50 Worst Songs Ever

I saw this on a few other blogs and decided to copy it. You're supposed to paste the 50 Worst Songs of All Time (according to blender.com) and then put in bold the songs that you'll actually admit liking. I've added comments too, because I figured you might care.

50. C√ČLINE DION - “My Heart Will Go On” 1998. How can this only be #50? I'm hoping to see a lot more Celine on this list...
49. RIGHT SAID FRED - “I’m Too Sexy” 1992. Yeah, ok, I liked this in a "I listened to it, it was funny, I didn't need to hear it again" sort of way. But not in a put-it-in-bold-because-I-liked-it-and-how-dare-they-say-it-sucks sort of way.
48. THE BEATLES - “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” 1968.
Before my time, but I got to know it as the theme song to the TV show "Life Goes On." And I found it to be cute and catchy. And why you gotta diss The Beatles?
47. BRYAN ADAMS - “The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You” 1996. I don't really recall this song, but it sounds like it would suck.
46. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK - “Hangin’ Tough” 1989. I've gotta admit that I love the New Kids. Especially Joey, he was the cute one.
45. JA RULE FEAT. ASHANTI - “Mesmerize” 2002. I don't remember this one either, which sounds like a good thing.
44. MEATLOAF - “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” 1993. Nope. Let's stick to Paradise by the Dashboard Light, shall we?
43. UNCLE KRACKER - “Follow Me” 2000.
I thought it was catchy. Not deep or anything, just catchy enough.
42. SIMON & GARFUNKEL - “The Sounds of Silence” 1965.
41. BILLY JOEL - “We Didn’t Start the Fire” 1989.

40. COLOR ME BADD - “I Wanna Sex You Up” 1991. I remember that my friend and I liked this song so much that we would call each other everytime it came on mtv or the radio. Which was every 6 seconds.
39. RICKY MARTIN - “She Bangs” 2000.
38. REDNEX - “Cotton Eye Joe” 1995. I really can't stand this song.
37. GERARDO - “Rico Suave” 1991.
36. MASTER P FEAT. SILKK, FIEND, MIA-X AND MYSTIKAL - “Make Em Say Uhh!” 1998. It's not like I'm crazy about it, but it doesn't belong on the Worst Songs list - there is much worse out there.
35. R.E.M. - “Shiny Happy People” 1991. I love R.E.M., but this song was lame.
34. DAN FOGELBERG - “Longer” 1979. No Clue.
33. AQUA - “Barbie Girl” 1997. Awful song, but incredibly catchy.
32. WILL SMITH - “Will 2K” 1999. Not Will's best.
31. CRASH TEST DUMMIES - “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” 1994. Laughably awful.

30. WHITNEY HOUSTON - “Greatest Love Of All” 1986. I seem to remember singing this at my kindergarten graduation or something, but if it was from 1986 I guess that's just not possible.
29. DEEP BLUE SOMETHING - “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” 1995. What's wrong with this song? It made me rent Breakfast at Tiffany's, which I liked. At least that's one thing we've got.
28. JOHN MAYER - “Your Body is a Wonderland” 2001. Gotta admit, I love this song.
27. EUROPE - “The Final Countdown” 1987. Don't really remember this one either, but it sounds shitty.
26. THE DOORS - “The End” 1967. Before my time.
25. PUFF DADDY FEAT. FAITH EVANS AND 112 “I’ll Be Missing You” 1997. Ok, I'm just too much of a stickler, but the line "Give anything to hear half your breath," really bothers me. What would half a breath do? And would hearing it really be enough? We know your point is that you wish Biggie was still alive, that's the whole point of the song, but that line is just dumb. And just quit messing with songs by the Police.
24. FIVE FOR FIGHTING - “Superman” 2000. I like this song in this weird remembering 9/11 way. If that makes any sense.
23. COREY HART - “Sunglasses At Night” 1984. At first I thought this was "My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades." But it's not. And this song sucks.
22. TOBY KEITH - “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)” 2002. I don't need to know this song to know that it sucks.
21. SPIN DOCTORS - “Two Princes” 1992. This was good pop stuff.

20. LIONEL RICHIE - “Dancing On The Ceiling” 1986. Lame-o.
19. MR. MISTER - “Broken Wings” 1985. Yeah, this belongs in the Top 20 Worst Songs Ever.
18. CHICAGO - “You’re the Inspiration” 1984. When I was a kid, I got this little casio keyboard, and it came with a little songbook, and this was one of the songs. So, I never really knew whether I just thought the songs sucked the way I played it, or if it really did suck all on it's own.
17. HAMMER - “Pumps and a Bump” 1994. Please Hammer, quit singing.
16. 4 NON BLONDES - “What’s Up?” 1993. Maybe if she quit whining, this song would suck less.
15. THE REMBRANDTS - “I’ll Be There For You” 1995. Oh c'mon, everyone liked that song. Except The Rembrandts, of course.
14. BETTE MIDLER - “From a Distance” 1990. I just always wondered if this was meant to be a religious song, or if it just sounds that way.
13. GENESIS - “Illegal Alien” 1983. I don't remember this particular song, but I've never liked Genesis.
12. THE BEACH BOYS - “Kokomo” 1988. Admit it, this song made you feel good. at least the first few times you heard it.
11. CLAY AIKEN - “Invisible” 2003. Clay Aiken sucks. And how in the world did people think he was attractive? Isn't being moderately attractive required for being an American Idol? I think they must've put subliminal messages in that American Idol show for people to think that this kid had anything going for him.

10. PAUL McCARTNEY AND STEVIE WONDER - “Ebony and Ivory” 1982. I was just a kid, but I thought this song was somewhat cool. But not cool enough to put in bold.
9. MADONNA - “American Life” 2003. I don't know this song other than that the video was controversial and possibly anti-Bush. Which is good, but doesn't make it a good song.
8. EDDIE MURPHY - “Party All the Time” 1985. I sort of remember this song, but I never realized it was Eddie Murphy. Like, Eddie Murphy the actor, right?.
7. BOBBY McFERRIN - “Don’t Worry Be Happy” 1988. Are these people opposed to happiness or what? I like the whole Jamaican sound. And it was impressive that the whole thing was a cappella. Quit picking on Bobby McFerrin.
6. HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS - “The Heart Of Rock & Roll” 1984. Wasn't this in a movie or something? Ghostbusters maybe?
5. VANILLA ICE - “Ice Ice Baby” 1990. This song rocked. We had a dance to it and everything. And this girl Jessica in my class did the dance the best. Man, was I jealous. Thank god for an anonymous blog so I can admit these embarrassing things. So, I'll admit another embarassing thing - the first time I heard Queen's "Under Pressure," I was mad that they had ripped-off Vanilla Ice. "Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know. Turn off the lights and I'll glow."
4. LIMPBIZKIT - “Rollin’” 2000.Not a great song, but a decent song for getting psyched for something. And you need songs like that. I just don't really like being told put my hands up, breathe in, breathe out. That makes it kind of weird. Quit bossing me, Limp.
3. WANG CHUNG - “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” 1986. Yup, loved this song in elementary school. Couldn't figure out what it meant to "wang chung," but loved it regardless.
2. BILLY RAY CYRUS - “Achy Breaky Heart” 1992. I'm just trying not to even think about this song, I'm that afraid it might get stuck in my head.
1. STARSHIP - “We Built This City” 1985. Yeah, I can see how this is the Worst Song Ever.

That took way longer than I thought it would. I've gotta go watch Tivo.

2 comments:

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  2. Hi, Justice. I was only watching your blog and found your comments somewhat...utterly sincere. In the blogosphere there's not too much people admitting being fond of NKOTB and Vanilla Ice, and yes... I hate people bashing Beatles! For instance, they should have listened to Mr. Moonlight, this is really Beatles at its worst...but you have to hear the entire catalog to find out first. Blond Justice, keep on going!

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