Girlfriends (Again)

Ok, I lied. I'm not done venting about my clients' families.

I have this one client who was on parole when he got arrested. Twice. (Also, he had stopped reporting to parole, so he was wanted by parole even before he was rearrested). So, he's getting his parole revoked. That's the way parole works. You get a chance to get released early, on the condition that you stay out of trouble. If you get rearrested, your parole is revoked and you go back in to finish your time. My client understands this. He's going to fight the new arrest, because it will give him something to do while he's in jail and because it's always better to keep your criminal record to a minimum, but win or lose on the new case, he's staying in prison. My client understands this too.

But his girlfriend doesn't. No matter how many times I explain it. She calls every morning and leaves a message telling me something that I should do in her boyfriend's case so I can get him "RORed." I've told her a hundred times that even if he were RORed on my case, Parole is making him finish out his sentence. Anyway, she leaves these messages with these ridiculous ideas.

The other day it was "Hi, this is Miss Girlfriend, Mr. Client's Girlfriend. I'm calling to make sure you put in a motion to throw out the 911 tapes. I think there's a deadline and I think it already passed, so make sure you got the motion in on time. Because I talked to my friend who had a case, and he would've beat his case if his lawyer had put in a motion to throw out the 911 tapes, but his lawyer didn't do it, so I wanted to make sure you did it in my boyfriend's case. Because he needs to get RORed. Because I'm going to be having my baby soon..." These messages fill up my voice mail every day.

Then I have to call her back and explain that because her boyfriend sold drugs to an undercover police officer, there was no 911 tape. The police were already out there on the street corner, and they didn't need to call 911.

We go through at least one issue like this every day. I feel like I'm teaching criminal law and criminal procedure one excruciating issue at a time.

And she always calls early in the morning. I get to the office early so I can have a little "me" time before court. I check my e-mail, write on my blog, get my files ready for court, check the news, and get changed into my suit. That's my time to get ready for the day, not my time to teach criminal procedure for dummies.

Just for the record, if I were to teach criminal procedure (which would be fun), I would like to: (1) get paid for it and (2) hold the class sometime after 8 a.m.

Ok, now I'm done venting. For the time being.


  1. Hi, this is Miss Girlfriend, Mr. Client's Girlfriend, just wondering if you ever finally filed that motion to dismiss the 911 tapes ...

  2. Dismiss? Do you mean "throw out?"

  3. And they didn't say they were cops when my boyfriend asked. That means the arrest has to be suppressed.

    Oh yeah, they didn't read him Miranda either . . .

  4. Suppressed? Where do you people get these words? Your clients' girlfriends sound a lot smarter than mine.

    Mine say "They got to let him go, they never read him his rights" or "They got to let him go, they lied to him."

    Ha! If lying was grounds for a dismissal...

  5. Okay, ya' got me. Not too many of people actually say "Miranda."

    However, I am told I need to "suppress" all the time. No one seems to realize that there has to be reason and seldom do they have one (or at least one that can actually be used in court). Nevertheless, they want me to suppress.