Feeling Old

This morning, after church, I stopped in on a conversation between two ladies. One is an older woman, I'm not sure how old, but I know she's a grandmother. I'd say she's probably in her mid-50s. The other girl is a high school student.

I stopped to comment to the high school age girl that she looked "kind of mopey... Is everything ok?" She told me that yes, everything was ok, she was just tired.

"Why? Were you up late last night?" the older woman asked her.

"Yeah, I went to a concert," the girl replied.

"Oh really? What concert?" the woman asked.

"Oh, you've never heard of them," she replied.

Well, I'm young, I'm cool. "Maybe I would have heard of them?" I asked.

"No, you've never heard of them either."

And then she refused to tell me! Can you believe that? Who in the world could she have gone to see that I haven't heard of? I'm cool!

I was tempted to say, "Try me. I know everyone, A to Z. Who was it, Arlo Guthrie? Billy Idol...?" But I know she would have looked at me like I was crazy.

I'm consoling myself with the thought that she probably went to... I don't know... her high school band's concert, to see the geeky flute-playing boy she has a crush on, and just didn't want to admit it because she was trying to act cool. Yeah, that's probably it.

Kids these days.


  1. 10 to 1 odds she actually spent the night with her boyfriend and didn't want to get called on it when you asked, "But I thought NRBQ wasn't touring anymore?"

    Or, another possibilty is that the "concert" was a party at some college with a real band but one which didn't exist two weeks ago and won't next month; she didn't want to have to explain who Heaven's Chickens are because (a) she doesn't know and (b) she'd have to admit being somewhere she wasn't supposed to.

  2. I'm going to have to go with Ken on this one. There was no concert.

    I remember the first beer I ordered at a bar. I was about nineteen (I was a Good Kid in high school), and I was out with a bunch of folks from work. (This is such a sad First Time Getting Drunk In A Bar story ... at least I made up for it.) I walked up to the bar, looked the bartender square in the face, and said "I'd like a beer, please."

    On TV, where you can't use a brand name, that's how you order a beer -- use it in real life, and it's like wearing a "I don't really belong here" button.

    The word "concert" is a lot like that. A concert is a Big Official Event; it involves dressing up and ushers, and a ticket with your row number printed on it. It usually ends by ten.

    Unless you brought your mom or paid fifty bucks to get in, it wasn't a concert, it was a show. Your churchgoer either (1) got slipped past the bouncer for a local group and woke up in the drummer's van, or (2) didn't see any music, but didn't have a better lie handy.

    Lesson one: the hallmark of a great lie is DETAILS. This kid's an amateur.

  3. Isn't that geeky flute playing boy Ian Anderson with Jethro Tull? They rock.

  4. "After church"????????
    If there's a god, then what's the point of practising law?