Beauty & The Geek - Episode 3

Last week on Beauty & The Geek... Wow, I can't believe how much time they spend on this show either re-capping what just happened or telling you what is about to happen. The good news is that if you haven't started watching Beauty & The Geek yet, you can catch up pretty quick.

Last week, Joe & Erika were eliminated. And if the other housemates are sad that Joe & Erika are gone, it's quickly brushed over. Where are the interviews of Brad crying, "Boo Hoo, I'm so sad, I almost had a shot at a 'beauty' and now it's over, I miss her so much?" Hmm... ok... time for the next challenge.

The men will need to learn about fashion, and the women will need to learn about rocket science to be successful in this week's challenge.

The study sessions about rocket science are rather uneventful. I mean, if you think rocket science is boring, think about how boring it would be to watch someone else learn about rocket science. Then, the women are trying to teach the men about fashion.

"See this bag? Who makes this bag?"
"I don't know. Who?"
"Louis Vuitton. See the LVs?"
"No. Where?"

"You're going to need a lot more... I should get out my Uggs, in case they ask a question about boots." Which leaves me thinking, "Yeah, as if they're really going to ask 'What brand of boots are so last season?'"

First up is the women's challenge, where they need to build a rocket that will launch up into the air. They're given what looks like a rocket kit, complete with instructions, and whoever gets their rocket up in the air first wins. Yes, that's right, they have instructions. Despite this, at least one of the girls (Lauren?) looks like she's not even trying. How can you cry out "I can't do this!" when you have instructions right in front of you? They know how to read, right?

Caitilin (Who the heck decided on this "kite-a-lin" pronunciation, anyway? It drives me crazy.) and Krystal were the only two who appeared to even be participating. Krystal got her rocket together but it only launched about as high as her head and then shot right back down. This gave Caitilin an extra moment to get her rocket going and it launched high up into the air.

Next up, the men's challenge. The plan is that the men will go out shopping for outfits that the women will wear in a fashion show. Have you noticed that in the women's challenges, the women do everything and the men just stand there, and during the men's challenges, the women are always somehow involved - usually wearing bikinis?

Alright, so the first stop for the men is a bathing suit store. Let me just say that I used to work in retail, and there are few things as icky as when a man comes in the store, looks you up and down, and then says, while staring at your chest, "I want to buy something for my girlfriend, she's about your size. What size are you?" But you have to give me credit. Never once did I look at their pants and say, "That's funny, because my boyfriend is a lot bigger than that."

Chuck is guilty of asking every sales clerk "What size are you?" Richard describes the swimsuit that he wants to buy as "butt floss" and eventually settles on a leopard print. Why, because he's seen his partner Mindi wearing so many animal prints? No, you know he's developed a hangup for animal prints based on a magazine he's had hidden under his mattress for years now.

When the guys get home, they ask the girls what size they are. Chuck asks Caitalin and she says she's a size six, which I guess is what all of the store clerks were, because Chuck responds, good, that's what he bought. Meanwhile, Richard asks Mindi the same thing, and Mindi responds that she's a size zero. Richard expresses the same confusion at this that I think most people would. "Zero? Zero? How can you be a zero? That's like... nothing."

That night, we see Chuck giving Scarlett a massage (remember that Chuck won the massage contest) and some flirting en espanol ensues. Scarlett asks Chuck if he's ever had a girlfriend and he responds, "Of course." I just picture all of the production staff watching the tapes and thinking, "Oh crap, there goes our portrayal of these guys as totally desperate. Is there any way we can edit this out and keep the massage?"

The next day, it's time for the fashion show, and some people we've never heard of are there to judge the women as they walk the runway in the clothes that the men have bought. First up was formal wear. Over all, most of the women looked cute. Two of the women have the same dresses, in different colors (it's obvious because they have the same big pin), but Lauren's fits her, and Mindi's is too big. (I also like the color of Lauren's better.) Other than those two (Lauren's was a goldish brown color, Mindi's was an aqua color), I think most guys went with the hard-to-fail little black dress. Overall, I think most of the women looked cute in their dresses.

Next up was casual wear. Again, I thought Lauren looked really cute in a turquoise and white striped top and a white skirt. Good job, Bill. The outfit that Chuck selected for Caitalin was really bizarre. It was this pink pouffy prom dress looking thing, with a black sequined sweater thing tied over it. This was particularly strange because during the shopping segment, there was a clip of Chuck saying something like, "Next we went shopping for the casualwear, and by then I knew exactly what I was looking for." I'm really hoping this wasn't exactly what he was looking for. And, it was also strange, because Caitalin kept telling the other girls, "Don't laugh. I don't want Chuck to feel bad." But then when she went out there in the clothes, she pouted the whole time and it was obvious that she hated the clothes.

Finally, it was time for the swimsuits. I think that most guys know (if they've ever lived with a women or seen some commercials or the cover of a women's magazine) that it's pretty difficult even for a woman to find a perfect bathing suit. So, that said, I think the men, walking into a store not even knowing what size they were buying, did alright. Mindi's bikini bottom was too big and she commented that she felt like she had "poop in her pants." Caitilin's bottom, on the other hand, was so small that it needed to be excavated from her butt after every step she took. Sorry, Chuck might be good at massage and have a little more people skills than some of the other guys, but it definitely does not carry over to fashion. Or, maybe he didn't check out the store clerks' asses enough to before he bought the swimsuit.

Overall, I thought Lauren looked really cute in all of her outfits, so I thought she (oh, I mean, her partner, Bill) was going to win. In the end it was announced that Shawn (Not Scott, sorry. He's so memorable, I couldn't remember his name) had won, but as in the massage competition, we're given no indication as to what the scores were or whether the competition was even close. In announcing their decisions, the fashion-judges commented that they wondered if Chuck even liked Caitilin based on the clothes he picked out. Caitilin says later that she thinks the judges were too hard on Chuck, although I think that this is at least partially Caitilin's fault for pouting her way through the fashion show.

So, again, we have the night where the winners think about who they will send to the elimination room. Again, Richard acts ridiculous, walking around with a dunce cap on that reads "I want an alliance." Mindi comments that she's afraid his behavior will put them at risk for elimination, and she's right.

Later the two winning teams announce who they will send to the elimination room and Richard and Mindi are sent to the elimination room along with Brad and Krystal. In announcing this, Caitilin remarks that the point of the "experiment" is to see everyone mature and learn new things and that Richard doesn't seem to be doing this.

In the elimination room, the women are asked questions about astronomy (keeping with the "rocket science" theme), such as "How many times a year does the earth rotate around the sun?" The men are asked questions about fashion, such as "What do the letters DKNY stand for?" I thought that Krystal seemed annoyed that she was in the elimination room again, and I thought it seemed that she was giving up.

In the end, Brad and Krystal were eliminated. As everyone hugged goodbye, Richard snuck in a kiss on Krystal. So, maybe he was breaking down some walls.

And now that's she gone, I think I can say this. Let me first say that I see a lot of transgender people in my work. A lot that I know of (mostly because their rap sheet says "male" on it), and there may even be some that completely passed for women and even their rap sheet says "female." I think that I've seen many different levels of "passability" (if you'll allow to me make up such a word) - from people that I would have believed were female had I not had their rap sheet in front of me, to those with a big Adam's apple and a 5 o'clock shadow. And at the risk of sounding catty, Krystal looks like a guy to me. I kind of thought there was a strong possibility that the "punkd" twist to the show would be that at least one, maybe more, of the women were men. If you don't believe me, next week when they do the intro and show you who was voted off last week, just pause it for a minute and take a good look. She also had the hairdo with the hair brushed across her face, which I thought was an attempt to feminize her otherwise male-looking face. But, with her gone, most of the other girls have me believing that they're really women, so it looks like this twist isn't going to happen.

Stay tuned for next week - when the men have to go to a club and get womens' phone numbers, and the women have to give makeovers to the guys. I am looking forward to the results of these makeovers. Oh, and they're looking for beauties and geeks for next season. Details here. (And if you make it, I promise not to write that you're a dude that looks like a lady. Or that you're a lady who looks like a dude. Or whatever.)


  1. Now that you mention it, she did look like a man! I knew there was something different about her. Thanks for the great recaps. (often more entertaining than the show itself)

  2. It turns out I went to law school with Shawn and he graduated May 2004. The word is that he didn't pass the bar ...

  3. and who is Scott?

  4. Fascinating idea about Krystal! It would be fab if there were more real twists like that on these shows.