Went to a party last Saturday night...

A little dinner party.

Before the party, I put some thought into coming up with an alternate career for the night. But, since I know the host through law school, I thought it might be hard to pull off. I also thought about coming up with another term for my job...

You know, like how garbagemen are now "sanitation engineers," and hairdressers are now "aesthetic assistants," or some crap? I thought maybe if I could make my job title confusing enough, no one would ask me any questions.

I tried to make up something like "case manager for a non-profit" or something... but, no, that would only lead to "What kind of non-profit?" and, then, I'd have to admit what I do and it would probably just make me look like a liar for saying "case manager."

But, as luck would have it, the man I ended up sitting next to never really asked me about my job. Instead, we chatted for a while about his job. He's a stockbroker or investment banker or something. We talked and talked about stock tips, my (non-existent) portfolio, my (nearly-non-existent)retirement fund, and my parents' portfolio.

After a while, I started to feel guilty. I knew I was doing to him exactly what I wanted to avoid.

So, I 'fessed up.

"Ok, I feel bad. I'm a criminal defense lawyer. If you have a cousin that got arrested that you want to ask me about, go ahead."

"No, not really."

"Well, ok, a friend? You? Do you have a case you want to talk about?"

"No, no one I know has been arrested."

"Well, do you want to give me a hypothetical? Ask me if you could get arrested for doing something? Maybe you could ask me about a celebrity's criminal case? Something well publicized?"

"No, that's ok."

And, finally, I felt guilty about not revealing my true identity. But I did get some good stock tips out of the deal.

3 comments:

  1. I say I am a counselor all the time. It's true and to the extent that we counsel the drug dependent etc, it is enough to put most people on another topic.

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  2. Does that mean that you have a secret identity as case manager for a non-profit, but when you need ot save the day, you reveal yourself as Blonde Justice?

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  3. Counselor. I like that.

    After all, that's what most of the court officers call me.

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