Perhaps inspired by E. Spat, I decided, ever so spontaneously, to jump in the car and drive a few hours to visit my mommy for mother's day. She was surprised, and happy, and oh so pleased. I offered to take her anywhere, that's right, anywhere, she wanted for brunch.
Oh, the choices in this little rural/suburb she had to choose from. She combed the newspaper looking for mother's day brunch specials. In the end, she chose, of all places, the Chinese buffet.
So, we went to the Chinese buffet. What am I gonna do, say no?
But, once you've been to the big city, it's hard to go home. And once you've had any kind of real authentic Chinese food, it's hard to enjoy that very Americanized stuff they sell at Chinese places in strip malls.
Except that this place had Chinese food that was so Americanized that it was admittedly Americanized and it was delicious. Like? Like, for example, cheesesteak eggrolls. No, I'm not kidding. Delicious, in sort of a we-can-just-get-over-the-fact-that-we-were-trying-to-be-Chinese-and-enjoy-this-fried-goodness way. And this amazing shrimp in sweet marshmallow sauce. It tastes better than it sounds, believe me. They also had chicken nuggets and pizza. And they played country music over the loud speaker, so they weren't even trying to imitate "Chinese restaurant atmosphere," whatever that is. (Alternative theory: they were trying to rush customers out of there.)
But so, like you're supposed to do at a Chinese buffet, I ate as much as I could. I ate until I felt like I was going to die. And then, I figured that since I didn't eat any of the "expensive" foods that make the Chinese buffet worth the price (like crablegs or sushi), I ate some more. I felt like I'd never ever want to see food again.
A little while after lunch (I needed a nap!), I drove home. And, would you believe, I'm hungry again? Eh, I guess that's what they say about Chinese food. And now that I'm home and hours away from delicacies like shrimp in marshmallow sauce, I'm sure I'll be craving it until I get back there again.
I guess I'll just have to try to make do with authentic Chinese food. I wonder if slathering it with Marshmallow Fluff would have the right effect.