It's My Blog, I'll Rant If I Wanna

This article really got me started. And it just proves my point.

In my neck of the woods, it's illegal to drive while talking on a cell phone. Unless you have one of those "handsfree" things.

I think that's totally wrong. Take that to trial and put me on your jury. I'm all for nullifying that law.

And, this isn't just because I'm a criminal defense lawyer. I was a victim too. I'm serious. A few years back, I was rear-ended by a young woman who was talking on the cell phone while driving her big Land Rover. Did that make me think it should be illegal to drive while you're on the cell phone? No, it made me think that this particular woman wasn't paying enough attention to what she was doing at this particular moment.

And I can't be the only one. Let's get together and form our own lobbying group of people who want to legalize cell-ed driving. It'd be like MADD, but the opposite.

Why? Because for a normal person capable of multi-tasking, talking on the cell phone while driving isn't dangerous. In fact, talking on a cell phone isn't any more distracting than eating a big mac or watching a dvd (both of which are completely legal to do while driving).

This guy killed two people when he caused an accident because he was watching a DVD on his dashboard television. In the article, the prosecutor says that this is an issue that the Legislature should address. What? The legislature should pass an individual law for each possible distraction? If it was proven that this man was watching a movie instead of the road, he would've been convicted of something. They must have "reckless driving" or the like in Alaska. No, Ms. Prosecutor, the jury just didn't believe your case, and there's nothing the legislature can do about that.

I see people driving down the highway with their kids punching each other in the backseat, mom turning around every two seconds to yell at them, take the toy away from them, slap them. I say when it becomes illegal to drive with your kids in the backseat, then you can criminalize driving while talking on the cellphone.

Ah, I feel better.

Wait, one more thing. What about those handsfree cell phones? Those should be illegal. Seriously. Because now, you see people walking down the street shouting, and you don't know if they're just crazy people who talk to themselves, or if they're on the phone.

Make the handsfree phones illegal, bring back the phones that require you to hold your hand to your head. And that will make people use their phone less, because they get tired of holding their arm like that. Thereby preventing brain cancer. See, it's an all-around good plan.


  1. I think that talking on a cell phone should be illegal, but as part of an overall "no multi-tasking while driving." Some places agree with you on the dvd thing. New York, among other states, has a law that prohibits watching television while driving. Some guy recently was arrested for watching porn while driving in Detroit. I can't find the link, but it was a Washington Post story.

  2. Oh yes, that's what we need: A "no multi-tasking while driving" rule. Because the police need more vague reasons for pretext stops.

  3. You may be interested in the British Study that found that cell phone users were 30% slower to react than legally-intoxicated drivers with BACs of 0.08%. But these are probably the same kinds of people who buy vowels on Wheel of Fortune just to fill in all the letters.

    I blogged about the study here:

  4. Funny you mention these people that look like crazy people walking down the street looking like they are talking to themselves.
    Apparently, this is the reason the 'hands free' devices never were able to sell in Japan, so they recently came up with their own version of 'hands free' equipment. Instead of sticking a device in your ear, you stick your finger in your ear and talk wrist.

  5. Whoa, "bone conduction."

    We've come a long way, baby.

  6. "Oh yes, that's what we need: A "no multi-tasking while driving" rule. Because the police need more vague reasons for pretext stops."

    .... Oh my goodness, what has this world come to: a law actually designed to protect public safety? Lemme tell you, if the cops want to stop you, they're going to stop you, law or no.

  7. It's not really talking on the phone that's dangerous. It's that 10 seconds of dialing when you're not watching where your car is going. That's why this law is retarded. A wireless headset doesn't take away that danger. I have one and I still almost kill people daily whilst I'm calling my 'hos.
    Once you've dialed, your safe and there's no danger in answering. Maybe they need a must use speed dial law instead. I guess it's too hard to regulate that way. The doughnut eaters would also miss out on all that extra revenue, which is what this law is really about.