The Size of The Fight In The Dog

Last month, when I went to visit my mother, I found myself near a K-Mart. Now, when you don't live near a K-Mart, it's kind of an amusing thing to check one out when you get a chance. So I did.

I had fun at K-Mart and got lots of things that I hadn't seen yet around here (not that I'd been looking): the new Domino magazine, some new type of Olay Daily Facials that smells pretty nice, and a bottle of the new Diet Coke sweetened with Splenda.

On the way out, they had a bunch of those machines where you can buy little toys in eggs for fifty cents. I decided to put in a few quarters to get these little dog toys, because I like dogs and they looked cute. Also, there was a display in the machine that showed the different dogs and said what their names were, and yes, I was that swayed that I should "Collect Them All!" In the end, I got two. I thought they were cute, I looked at their names (I remember one was "killer" but what was the other one?) and I stuck them in my bag.

I didn't really think of them again until today when I was getting something else out of my purse. I decided to break open the eggs and check out the dogs.

Here's the first one:

And here's the second one:

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but it only took me a few seconds to notice that the little dog had some really big business, if you know what I mean. This is supposed to be a toy! Here, check it out, you know you want to:

So I looked at the first dog a little more carefully to see if there was anything notable about his, um, business. There wasn't really (maybe it's a girl?), but I noticed, written on it's belly, "HoodHounds."

(I tried to take a picture, but you just couldn't see it.)

That made me put the dogs down on the table while I did a search for HoodHounds. Well, look what I noticed when I put the little dog down on the table"

That's right. He not only had some big... business... he's also doing his business!

As those crazy internet kids would say, "WTF?"

Update: Here's the website I found for HoodHounds. And here's one where you can buy a few of the HoodHounds ($3 each! Wow, maybe this must be the best K-Mart investment ever!), and you can see that there's another one (Slick) with a raised leg. I also learned from this that the other (girl?) dog is named "Capo." Whatever that means.


  1. Honestly, it's probably better the close-ups came out fuzzy. If only I could have really seen the bits'n pieces, I might have been able to also tell if it was obscene.

  2. Oh, yeah, I purposely made it blurry to protect the integrity of this website... yeah, that's the ticket. =)

  3. I'm guessing these "HoodHounds" are the dog versions of the "Homies" that sell at my local Fuddruckers?

  4. I believe "capo" means head, perhaps as in "the head dog" in this little doggy gang that runs alongside the Homies? What is the world coming to...

  5. Just FYI (and I can't believe I'm typing this), girl dogs, um, "squat", and boy dogs put up their legs.

    Generally speaking, of course.

    I'm no expert...just always had girl dogs for pets.

  6. not sure what's sillier; that you took the time to notice this nonsense, or that I just responded to it... :-)

  7. Thanks, yeah, so I figured the one with the external genetalia and the leg lifted to pee was male.

    The other one, I guess could be either. No external genetalia, but maybe it just wasn't all that big... And it's leg isn't lifted, but it might be squatting or it might just be sitting, so I figured that one was a girl.

  8. a can be a small movable bar fitted across all the strings of a guitar or similar instrument to raise the pitch

    Mid-20th century. Shortening of capo tasto , from Italian, literally “head stop.”] The mafioso use the term to signify a family head.