Beauty & The Geek, Episode 4

Oh crap, it's Tuesday night, and I still never wrote last week's B&G recap. Well, I'd better get on it, if I want to be able to go to bed tonight... But this one will have to be quick, I'm tired.

Last week on Beauty and the Geek...

Can I just say that the "social experiment" thing bothers me? I don't know why, but they just keep saying it over and over, and it annoys the crap out of me.

Now 4 teams remain. Richard and Mindi, Lauren and Bill, Chuck and Caitalin (pronounced "kite-a-lin"), and Shawn and Scarlet.

Richard & Mindi return to say "We didn't get eliminated," and Richard probably acts a little too boastful, thus annoying Chuck yet again. The boyfriend and I wonder if it could possibly be random that Richard, who was kind of the "star," and posterchild geek in many of the commercials is still around and getting so much attention. (Let it be known, though, that the boyfriend thinks all reality shows are fixed.) On the other hand, I suppose you could argue that he made it into all of the ads because he made it so far in the competition. Whichever.

They go to find out what this episode's challenges will be, where the host tells them, "Congratulations, you are half of the way through, and have a one-in-four chance at winning a quarter of a million dollars." Chuck says, in a voice over interview, "I resisted the temptation to point out that we were 4/7th, not 1/2 way through, and having a one-in-four chance of winning the prize was contingent on everybody's chances of winning being roughly equal." Yes! Right on. I like that.

This week's topic? The women's challenge will involve "finance," the guy's challenge will also involve numbers... phone numbers. How freakin' cheesey is this, the way they phrase these every week? No, wait, it gets worse. "You're going to learn how to be a man, and get a woman's phone number." Um... ok. Also, this week we learn that only one team will win, as the challenges will be somehow combined.

The men learn that they will have to invite one of the women to a romantic dinner. Chuck immediately asks Scarlett, thus building on last week's blooming romance. Richard spends some time deliberating who he should ask (ever heard of "beggars can't be choosers?") and, meanwhile, most of the women agree to dates with the other men. When Richard finally gets around to asking the women, he has the worst pick up line of all time. He repeats, over and over (first to Scarlet, then to Caitalin, then to Lauren - keep in mind, there were only 4 women left, and I don't think the men were allowed to ask their own partners.)

"I'm a little ill."
"You're feeling ill? Why?"
"Because I'm about to ask you out."

Gee, wow, what a way to get on a woman's good side. Just thinking about going out with you makes me ill! Men, take note - this is not a line you should learn from! Well, except in the instance of learning from the mistakes of others.

That night, the men go on their "dates" with the women of the house (not their partners.) It's a little unclear what they think the purposes of the dates are. For Chuck and Scarlet, I think that it's almost a "real" romantic date. And, Chuck bores the crap out of Scarlet. And I don't think it's because she wasn't bright enough to understand what he's talking about - I think it's because he's just boring. For Mindi and Caitalin (in their dates with Shawn and Bill, although possibly in the opposite order), it seems as if their dates are friends hanging out, maybe female-friend-giving-male-friend-some-romantic-advice. Not in terms of critiquing the "date," but just in terms of giving pointers for future dates or for the upcoming phone number challenge. Finally, for Richard (in his date with Lauren), the date is an opportunity to show off his absolute worst possible behavior and table manners. Or, alternatively, as I'm beginning to suspect, to establish himself as a "TV Personality" by continuing to play the nerd role and not possibly taking this "social experiment" seriously at all.

(Hey, totally off subject, but labeling someone a "tv personality" just reminded me of that guy that N.D.C. was talking about - you know... Miles Kendall, the douche. Ok, back to the show...)

Challenge Time: The women go shopping and are challenged to pick out new clothes for their men. The challenge part? They have to buy them a new wardrobe, sticking to a $1000 budget by adding the clothing costs, plus sales tax, all in their heads. It was a little confusing at first, but it comes down to the fact that they all got to keep the clothes (at first I thought maybe only the winner - the one that came the closest to $1K? - would win and give the clothes to their man.) Also, the new clothing is part of an overall makeover that will presumably help your man be able to get more phone numbers in his challenge. In the end, Lauren wins, with a total of $972 or something. She also wins "an advantage" for her team in the next part of the challenge.

The women bring the clothes back to the men. Chuck comments on the $200 pricetag on a pair of jeans, which makes me think that maybe, Caitalin, his partner, has read this list of things single men must own.

The makeover continues as the men also get their hair done, then do a dramatic coming-through-the-curtain-to-reveal-their-new-look. Some of the men have pretty drastic changes including haircuts and color. Shawn and Bill, for instance, look very different, and certainly more "metro." I think I might even go so far as to say that Bill looks less "hetero." Not in a bad way. In fact, I think he now may be a better looking guy than the host (who, himself, needs a makeover, in my opinion.) Chuck looks a little better - not drastically different, but a little nicer, and a little more confident. Richard? I don't really see the difference. Maybe he was beyond help? Or maybe he didn't want to ruin his "tv personality" as a geek.

Next round: The men go out to some kind of city plaza, with the goal of getting as many women's phone numbers as possible in 30 minutes. The men wear earpieces that their partners can use to give them help. We also learn that the advantage that Lauren won the previous day was a one phone number advantage, so that Bill started out one phone number ahead in the count.

I can't believe the lame attempts some of these guys make! I can't believe the lame things these women fall for!

Shawn (referring to the earpiece), while speaking to two ladies: "Ugh, I got this gooey thing in my ear." Eeeww!

Chuck develops this whole role that he's a gay man working on a film project. The women hand over their numbers at alarming rates - but if this were reality, what would they say if he called later? Here's an example of Chuck not really using the project as a social experiment to learn something that will translate to the real world.

Most of the other men seem to do pretty well with a simple "Hi, I'm (insert name here) ... " approach. Nothing too gimmicky. And that seems to work.

I don't think we see a running tally as the time continues. With only 5 minutes remaining, Richard reverts back to his personality, approaching women with lines like "Hi, I'm in the FBI, can I have your phone number? Hi, do you like garlic? ANYBODY WANT TO GIVE ME THEIR PHONE NUMBER?" Meanwhile, Shawn appears to be giving up, and is just mulling around saying "Ugh! I can't do this! I just want to go home." And Chuck is still raking in the phone numbers with his gay man working on a film project story. (Who here thinks, "Hi, I'm going to be a doctor, can I call you sometime?" would have worked just as well, if not better? So do I.)

And the winner is... CHUCK, the gay film student, with 13 numbers! (Bill, with the one number advantage, finished 3 numbers behind.) Immediately, Richard fears that he will be sent back to the elimination room, given his history and tensions with Chuck.

So, Chuck and Caitalin get to pick both teams that will go to elimination room. Lauren comments that she's confident that she and Bill will be safe because she and Caitalin are very close friends. Meanwhile, we know that Chuck doesn't want to get rid Shawn and Scarlet, with his little romance abloom. In fact, back at the house, we see Chuck give Scarlet a hug and whisper "Don't pack your bags." So, Richard are Mindi are a definite for the elimination room. Richard continues his theatrics by showing up to the announcement with a cigarette and blindfold, as if he were in front of the firing squad.

In the end, Chuck won out somehow, and Shawn and Scarlet are spared. (Or, if you're in the "It's all rigged" camp, the producers would rather see where Chuck & Scarlet's romance will go, and don't care much about Caitalin & Lauren's friendship.)

In the elimination room... Lauren and Mindi are quizzed on math and finance (questions like "If a guy gives you five dozen roses, how many roses do you have?" and "What's a 15% tip on $50?"). Some of the questions get pretty tough. I mean, I could do them easily with a pencil and paper, but in your head, they're kind of hard. Well, for me. But I guess that's why they always joke that lawyers went to law school because they couldn't do math. Mindi gets all 3 of her questions correct, Lauren gets only 1 out of 3.

Bill (Lauren's partner) and Richard (Mindi's partner) are quizzed on dating. Again, these are kind of tough, if not outright unfair. For example, Bill is asked, "On a first date, who should pick up the check?" Bill responds, "The guy should pick up the check." "No, that's wrong, the person who asked for the date, that's incorrect." Now, wait, that's INCORRECT? It's incorrect for the man to pay? Or to offer to pay? Even if he was asked out? This is stupid. Who's going to say it's incorrect for a man to pay? Now I know this show is fixed...

Richard's question is, "On a date, what is the minimum percentage you should tip at dinner so your date can see you are generous?" He answers "20%" which I pretty much agree with, because you want to date a guy who is a good tipper. He's "right." (Although, couldn't you really argue that the minimum might be less than 20%? Couldn't you impress a girl with your generosity by leaving 19% and tipping the coatcheck guy especially well? I guess not.) And with that, Richard leads 4 to 1, making him uncatchable by Bill, so Richard and Mindi win yet again, and Bill and Lauren are kicked out.

Oh, so sad. Richard kisses Lauren goodbye, and now Richard has kissed 2 girls. When the host mentions to Richard that Mindi is 6-0 on the elimination questions, Richard responds, "I told her I'm going to give her all the money when we're done." And Mindi adds, "He has said that a few times." Well, Mindi, as your lawyer, I advise you to GO DO SOMETHING IN RELIANCE OF THAT PROMISE! IMMEDIATELY!

Goodbye Lauren and Bill. Bill, you were getting to cute to be a "geek" anyway. Maybe now you can get a role as one of the fab five or something.

Next time on Beauty and the Geek... Camping! Complete with carrying huge backpacks, lots of falling down, and Chuck shouting at Richard. Oooh, it's going to be good! And it's tomorrow! So, stay tuned!


  1. Not that I would ever watch a show such as the one you describe above but...MAN! That little Richard guy is driving me up the frickin wall! Ugh. Ok. I feel better now.

    I love this show.

    Oh, and what's with the $200 pants? Unless they made my ass look like Brad Pitt's...I can't imagine spending that much cash on jeans...not that I've ever compared my ass to Brad's..or even know what it looks like for that matter! I gotta go.

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  3. I was also annoyed by the answer to "who picks up the check." I think they were basing the questions/answers on the book they gave the men to read. As though that is the bible for dating or something. I also agree with your take on the makeovers. I think it was that shirt that made him look a little less hetero.

    Richard is really bugging me, but I suppose that is the point. I wish he would just stop acting. (It is easier to handle rejection when you aren't being yourself, I suppose). I am still waiting for some monumental twist, but maybe it isn't going to happen.

  4. Thank God for you, Blonde Justice--I missed B&tG last week, and what with Television Without Pity cold-heartedly ignoring the show, I was feeling totally lost going into tonight's episode.

    I totally agree that there were no real right answers to some of those questions. This is definitely evidence of possible fixing--it seems like they could have picked the "correct" answers based on who they want to keep on the show. The Chuck/Richard friction does make for good TV . . .

  5. I never watched the show before last week, but last week I zoned in feeling fully updated thanks to your brilliant weekly commentaries. I was disappointed that Richard and Mindi didn't lose. I thought her answers came a little too easily given that she didn't demonstrate a great deal of mathematical genius in the challenge of the day. So, I was already thinking it was a fix when the whole "guy's don't pay for the first meal" thing came up. Come on - that's one of my golden rules! The man *always* pays on the first date.

  6. "Ashton Kutcher is celebrating after learning his new hit reality show 'Beauty and the Geek' has been ordered for a second season.""Ashton Kutcher is celebrating after learning his new hit reality show 'Beauty and the Geek' has been ordered for a second season."