know that I think I'm just like you."

That'd be too weird. Oh well, maybe I could just keep reading her blog, and I could sort of live vicariously, and then I would never even have to leave my house. Ok, that'd be weird too.

About the Other Night

I was going to leave this as a comment to the previous post, but it was long, and I figured, hey, it's my blog, I'll write where I want to...

I'm generally from the "mind your own business" school of thought. I think that a lot of life's little problems would probably be avoided if people just minded their own business a little more (especially a lot of the problems I see in my job). So, that's what I ended up doing the other night. (Although, I did blog about it.)

That said, I definitely understand that there's a difference between having a drink or two before driving and driving while impaired. And, in my opinion, this driver was more in the reeked-of-alcohol-and-had-been-drinking-for-a-while category than the otherwise-clean-but-just-had-a-shot-or-even-two category. But that's just based on my "training and experience" which is probably no more reliable than the police officers' that I try to discredit as part of my job.

Further, I felt that it was worse that this man was not only drinking and driving, but drinking and driving while on a job that requires driving. I felt, for what it's worth, that somehow there's a difference between having a few glasses of wine with dinner and then driving straight home compared to having a few drinks, knowing that you're going to spend the rest of the evening driving around as part of a service job. Not that there's a difference legally, but I guess there is to me.

Someone mentioned that drunk driving is one of their "issues." It's not mine, but I can respect that. I see a lot of different crimes in my job, and I hear a lot of different rationalizations. "I stole because I was hungry," "I stole because the opportunity was there," "I stole to support my habit." These I can generally, at least to some degree, understand. Even "I hit her because I just lost my temper," I can understand that maybe you didn't grow up in a way that you were taught to control your temper, or you were never really taught that it's not okay to hit someone (especially if you were being hit, or watching mom being hit).

But I really can't understand any rationalization to knowingly driving drunk. I happen to work in a city with a million ways to get home if you can't drive - call a friend, call a cab, take the bus, take the train, or just walk. I guess maybe one difference is that when I was in school (not that long ago), drunk driving was a big issue. We talked about it in health class and in driver's ed. There were occasionally guest speakers (probably doing community service, I guess) and S.A.D.D. would set up wrecked cars in front of the high school. We were taught that drunk driving was not just bad, but very bad. And, if I had to guess, I'd say that most of the commenters who said, "He could've hit a kid" grew up in this same era. The reality is that not every impaired, or even drunk, driver ends up hitting someone or something. Fortunately, a lot make it home safe. I'm not saying drunk drivers are never dangerous, I just wonder how much of this drunk-driver-is-going-to-kill-someone mantra is reality, and how much of it is what we were just taught in school.

A lot of the drunk driving clients that I see are older, in their 40s or 50s, probably from a time when drunk driving wasn't such an issue. Most have never been in trouble for anything else. The rest are kids, who were just being stupid. Those usually fall into the "I didn't think I was that drunk" category (of course, they "only had 2 beers"). Or "I just didn't think."

Finally, though, I feel like even if I wanted to say something about it now, it's kind of too late. (Remember, this is the police department that said a $6K theft wasn't worth following up on, I don't think "the pizza guy was drunk a few nights ago" is going to rank too highly.) But I think that, in the future, if something like this happened, I might call the police. And, I also think that if I felt like my local police department was more responsive, I might be more inclined to report more incidents, but, like I said, in the past I lost quite a few hours with them regarding my case, only to be told that it wasn't worth following up on. There's been other similar incidents (worse, actually), but I'll leave it at that for now.

So, I guess that's more or less the end of that now. Unless I end up ordering from there again. Which I might have to do, considering how good the alfredo was... (Although, I'm still interested in hearing everyone's opinions).

Dinner Carbonara Dilemma

Alright, here's the update on dinner. And, just to throw it in there, a little bit of a dilemma.

Eventually the boyfriend did put some clothes on (he had just gotten out of the shower, I swear!) and open the cabinets, in search of dinner. But, seeing as how the only thing in the cabinets was Oreos and take-out menus (and I don't think Oreos were an ingredient in carbonara), we decided to order some delivery.

Now, the thing about my neighborhood is that there are hundreds of places that deliver. At least 10 pizza-and-or-Italian places. And, there's one company that will pick-up food from any restaurant and deliver it for an almost-reasonable fee. But, truth is, none of them are great. Most of the pizza is so-so at best, we can't find decent Chinese, and most of the other places that deliver are really expensive. (Last time, we ordered 2 sandwiches, and the total was over $40. Seriously.)

Which is weird, because where I grew up, in the 'burbs, there was one pizza place that delivered, and one Chinese place that delivered, but they were both cheap and delicious. You'd think in a nice big city, we'd have more options (and we do), but they're just not that good.

Anyway, we eventually picked out an Italian place that we had never tried before. Boyfriend got spaghetti and meatballs, and I told him, "First ask if they have carbonara. If they don't, I'll take the chicken and linguini alfredo."

He gets on the phone and I hear him say,
"Do you have any carbonara sauce?"
then a pause, and then
"Well, it's a cream sauce. With bacon."

When the Italian place doesn't know what carbonara is... that's a bad sign, right?

So, he orders the alfredo. It'll be a half-hour. We sit around and wait. We watch an entire episode of The West Wing. And wait some more. So boyfriend calls back, and asks how much longer it'll be.

"It should only be a few minutes, the delivery guy left a little while ago."

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings. And the driver reeks of alcohol. Or, as the police report would read, "Strong odor of alcohol on breath. Eyes red and watery. Balance unsteady."

Anyway, we ate the dinner. Boyfriend reports that his spaghetti was "ok," but my alfredo was delicious. It was just what I needed. Oh, and we got some cheesey garlic bread - that was really yummy.

I was wondering, though... if it were you... (and you were a criminal defense attorney, which, in my mind, doesn't mean that you don't think anyone should go to jail, you just think your own clients shouldn't go to jail, but in general, it also means you also don't believe in snitches)... would you say anything or do anything about the drunk delivery driver that's probably going to driving around your neighborhood all night? I mean, not necessarily calling the police, but maybe calling his employer?

Maybe the employer (the restaraunt) would want to cover for him and deny it. (For all I know, it could be the owner's brother or something). In which case, if I ever wanted alfredo again, they'd probably spit in it (or worse). Or the driver would just never come.

But on the other hand, it's a potentially dangerous situation. That driver, especially given that he's making deliveries, reading the delivery slips and looking for house numbers or whatnot, could do some damage.

But on the other hand (yes, I have 3 hands, live with it), who am I to be a snitch?

And, also, if you were the owner or proprieter of the neighborhood Italian place, wouldn't you want to know if your delivery guy was drinking on the job? Then again, maybe he does know. I mean, he probably sees the delivery guy in between deliveries. Heck, maybe the delivery guy sits at the bar and drinks red wine between deliveries, I don't know.

I don't know. What do you guys think?

p.s., Thank you for the recipes, I will get around to making carbonara eventually. After the next grocery delivery.

Disappointments All Around

Somehow, the boyfriend got out of taking me to see The Pacifier. He played some big scam where he made me go from store to store looking for things he wanted, and then I was too tired to go to the movies, and then he played like, "Oh, I thought you wanted to see 'Hitch'" and "I got the movietimes for 'Hitch'" and finally, forget it, I just wanted to go home. I know he probably planned that all week.

And, another thing, I really want some kind of spaghetti carbonara. Or linguini carbonara. Heck, I'd just eat a cup of carbonara sauce (in Italian, that's called "cuppa carbonara"). It's weird, because, as a kid I hated any white sauce. But now I love it. (Hey you, the one with the dirty thoughts, cool it.) Anyway, what I'm wondering is, do you think I could figure out how to make carbonara sauce? I, um, don't really cook. Probably not? Yeah, that's what I figured... no carbonara for me, no movie for me.

I guess I'll just go put away laundry or something lame like that.

Things I Wish My Clients Knew (Part 3)

Don't kill judges. Or any other court staff, for that matter.

It certainly won't make things better for you. It'll most likely make things worse.

From what I've read, he was only on trial for rape, sodomy, burglary, false imprisonment, and gun and drug possession.. I say "only" not because these aren't serious crimes, but because the penalty is certainly is less serious than for a triple-murder. Right?

And, to make it worse, this was his second trial for the charges. The last jury hung. Which tells me that he had at least a chance of beating the charges.

One last thing - I've noticed that a few of the news stories (including this one) contain quotes from James Bailey, one of the jurors. Now, I think it's a safe assumption that this trial is over, and these jurors are excused. After all, the judge is dead and the defendant is missing. But I'd also guess that the judge's last instruction to the jury was probably not to discuss the case with anyone. And I don't think anyone reconvened the jury to tell them that they were excused between the shooting and when the reporters showed up. Yet, this juror is going around and giving quotes. Just thought it was interesting, that's all.

But, anyway, that's something I wish my clients knew. You'd think it'd go without saying, but I guess it doesn't really. And, truth is, the clients that need this kind of advice the most are probably the least likely to take it.

Some General Updates

First, Blawgers Baseball participants, please note that the draft will be next Friday (3/18) evening. So, you've got a week to set up your draft rankings. This also means that if you've wanted to sign up but haven't yet, consider that your deadline.

Second, does anyone else here watch Gilmore Girls? Ugh, I know it might sound pathetic (even I might have thought it was pathetic before I started watching), but I've gotten kinda hooked this year. Actually, what I do is Tivo a few episodes (yes, I know you're not supposed to use tivo as a verb anymore, but I really do use a tivo, not a generic digital video recorder, so I think it's fair use) and then, once every few weeks I have my own little Gilmore Girls festival, complete with Phish Food. Anyway, I'm delighted that Lorelai and Luke have reunited. (Like I said, pathetic, I know.)

Finally, in case you've been worried about my health, the truth is, I'm just still feeling kinda crappy. Not full blown sick, not sick-enough-to-call-in-sick, not sick enough to go to the doctor, not sick enough to even pop some sudafed, just kinda yicky. Mostly just really tired. I come home from work and just sleep. I think I'm tired of winter. I think, instead of Seasonal Affective Disorder, I have Sick-of-this-Season Affective Disorder. C'mon, Spring, get here already!

And, with that, I think I'm gonna go think about my fantasy baseball team.

Quiz Results

I swear, I didn't try to skew the results:

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

(I got it from Inter Alia, who got it from E.McPan, and so on and so forth.)

Alternative Medicine

Ok, how weird is this?

Just this morning I was thinking, "Wow, it looks like I made it through the winter without getting sick." Ok, on second thought, I had some awful stomach flu thing, but I didn't have your traditional stuffy-head, sore throat, cough and cold thing. (Guess what made me think of this? A Nyquil commercial, of course.)

And then, all day I was thinking about it. And realizing how I've been really tired lately. I've been sleeping a lot, and still tired. And really crabby. And, now that I think about it, a little achey. And hot, even when everyone else is cold. And sort of hungry, but I can't think of anything I want to eat, and then not that interested in eating.

My question is, do you think that Nyquil commercial got me sick? I mean, I must see a lot of Nyquil commercials and not feel sick. So, maybe it just brought some kind of underlying cold to my attention. But, either way, now I'm totally annoyed, because I feel like I'm getting sick. And I feel like it's Nyquil's fault.

I think I'm going to go out and buy all of this homeopathic stuff. Has anyone tried any of it? Any recommendations? Yeah, I'll buy it tomorrow on my way to work. Still have to go to work, can't miss that. Oh, and I just realized, I really won't be able to afford cold medicine until payday. I guess that's what credit cards are for. This sucks.

Thumbs Up?

Alright, who went to see The Pacifier this weekend?

Because, what I'm wondering is... Am I going to enjoy it if I really only am going to see it just to look at Vin Diesel?

I've never really been a Vin Diesel fan before, but I saw the trailer and thought, "Ok, I might need to go see that."

And I'm going to have a rough week. (I'm on trial again.) So, I figured I might need to fit in a good movie at some point. Or, at least a good-looking movie.

I deserve it.

Blonde Moment

Boyfriend: I don't want to assume, because I don't want to make an ass out of you and me.

Me: Then why don't you presume, and make an ass out of you and the president?

Boyfriend: There's no "ass" in presume.

Me: Oh.

Boyfriend: Maybe you meant, "make a pres out of you and me?"

Me: Uh, yeah, that's what I meant.

Fantasy Baseball - Last Call

Ok, there's still a little more room in the blawger fantasy baseball league. I'll give it another week, and then I'm going to close it out and get ready for the draft.

So, quit being shy about it. If you want to sign up and I already sent you the info, do it. If I haven't set you the info yet, email me or leave a comment.

My computer was messed up for the past week or two, but it looks like it's fixed now, so I'll try to get the info out asap.

Show Me The Royalties

Wow, I think this is a great idea: "Queer Eye" for Sox Guy.

Those Red Sox guys could really use a makeover. Why didn't I think of that?

Oh, wait, I did.

Trademark / Copyright attorneys - can I get some dough out of this? If we don't have any of those, could I at least get some gunners to research this? I could really use the cash.