Dinner Carbonara Dilemma

Alright, here's the update on dinner. And, just to throw it in there, a little bit of a dilemma.

Eventually the boyfriend did put some clothes on (he had just gotten out of the shower, I swear!) and open the cabinets, in search of dinner. But, seeing as how the only thing in the cabinets was Oreos and take-out menus (and I don't think Oreos were an ingredient in carbonara), we decided to order some delivery.

Now, the thing about my neighborhood is that there are hundreds of places that deliver. At least 10 pizza-and-or-Italian places. And, there's one company that will pick-up food from any restaurant and deliver it for an almost-reasonable fee. But, truth is, none of them are great. Most of the pizza is so-so at best, we can't find decent Chinese, and most of the other places that deliver are really expensive. (Last time, we ordered 2 sandwiches, and the total was over $40. Seriously.)

Which is weird, because where I grew up, in the 'burbs, there was one pizza place that delivered, and one Chinese place that delivered, but they were both cheap and delicious. You'd think in a nice big city, we'd have more options (and we do), but they're just not that good.

Anyway, we eventually picked out an Italian place that we had never tried before. Boyfriend got spaghetti and meatballs, and I told him, "First ask if they have carbonara. If they don't, I'll take the chicken and linguini alfredo."

He gets on the phone and I hear him say,
"Do you have any carbonara sauce?"
then a pause, and then
"Well, it's a cream sauce. With bacon."

When the Italian place doesn't know what carbonara is... that's a bad sign, right?

So, he orders the alfredo. It'll be a half-hour. We sit around and wait. We watch an entire episode of The West Wing. And wait some more. So boyfriend calls back, and asks how much longer it'll be.

"It should only be a few minutes, the delivery guy left a little while ago."

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings. And the driver reeks of alcohol. Or, as the police report would read, "Strong odor of alcohol on breath. Eyes red and watery. Balance unsteady."

Anyway, we ate the dinner. Boyfriend reports that his spaghetti was "ok," but my alfredo was delicious. It was just what I needed. Oh, and we got some cheesey garlic bread - that was really yummy.

I was wondering, though... if it were you... (and you were a criminal defense attorney, which, in my mind, doesn't mean that you don't think anyone should go to jail, you just think your own clients shouldn't go to jail, but in general, it also means you also don't believe in snitches)... would you say anything or do anything about the drunk delivery driver that's probably going to driving around your neighborhood all night? I mean, not necessarily calling the police, but maybe calling his employer?

Maybe the employer (the restaraunt) would want to cover for him and deny it. (For all I know, it could be the owner's brother or something). In which case, if I ever wanted alfredo again, they'd probably spit in it (or worse). Or the driver would just never come.

But on the other hand, it's a potentially dangerous situation. That driver, especially given that he's making deliveries, reading the delivery slips and looking for house numbers or whatnot, could do some damage.

But on the other hand (yes, I have 3 hands, live with it), who am I to be a snitch?

And, also, if you were the owner or proprieter of the neighborhood Italian place, wouldn't you want to know if your delivery guy was drinking on the job? Then again, maybe he does know. I mean, he probably sees the delivery guy in between deliveries. Heck, maybe the delivery guy sits at the bar and drinks red wine between deliveries, I don't know.

I don't know. What do you guys think?

p.s., Thank you for the recipes, I will get around to making carbonara eventually. After the next grocery delivery.


  1. To me, a snitch is someone who violates a trust. The driver didn't invest in your and his relationship; he just showed up at your house drunk. And, he is a danger to everybody on the road.

    This bleeding heart liberal would call the cops on him.

    (and btw, love the blog)

  2. Drunk driving is one of my "issues." And by that I mean that I think it's a stupid, asshole, selfish, and utterly unnecessary thing to do that endangers lives and property for NO GOOD REASON.

    Being in law school, I would advocate a "balancing approach." One the one hand, you don't want to be a snitch. On the other hand, this guy could injure or kill someone, or at the least, really ruin someone's day. While I TOTALLY understand not wanting to tell on someone, I think that in this case, it's the lesser of the two evils.

    I'd probably tell the restaurant first, though. He might get fired, but that's better than getting arrested, which would lead to him losing his license and his job anyway.


  3. Oh and as far as them spitting in your alfredo, call from work and don't tell them who you are. Or better yet, see if you can call from the DA's office so that comes up on the restaurant's caller ID. Let them know that you ordered some delivery food and the driver was drunk and that you'd rather not leave your name, but if you order again and a drunk guy brings the food, you'll be calling the police.

    They might not take you as seriously, but as someone who nearly went crazy trying to find a place that would delivery perogies (I live in Chicago. You'd think every place would delivery perogies but nooooooo...) yesterday, I can understand the importance of preserving good delivery options.

    I live in the Swedish/Middle Eastern/Lesbian part of town rather than the Polish part so I never found any perogies within delivery range, alas.


  4. "Swedish/Middle Eastern/Lesbian"?

  5. OK, I'm happy to be the hardass...I would call the cops. If that guy hit the little kid that lives next door and killed her (or whatever), I would feel guilty and never forgive myself. If he doesn't want to get in trouble he shouldn't be a drunken delivery driver.

  6. You have to report it. Look at it this way, would you rather be the snitch or the girl who met the drunk driver only hours before he killed the kid down the street. Phone the police!!! People only drink and drive because you rarely get caught.
    A Lisa
    p.s If the delivery guy gets caught that will hopefully end his drinking and driving in the future too. He might even be thankful for that.

  7. My experience with smallish restaurants that take forever to deliver is that they don't really have a delivery guy, its the cook's brother, or the back-up bartender. That's why it takes so long to get him to bring you noodles with sauce.

    Anway, if he was as obviously drunk as you describe the right answer is call the cops. As others have said you don't want this on your conscience. And calling the cops is better than calling the restaurant for at least three reasons:

    1) you transfer the responsibility for the problem to the people whose job it is to handle it.

    2) The restaurant clearly has a responsiblity, but they will almost certainly do nothing. Face it, they know he's drunk and they already don't care.

    3) Its more anonymous -- you can keep ordering from the restaurant, they'll never know it was you.

  8. Just phone in an order of Alfredo to the police station and they'll get him when he comes to drop it off.

  9. Sometimes delivery drivers show up to someone's apartment, and they tip you a shot or a beer or a bong hit.

    Just because he smelled like alcohol does not mean he was drunk; he may very well have taken one shot just a few minutes before, but still have been well below the legal limit.

    If you feel obligated to complain about him, so be it; but don't take it as a given that he was doing anything dangerous.

    If I were you, I would mind my own business...

  10. Oh my god, are you kidding me? The fact that the delivery driver is getting shots, or even better, BONG HITS, as "tips" does NOT make me less likely to call the cops. It makes me more likely to call the cops and more likely to never eat at the place again because...well, taking bong hits and shots as tips??? WHAT? Thank GOD his job depends on operating a motor vehicle.

  11. Why not call the cops and then show up at the restaurant the next day with your business card?

  12. Mind my own business? It is my business when he shows up at my house drunk, doing god knows what with my food. As for the legal limit-- who cares if he is above or not. Should we give him a BAC test? How about read him his rights? "You have the right to remain silent. If my food is cold, you have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, a pizza will cover the cost." There's no need to lawyer every damn thing, especially when it comes to dinner. ;)