Bail Violator Caught on TV

My advice to clients with ongoing cases is, generally, keep a low profile. That would include not being in the audience in any televised events.

My second piece of advice is never resist arrest. There's really just no reason to. They're still going to arrest you, and you'll either end up hurt worse or with an extra charge (or both).

Friday Spies

Am I the only one still in town? It seems everyone else has disappeared. Well, since I don't have much else to say, I'll take a stab at the Friday Spies (copyright BTQ):

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst? The best thing: The people, the community. I've made a lot of friends and I'd be sad to leave if I ever ended up moving. (At least a small possibilty in the near future.) The worst thing: It's a little too urban, a little too much trash on the sidewalks, that can be an inconvenience. But it's worth it, I like it here.

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to seeturned into reality. I actually have an idea that I'm going to try to patent or trademark or copyright or something. I e-mailed a real patent lawyer, and he advised me not to tell anyone about it to protect my rights. So I'm not telling. And, not that this is part of the question, but I have had a lot of ideas that have been turned into reality later (by others), and I've lost out on that windfall I deserved. Not this time though, I'm preserving my rights.

3. Name an overrated author, musician, and movie. Name an underratedauthor, musician, and movie. Overrated author: Ayn Rand. I tried, it just sucks. Overrated musician: Joss Stone. Everyone loves her, I just don't get it. Overrated movie: All of those Star Wars movies. Sorry, just don't see the appeal.

Underrated author: Janet Evanovich. Oh, c'mon, don't look at me like I'm supposed to be reading "literature." Underrated musician: Carbon Leaf. I love it, but it doesn't seem that they much recognition. Underrated movie: I'm trying to think... most of the movies I liked were well-received... how about For The Love of The Game with Kevin Costner? I think it got mediocre-at-best reviews but was actually pretty cute.

4. If your life were a sitcom slated to air in the fall, what would the show be called? Who would you cast in the starring role? And for extra credit, give us a brief treatment of the show. Duh, of course the show would be called Blonde Justice! I'd probably be most interested in casting a new young actress, but I think I would be looking for someone kind of Kirsten Dunst-ish. And for extra credit, you know, It'd be this cute but spazzy blonde - she's spilling her Starbucks on herself but she makes these great arguments to the jury, She'd try interesting cases (nothing as serious as L&O or as outlandish as The Practice, just real cases where the clients are characters), dealing with crazy clients, charming (almost) everyone she meets, and trying to deal with her life outside of the courthouse, which she actually has a harder time relating to. And maybe she has this online not-quite-"alter"-ego, and she tries to avoid being discovered. (Producers, feel free contact me so we can start working on this!)

(And just so you know, she was going to have some sort of special powers, like Bewitched or Medium or something, but I edited that out.)

5. When is the fun supposed to start? Now! What are we waiting for? (I know this is a movie reference, but sorry, never saw it.)

Praise The Lord

I had kind of an interesting experience last night. Interesting and cool.

The boyfriend and I decided to go for a walk before dinner. It was finally a nice night weather-wise and I like to walk to the park and watch the dogs play. Anyway, we happened down a block that we don't usually walk, and could hear this great music. We looked around and determined that it was coming from a church on the next block, that had its windows open. So, we walked around the block to the front of the church.

And there, right where I had never noticed it before, was a big Baptist church. Well, I guess I had noticed it, because I've looked for parking on that street, but I never really looked up at the church. It was a big pretty old church. Both of the front doors were propped open and coming from inside was some very loud, very excited gospel music.

Although the doors were propped open, we couldn't see in from the street because there was a tall set of stairs leading up to the front door. I suggested that we walk up the stairs so we could see in, but the boyfriend thought it might be disrespectful. I didn't think it would be - isn't that why they have the doors and windows open, to share their music? (Or, maybe it was just getting hot with all the dancing and singing.) And don't most congregations want people to come in and check it out? (Although, my church has some sort of sign outside that says something like "Please join us, all are welcome." and I didn't really see anything at this church. But maybe that's just implied by being a church with open doors, literally.) Maybe this would be a good place for a blogpoll - who thinks it would've been disrespectful to go up the stairs and take a peek in? Granted, I can see the flip side. It would be disrespectful to just come by and gawk. And even though that's not what I was doing, I suppose that's how it could be taken.

Anyway, because I don't listen to the boyfriend that much anyway, (Just kidding! Sort of.), I went up just a few stairs so I could take a look in. Going up a few steps I saw that it must have been some type of choir rehearsal, not a service, because the rest of the church was empty. One of the men in the front of the choir saw me, though, and waved for me to come in. So, we did.

We went in and sat in the backrow for one very awesome jam. They had an organ, a drum set (the teenager on the drums was great), and, as far as I could tell, they weren't following any music, they were just jamming along as it came to them. (Well, at least, "jamming" is what we raised by hippies would call it.) The choir members were dancing, clapping, and (again, as far as I could tell) just shouting out or singing whatever lyrics came to them. Now, compare this to my church: The choir, although diverse, comes to the front of their church with their sheet music held neatly in matching binders, they sing their song and if it's an upbeat one there might be a little bit of toe-tapping or maybe finger-snapping in the audience. I mean, me too of course, I'd feel a little silly going into all-out-dance-mode-shouting-Hallelujah while everyone else tapped their toes. And our hymns don't usually lend themselves to all-out-dance-mode either. But I thought this was just great.

I was a little afraid that someone might come out to us and make a hard sell for their church. Which is what probably would have happened in many churches (yes, including mine). I wasn't too worried, but I was already figuring that we would tell them that we go to the church down the street. But they just let us hang out and listen. We stayed for one fairly long song, and then left.

But all night I kept thinking, "That was really cool. I wish our church had that much energy."

On the way home, I asked the boyfriend, "Do you think that if we went to that church on a Sunday, we'd be the only white people there?"

"Probably." he said. "But they'd probably welcome us."

And I spent the rest of the night thinking, "That's pretty cool."

Michael Jackson's Defense Rests

After celebrity testimony from Macaulay Culkin, Jay Leno, and Chris Tucker, and without testimony from Jackson himself, the defense in the Michael Jackson case has rested.

Rebuttal witnesses are expected, but here's your chance to weigh in...

Where The Heck Have I Been?

Whoa, why didn't anyone tell me that All Deliberate Speed is back? And not just "back," but posting with a vengeance.

I just notices this post - asking whether we, the righteous and moral lawyers could have ever considered the dark side - and was about to comment "Hey, where have you been?" when I realized there are posts going back over a week now.

I know I've been super busy, but someone should've told me so I could update my blogroll.

And, for those who are interested in what I have to say... (if not, what are you doing here?) I wrote a nice long comment over at ADS about why I do this work. Well, truthfully, I started to list reasons why I do this work. It's not an all-inclusive list because I could go on all day and there's only so much room in a comment, but it's a good starter list, so check that out.

Runaway Bride Indicted

What took them so long?

Ham sandwich, people! Ham sandwich!

Beauty & The Geek

You gotta admit, this new WB show from executive producer Ashton Kutcher looks pretty cute.

Or maybe that's just because I think geeky guys are cute.

It premieres June 1st. You can expect to see a link on the "What I'm Watching" list.

Can't Ride The Rides

According to this Washington Post article, Six Flags theme parks are attempting to exclude sex offenders from their parks by including language on the back of each ticket which reads (in substance):
the amusement park reserves the right to refuse entry to anyone convicted of a sex crime or required to register as a sex offender.
This brings so many thoughts to mind. First, how to they plan to enforce this ban? It is unlikely that Six Flags will be conducting background checks at the gates. Most likely, the only guests that Six Flags will be check are season ticket applicants (since these applicants have to supply their name and it may be possible to do a background check in the time it takes to complete the season pass application process, which typically includes a photograph and other identity verification). But, would it be possible to do background checks at the gates? Possibly. This would require asking every guest for identification, and using their name (and possibly other identifying information such as address or social security number) to log onto the state's sex offender registry or call into the registry. This would still allow some people who have been convicted of sex offenses or sex offenders entry since (1) the person may be registered in another state or not currently registered or (2) the person may have been convicted of a "sex crime" but not required to register or not required to register at a level that makes his or her name available on the internet or by phone.

Second, what is Six Flags purpose in adding this language? Do they think it will actually make the parks safer? Doubtful. First, there are the problems I've already mentioned in enforcing it. And second, there must be at least a few people in the Six Flags offices who figured out that this won't eliminate actual sex offenders who have either not offended yet or have not been caught yet, and will eliminate guests who were convicted of sex offenses but unlikely to reoffend (for example, it's highly unlikely that Mary Kay Letourneau will pick up a kid to molest in a Six Flags park.) I think it's obvious that Six Flags is after the illusion of security. Are parents dumb enough to buy this? "Gee, Six Flags used to have a lot of dark alleys where sex offenders could disappear with our children if we didn't keep an eye on them, but now that Six Flags has banned sex offenders, I'm not worried about that at all!" The truth is that actually making the parks more secure would require money to hire more security guards or to train them better or to install cameras, whereas adding this language to the new tickets was relatively free and got them publicity that makes it sound like they're trying to make their parks safer.

Third, what are the slippery slope implications? Some towns are already creating "pedophile free zones" while prohibit sex offenders from moving in to within 2,500 feet of a school, park, playground or day-care center. I trust that the ACLU will appeal as soon as a proper plaintiff (meaning not too scary or rapist-y) comes forward. In the meantime, who else could (or should) ban sex offenders ban? The most obvious idea that comes to mind is internet service providers. They'd have the means to do a check because subscribers give their names and credit info, they could easily add language to their terms of service that makes it a violation to allow a sex offender to use your account, and I cannot think of a better advertisement for an ISP than "Now Sex Offender Free!" But, who else? Let's think of the non-obvious. What about car dealerships selling vans? Shouldn't they ban the sale of vans to sex offenders (since, according to the nightly news, this is what sex offenders so often use to pick up their victims)? Come to think of it, that might also be a good defendant to add for all of those victims' parents filing lawsuits against the police and their city...

But, back to Six Flags. The Washington Post also reports
In 2000, a 19-year-old ride operator at Great America in Gurnee was sentenced to four years in prison for molesting three girls while strapping them into Yogi Bear's Yahoo River boat ride. The arrest spurred a lawsuit that resulted in $1.4 million payments to two of the victims.

My opinion? Six Flags needs to spend their time doing more thorough background checks on their own employees and increase actual security, if that's a concern, not just print an ineffective message on the back of a ticket.

And if this whole sex offender ban goes through? Maybe sex offenders will need to get their own park.

No Fair!

It may sound like the beginning to a joke, but sometimes the funniest stories are the ones you just can't make up...

This afternoon, I was riding the train. At the first stop, a blind man boarded the train with his seeing eye dog and two children, who appeared to be his son and daughter.

After about a minute on the train, the kids seemed bored and, finally, the boy said to his father, "Wanna play 'I Spy'?"

"No thanks" said the father.


More Dogpatch 093
Originally uploaded by quasistoic.
I never noticed graffiti much. I mean, I saw it there, but I didn't pay it much mind. A while back, though, I worked on a graffiti case. My client was a well-known graffiti artist. Well, not really "well known" because, in a sense, he was anonymous. But well known, by his "tag" at least, in graffiti knowledgeable-circles.

I learned a lot about graffiti and the whole underground world surrounding it for that case. Since then I've been noticing graffiti a lot more, and when I'm on Flickr I sometimes like to look at some of the graffiti photos posted there.

I thought this one was particularly appropriate one to share on a Friday.

Living Vicariously

Sad that you're too old for prom? Longing for the good old days of worrying about you will be your date and what kind of corsage you were going to get and who you were going to share your limo with?

Checking out other peoples' prom pictures is almost just as fun.

Oh, the best friends in pretty pink dresses. And the girls in really wild dresses. (Yes, you must look at these last three!)

This is prom? This isn't how I remember prom. I must be getting old!

Are Horns A "Look?"

Well, Brandon fans, it looks like your going to have to settle for Dylan or... what were those two dorkier guys called? That rapper wannabe was David Silver, right? And what about the curly blonde haired guy? Anyway, Jason Priestly got married (again).

The more important story here, though, is the 'do. What's up with that? Do you think he went to the stylist and said "I want something just a little 'satanic?'"

And what's wrong with the woman he's marrying? What kind of wife is she going to be if she can't say "Honey, your devil horns are sticking up again?"

This marriage is doomed.

To Tell The Truth

Fitz-Hume of BTQ has this great post about people who feel a need to exaggerate or lie for the purpose of... I don't know, lame loud storytelling.

And you see it all the time. You'll be on a train and you'll hear someone saying -no, shouting - something like, "I was like, this martini is not worth $50, I don't care if Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were sitting at the next table." Or "You should totally stop by my beach house this summer. The Hilfigers live next door, and they're a little too loud, but it's ok, we'll have fun."

But in the spirit of E.Spat, who so generously shared her bad date stories for our amusement, I will tell one bad date story about a time I went out with one of these types.

(I know that the boyfriend isn't going to like reading the "prior date" topic, but, a) it was a long time ago and far away and b) he could always just skip this post.) Ok, here goes:

First, I want to say that I don't think it was really a "date." It was more like just having a beer with a friend of a friend, but, for the sake of making it "a bad date story" let's say it was. It was my senior year of college, and, to this day, I can't figure out what the mutual friend thought our commonality would be.

So, we're talking, I mention that I'm a senior in college, and he asks what my plans are for after graduation. I tell him that I'm going to law school.

"Really?" he says.
"Where are you going?"
And, like any good law school applicant can, I rattle off the list of places I've heard from, places I haven't heard from, places I hope I can get into, and places I'm pretty sure I'll get into.
"Oh, well, I don't know if I can guarantee anything, but my brother is the Dean of Admission at a law school. I think it's a good school, he could probably get you in."
"Really?" (Oh, I'm so sure the Dean of Admissions at every law school has admitted a few of the old "my brother went out on a date with her, I had to admit her" applicants.) But okay, I'll play along. "What law school?"

"Uh... um..."

Wait for it... wait for it...

"Um... Brown" he responds.

Now, I don't know what kind of pre-law student you were. But, whether you were the kind of pre-law student who could recite the U.S. News list of schools from memory, or the kind who only knew the schools in your region that might admit kids with your G.P.A., you can say it with me...

"BULLSHIT! Brown doesn't even have a law school!"

But I wasn't letting him off that easy.

"Brown? Wow, that's a great school. Do you really think he could help me get in?"
"Sure he could. I would just have to tell him your name, he'd totally he do it."
"Wow, did he go to law school too? I think a lot of those Deans are lawyers too."
"Yeah, sure, he's a lawyer too."
"Really? Where did he go to law school?"
"Oh, he went to Brown too."

Time to try to take it one step further.

"I don't know. Brown is a good school and all, but they say Harvard is the best law school. I'd really like to go Harvard, but I could never get in there."

Does he go for it? Sure does! "Oh, my brother is like best friends with the Dean of Admissions at Harvard too. I'm sure he could talk to him for you too, mention your name..."

I never saw him again, for this and other reasons. (Pathological liars aren't my thing.) But sometimes I still wonder how long he would've tried to keep the lie going. Like that episode of King of Queens, when Arthur tells Doug's friends that he can fix parking tickets, and then they all think he's so cool, but he doesn't really have such a friend so he's just paying their parking tickets, but he wants them to think he's cool, so he keeps paying them, and meanwhile the guys are parking where ever they want because they think Arthur is fixing their tickets.

If a relationship were to progress, how far would he have gone to keep the lie alive? What could he have done? Faked an acceptance letter to me from Harvard? I would've shown up for orientation and they would've said "Who the hell are you?" I would've shown them my acceptance letter, and they would've laughed in my face!

Who Else Is Going Away?

Soupie (of the BBQ Daycare) has announced a summer hiatus. So, I need to know, who else is planning on taking the summer off?

Because I'm going to update my blogroll sooner or later (and add new-to-me blogs like Injustice Anywhere). So, if you're going to hit the road (for the summer at least), or if you think you've got a blog or blawg that I'd like, let me know.

Or forever hold your peace. Or something like that.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Happy Birthday, Blonde Justice Posted by Hello

Your Birthdate: May 15

With a birthday on the 15th of any month, you are apt to have really strong attachments to home, family and domestic scene.

The 1 and 5 equaling 6, provide the sort of energy that makes you an excellent parent or teacher.

You are very responsible and capable.

This is an attractive and an attracting influence.

You like harmony in your environment and strive to maintain it.

You tend to learn by observation rather than study and research.

You may like to cook, but you probably don't follow recipes.

This number shows artistic leanings and would certainly support an talents that may be otherwise in your makeup.

You're a very generous and giving person, but perhaps a bit stubborn in ways.

I've actually had a rough blog birthday. First, there was something wrong with the internet this morning. The jack, the router, the computer... I don't know. And then, finally, I got that back on, and now, the counter that's been counting visitors since my very first visit is down for the first time in a year. So, I would've have liked to tell you how many visitors I've had in the past year, but I don't know. If it comes back up today, I'll fill you in. If it comes back up tomorrow, then you'll know how many visitors I had in a year and a day - as if that's important.

UPDATE: 42,281 Unique Visitors in one year! (But I think you're all unique.)

It's been a good year. We've had some fun, you've given some good advice, we've debated and commiserated. So, thank you for a good year.

And, in celebration, let's all get together tonight for some pretty pink drinks. After the Survivor finale, of course.

A Question of Scruples

I really liked this blogpoll thing (and, yes, I agree that the color scheme was perfect) - and apparently so did you, since you're still voting, even after we know who won the Amazing Race. So I've decided to do another one.

In this version, I will give you a set of facts, hypothetical or otherwise, perhaps a bit of an ethical dilemma, and then you can vote and tell me what you would do in the situation. (Don't worry, this won't be a professional responsibility scenario, for those of you recovering from exams. This will be more like that Scruples game that my parents got when I was a kid but they wouldn't let me play because it was an "adult game" and I just couldn't figure out how there could be a game that a kid couldn't play, I was a smart kid, I could even play Scrabble with grownups, so why wouldn't they let me play? Or maybe this is more like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.)

Ok, you're walking home from work, and boy, do you have to pee... Actually, you had to go even before you left work, but the maintenance people were working in there, but that's another story. And besides that, you stopped at the bank, and you thought that would only take a minute or two, but it took about thirty, so now you feel like you're going to die. And that stupid bank didn't have a restroom for you to use. They must have a bathroom that they use, so why can't you use it? I mean, what is it, in the safe? Whatever.

So, you're walking home, and you see a little lunch shop, that you know has a pretty clean bathroom for customers, and you figure that you've been there often enough that they'll let you use the restroom without buying anything. Because you're broke. You deposited money at the bank, you didn't withdraw any. Because you didn't have any. Whatever.

Now you already know that there's one single restroom with one single toilet and one sink, that could be used by either a man or a woman, because you've used it before. As soon as you walk in, you see that there's already two young ladies camped out in front of the restroom door. They're eating ice cream cones (this place sells ice cream during the summer) and chatting about how drunk they were last night or something.

So, you walk up behind them and say "Are you waiting for the bathroom?" I mean, it's pretty obvious, but maybe they're waiting for someone to come out of the bathroom or something. Which would mean you'd still have to wait, but whatever, you ask anyway.

And one of the girls responds, "Yeah."

So, you wait there for a minute or two. You don't really hear anything going on in the bathroom, and in the interest of being thorough (because you're thorough) you say "Is someone in there?" Sure they're going to think you're stupid, but you've gotta ask. I mean, you're ready to pee your pants.

And the girls looks at you like you have two heads and say "Yeah."

So, you wait there a little longer. Gotta admit, you're listening to the girls' conversation a little bit. What else are you going to do? And... get this... they're talking about the fact that they don't know what they're going to do with their ice cream cones when it's their turn to go into the bathroom.

"I can't carry it in there with me! I wouldn't be able to hold my ice cream and pee."
"I know," says the other one, "besides, that'd be gross, right?"
"Yeah, it would be!" The first one agrees.

One of you could hold the ice cream while the other one goes, you think. And then it occurs to you, hmmm... these girls aren't too bright.

So, you turn around and walk to the counter. "Can I have the key to the restroom?" you ask.

"Sure," the man behind the counter says, as he hands you a key attached to an obnoxiously large key chain to prevent bathroom key theft. Is that really a common problem anyway?

And, just to be safe, you ask "Is there only one bathroom key?"

"Huh?" the guy asks.

"Well, if I have the key now, does that mean the bathroom is empty?"

"You got the only key," he replies.

Now, you have the only key...

Happy Birthday To Me

My blawg birthday is this Sunday, 5/15. Unbelievable, isn't it?

If you're unsure what to get me to honor this special occasion, remember that The Starbucks Card and The Tiffany Gift Card are small, ship easily, and are always in season...

Or, of course, you can just keep reading. That'd be a good gift too.

Who Will Be The First, In This Race Around The World?

Will Ron & Kelly's constant bickering put them behind? Will Uchenna & Joyce's love for each other help them advance? Will Boston Rob & Ambuh get lots of help from Survivor Fans, allowing them to remain in first place?

Find out, TONIGHT, on the finale of Amazing Race!

Runaway Bride On Toast

This has to be one of the funniest things I've seen all day...

My favorites parts? Well, besides all of it? "Look at the eyes - it's her." Or, even better, "I still think her fiance did it." Ha!

I don't know if that final bidding price is anything to laugh at, though...

Chinese Buffet

Perhaps inspired by E. Spat, I decided, ever so spontaneously, to jump in the car and drive a few hours to visit my mommy for mother's day. She was surprised, and happy, and oh so pleased. I offered to take her anywhere, that's right, anywhere, she wanted for brunch.

Oh, the choices in this little rural/suburb she had to choose from. She combed the newspaper looking for mother's day brunch specials. In the end, she chose, of all places, the Chinese buffet.

So, we went to the Chinese buffet. What am I gonna do, say no?

But, once you've been to the big city, it's hard to go home. And once you've had any kind of real authentic Chinese food, it's hard to enjoy that very Americanized stuff they sell at Chinese places in strip malls.

Except that this place had Chinese food that was so Americanized that it was admittedly Americanized and it was delicious. Like? Like, for example, cheesesteak eggrolls. No, I'm not kidding. Delicious, in sort of a we-can-just-get-over-the-fact-that-we-were-trying-to-be-Chinese-and-enjoy-this-fried-goodness way. And this amazing shrimp in sweet marshmallow sauce. It tastes better than it sounds, believe me. They also had chicken nuggets and pizza. And they played country music over the loud speaker, so they weren't even trying to imitate "Chinese restaurant atmosphere," whatever that is. (Alternative theory: they were trying to rush customers out of there.)

But so, like you're supposed to do at a Chinese buffet, I ate as much as I could. I ate until I felt like I was going to die. And then, I figured that since I didn't eat any of the "expensive" foods that make the Chinese buffet worth the price (like crablegs or sushi), I ate some more. I felt like I'd never ever want to see food again.

A little while after lunch (I needed a nap!), I drove home. And, would you believe, I'm hungry again? Eh, I guess that's what they say about Chinese food. And now that I'm home and hours away from delicacies like shrimp in marshmallow sauce, I'm sure I'll be craving it until I get back there again.

I guess I'll just have to try to make do with authentic Chinese food. I wonder if slathering it with Marshmallow Fluff would have the right effect.

Every-Other-Friday Spies

Look! I'm doing the Friday Spies! On a Friday! Actually, I was thinking, they should call this the every-other-Friday-spies. Since that seems to be when I do it. Ok, anyway, here goes...

1. What is a food you have tried but will never eat again, and what don't you like about it? I have tried (a few times, actually) sushi and sashimi, and I just do not like it, Sam I Am. What don't I like about it? Eh, the whole experience of eating cold fish, I guess. The only part I like is the wasabi. WASABI! I have come to the conclusion that although I love fish, I like it fully cooked and served warm.

2. What are your five favorite possessions? Wow... I don't think I'm a big material possessions girl, so this is tough... I feel like I shouldn't just name my 5 most expensive possessions, but that I should instead choose items with sentimental value, but I don't think that I hold my memories tied to material objects. (You could throw away all of my photo albums, and that'd stink, but I'd be ok with it - I've still got my memories, and that's what's most important.) Ok, so here goes: I have two teddy bears that I've had for a long time and they're very important to me, so they're the first two. My car - it's old, but it gets me where I gotta go. My laptop (and the wireless router - that counts as one) - without which you all wouldn't be reading this. And last, but not least, my big bed. Which is warm and comfy and always there for me when I need it most. Man, I love that bed.

3. How do you deal with confrontation? Do you seek it out or do you avoid it? Are you more apt to be the confronter or the confronted? I'm generally a non-confrontational person. I prefer to let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes I'll spend time after the fact thinking, "I should have said something," but generally I err on the side of silence. This is in my personal life. Professionally, I'll confront anyone on behalf of my clients.

4. What will Michael Jackson be doing five years from now? Probably living at his ranch, having little boys sleeping in his bed. Except they'll be even younger. Like, infants or something. C'mon, what do you expect from a California jury?

5. What is the worst movie sequel ever made, what is the best sequel ever, and what movie should have had a sequel but didn't? First, I should say that for a very long time I was anti-"sequel movies." I never saw any Star Wars movies, Star Trek movies, Rocky movies, Indiana Jones movies... basically, my philosophy was that (1) they all seemed like geeky, guy flicks (not "geeky guy" flicks, but geeky flicks and/or guy flicks. Ok, fine, and geeky guy flicks). So, now I've seen a few sequel movies, like Legally Blonde & Legally Blonde and Friday & Next Friday, and the Harry Potter movies.

Which reminds me, I think I'll pick the most recent Harry Potter movie (Prisoner of Azkaban) as my favorite movie sequel. Not that it's the "best" - I haven't seen ton of sequels - but I can vote for it as a favorite.

I feel like maybe Legally Blonde 2 was the worst sequel. Not that it was horrible, but just because the originally was one of my all-time favorite movies (of course!), so I was disappointed by the sequel.

Dude Where's My Car, should have a sequel, but doesn't (so far) - that was a great movie. I'd also like to see a sequel of The Incredibles. I feel like there were other movies or other movie characters where I felt like "Gee, I loved that, I wonder what ever happened to them..." but I just can't think of them right now. Maybe I'll update this if I do. But, in general, I think that if something is a great movie, I don't want there to be a sequel, because I don't want it to ruin my impression of the original movie. For example, Amelie, one of my favorite movies of all time. But if there were a sequel, maybe that would somehow take something away from the movie I loved so much.

People You Meet During Exams

Over at Barely Legal: The Blog, discussion has turned from law school classmates to law school exams. And how classmates dress for exams.

As some of you may know, I once went to law school. I even attended exams. Passed some too. So, I'll add my two cents.

First, I want to say there's nothing wrong with dressing nice for exams. Not that I ever wore an evening gown or anything to exams, but I feel that by getting up and making an effort to get dressed nicely, I feel more awake than I did when I went to an exam in my comfy cozy bum-around-the-house clothes. And it's kind of like when you put on your lucky suit for a trial - you feel like you've got your game face on. So, that's my opinion on that.

Next, I want to mention the people you smell during exams. I'll never forget that during my very first law school exam (Torts! See how I remember?) some woman wore some kind of horrid perfume that distracted me for the entire four hours. After that, I vowed to I douse myself in perfume before every law school exam. Best case scenario, I figured, I'd smell myself and I'd smell nice and it would block out anyone else's bad smells. Worst case scenario (or maybe this is the best case scenario, depending who's point of view we're talking about here), I distract a few other people. Better them than me. Besides, I wear pretty perfume, not horrid stinky perfume.

Finally, a question about dressing for exams. (I expect an answer from Ken on this one). Is it true that Virginia requires you to wear a suit to the bar exam? That sucks. I mean, I'm a proponent of dressing nice for exams, but they shouldn't force you to suit up. What's the point? And, then, to make it worse, I heard that they make you wear a suit with sneakers. Something about not ruining their floors. That really sucks. Ken, please admit or deny. There may be some aspiring Virginia lawyers out there who are stylish enough to refuse to wear the suit & sneakers combo - they're relying on you, Ken.

Alright, that's enough about law school exams. Except to say, go get 'em blawgers. And better you than me. =)

Grammar for Heiresses

You'd think that if your parents could afford to send you to the best schools in the world, you'd end up with better English than this.

(No offense, Paris. You know I think you're hot.)

Runaway Bride, Part Deux

So, there have been a lot of comments to this post about whether or not "the runaway bride" should be prosecuted. I expect that we'll see in the next few weeks whether or not charges are brought.

Quite a few people have raised the issue of jurisdiction. My theory is that she could be prosecuted under what is called "particular effect jurisdiction" which is applicable when a particular jurisdiction suffers a concrete and identifiable injury (such as Georgia did, in incurring the costs of the search), and the effect on the jurisdiction where the alleged crime occur is limited (here, New Mexico).

Certainly, by calling 911 and reporting that she was kidnapped outside Atlanta, she should have contemplated that her phone call would have an effect outside New Mexico, and, in particular, in Atlanta. But this is unimportant. There's no need to prove an intent to harm a particular jurisdiction simply to have proper jurisdiction. The fact that her phone call mentioned Georgia and had an effect in Georgia is enough, whether or not it was intended.

(I'll admit, I don't know much about Georgia law so this is based on the general multistate law and in the area where I practice, but I think it's probably applicable.)

Further, the fact that a big and expensive search was mounted is unimportant. I think it's important in deciding whether or not the prosecutor should bring charges. Personally, it's important to me, and it will probably be important to a jury, but it's not important in whether or not a charges can be brought. But, to those of you saying "They searched for her anyway, not because she called!" That doesn't really matter. What matters is that she called 911 and told a lie. If they hadn't looked for her at all, and she called in a lie to 911, she could still be charged. To me, it makes it more despicable that she knew (and c'mon, she must have known!) that all of these people were looking for her, and instead of just calling home and saying "I'm ok, I just need some time away," she called 911 and not only told a lie but also claimed that she was kidnapped by a Hispanic male, but that's not the only reason she should be or can be charged.

Likewise, to those of you saying "She didn't tell them to look for her," the truth is that she did. Not at the beginning of their search, but that's immaterial. She reported it, and she told a really disgusting and racist lie.

There's been some question raised about whether she has (thus far) avoided prosecution by being "a pretty, young, white woman." I think that may be part of it, but I think the bigger part is that she's a pretty, young, wealthy woman from a well-to-do family. Like I said, I've seen false incident cases prosecuted that involved a lot less. At least one (that I can think of off the top of my head) was a pretty young white woman, but like all of my clients, she was poor.

Actually... the case that comes to mind was kind of interesting, so I'll share a war story... My client was a pretty, young (18 or 19 years old) white woman. She was pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. One day, the two of them get into a verbal argument while on the phone, and he says, among other things, "If you leave me, I'll steal that baby away from you as soon as the baby is born, and you'll never even see him." She hangs up on the boyfriend, and then calls her mother and asks "Could he really do that to me?" Her mother isn't sure, but thinks "Well, what's to stop him? If he gets visitation, he probably could." Her mother suggests that she report the threat to police "just in case." Her mother's thinking, I believe, was that, with this report on file, she would somehow be protected if he ever did something to the baby.

So, boyfriend gets arrested. Oops, I forgot to tell you, boyfriend was also parole. So, he gets arrested for the new case (harassment) and when you add that to a violation of parole (for getting arrested), boyfriend has to stay in jail. Well, girlfriend goes to visit boyfriend in jail, he cries, she agrees to take him back, he promises never to do anything to the baby, and she believes him. She starts to realize that she's going to need his help when the baby is born, too. (Because he'll make a great dad, of course.) He tells her, if you call the police back and tell them that you want to drop the charges, I can get out of jail. And she wants her boyfriend out of jail, especially as her due date approaches.

So, she goes back to the same police officer, and she tells the police officer that she wants to drop the charges. Well, too bad, it's out of my hands now, the officer says. The only way... he says... is if didn't really happen. So she says, "Ok, it didn't really happen." Ta da, she's put in handcuffs and arrested. The D.A. decides either she lied in her first report to the police (that he threatened her) or in her second report to the police (that he didn't threaten her). When I meet her at arraignments, she's "very" pregnant (she had the baby 2 weeks later). She was released, and in the end, she had to spend two days doing community service but avoided getting a criminal record.

Who did she hurt? Eh, I guess you could argue that she was trying to defraud the system that was keeping her boyfriend in jail. What resources did she waste? Maybe an hour of this officer's time. And what she did really wasn't all that ridiculous. In my opinion, what she did seems kind of reasonable, and certainly not "criminal." But, it's important for society to set a standard that it's not acceptable to falsely report crimes. Or maybe the D.A.s in my neck of the words are a lot more zealous and prosecute a lot of ridiculous cases. That's certainly possible too. In fact, I believe that if the runaway bride case took place here, not only would she have been arrested, I think she would have been charged with falsely reporting an incident and a hate crime enhancement (for adding the fact that her abductor was a Hispanic male).

Ok, I think I'm sick of the runaway bride now. We need a new news story.

We Are Siamese, If You Please

You know what sort of weirds me out?

How, in every picture of Mary Kate & Ashley, they pose as if they were conjoined.

(That particular picture isn't so bad. They're kind of just standing next to each other. Later I'll find one where they lean their heads together like they're conjoined at the forehead. But, if you ever seen any picture of them together, you already know what I mean.)